Yesterday I wrote the Prologue, a nice 1000-ish introduction to the protagonist and antagonist who will be working together and battling each other over the course of this epic.
Tonight, I wrote a good 1600-ish word Chapter One that begins to introduce the city, and gives you a peek at some of the evil that is starting to brew in this small coastal fishing town.
I'm pumped. I'm stoked. I'm excited.
I've got a lot of good source material, and I'm just expanding on it and making it my own from all of the great ideas the three of us came up with fourteen years ago. I'm enjoying the characters I'm starting to develop in my mind, and I can't wait to get them on "paper".
This could be it. This could finally be the novel I get completed.
I know I'm in the honeymoon phase with it right now, but the way I'm expanding the twelve episodes into much more has me optimistic that it's going to give me a lot of material to write, play with, and mental screw with the audience. It's "Twin Peaks" meets Time Travel, and I'm loving it.
Gotta hold on to this passion. Can't let it slip away. Gotta keep on myself to write.
I was very happy I wrapped up in time to watch @midnight live tonight.
Now I'm debating on starting Chapter Two tonight, or saving it for tomorrow's writing session.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Monday, July 14, 2014
Prologue Written
So, in my last post I talked about beginning work on "The Hallway".
I have now written the Prologue to the novel, which technically serves as the set up for the final confrontation - yes, as you know, I also like telling storied non-linear-style.
I set up the main character and the antagonist. And begin to explain a little bit about the city where these events take place. It's going to be rich with characters, and the main character actually won't pop up for a chapter or two, while some of the other set up begins happening. So, I wanted to make sure and do this first, so that the audience knows who they will be ultimately rooting for. Chapter One will start off really creepy and disturbing, and I didn't want that alone to scare people away. I wanted them to know they were going to eventually meet this man, who is going to be a part of something very supernatural and difficult. I'm really happy with the 1000+ words I wrote today, and really looking forward to working on the next chapter.
I'm going to take a little slower with this one before I start posting them online, but I probably will sooner than later. I just wanted to get a couple more chapters done first, and I'm trying to consider the idea of making a Facebook page to post the writing on. As I've previously lamented about, Facebook seems to dominate the web these days, and if I want this to be easily accessible to people, I might want to take that route for posting the chapters. We'll see how it goes. Still going to knock out a few chapters to make sure I'm committed to this, before I start sharing with everyone. Although, I did send the Prologue to my close friend Claire to get her feedback. We'll see how that goes...
Felt really good to write today. Felt really good to be creative. Gong to spend some time tonight going over all of the notes, piecing some things together and start mapping out the next few chapters - that always seems to help me in my writing process, to know exactly where I am going exactly on what timetable of writing. Feeling good right now.
I have now written the Prologue to the novel, which technically serves as the set up for the final confrontation - yes, as you know, I also like telling storied non-linear-style.
I set up the main character and the antagonist. And begin to explain a little bit about the city where these events take place. It's going to be rich with characters, and the main character actually won't pop up for a chapter or two, while some of the other set up begins happening. So, I wanted to make sure and do this first, so that the audience knows who they will be ultimately rooting for. Chapter One will start off really creepy and disturbing, and I didn't want that alone to scare people away. I wanted them to know they were going to eventually meet this man, who is going to be a part of something very supernatural and difficult. I'm really happy with the 1000+ words I wrote today, and really looking forward to working on the next chapter.
I'm going to take a little slower with this one before I start posting them online, but I probably will sooner than later. I just wanted to get a couple more chapters done first, and I'm trying to consider the idea of making a Facebook page to post the writing on. As I've previously lamented about, Facebook seems to dominate the web these days, and if I want this to be easily accessible to people, I might want to take that route for posting the chapters. We'll see how it goes. Still going to knock out a few chapters to make sure I'm committed to this, before I start sharing with everyone. Although, I did send the Prologue to my close friend Claire to get her feedback. We'll see how that goes...
Felt really good to write today. Felt really good to be creative. Gong to spend some time tonight going over all of the notes, piecing some things together and start mapping out the next few chapters - that always seems to help me in my writing process, to know exactly where I am going exactly on what timetable of writing. Feeling good right now.
Started a New Project
I know its been a few days since I checked in here.
It was a long weekend of work, and then the World Cup Final took up most of my day yesterday - as my roommate and I hosted some people over for a cookout and viewing. It was a great time, and I was VERY happy to see Germany come out on top!!!
I've had some free time to think over some things recently, and I just kept trying to decide what I was going to do as far as writing goes. I'm still stuck in a holding pattern on "Perfect Life For Large Price" - which I want to find the motivation to finish, but it is just not there at the moment.
So, I began thinking about what I like, and what I enjoy writing about. Obviously, if you know me, these things won't come as a surprise: Time travel, relationships, and the supernatural/unknown (like David Lynchian Style). These all reminded me of a project from back in 2001, when two friends and I mapped out a concept for a Television Series we wanted to do. It deals with the Occult and lots of supernatural elements including some pretty weird time-travel-like moments.
So, this morning I dug those notes out of my boxes and started reading over them again, and getting a little bit of a passion for this project again. Obviously, I'm going to make some changes and elaborate on some various things we never addressed, and flesh out a few more characters - but the concept, the tone, the idea, it will all still be there in this epic battle of good vs. evil. We originally called it "The Hallway" - and in 2008, I attempted to convert this into a screenplay called "What Happened to Stephanie Carlisle?" which I wanted to be GemInI Films next project. Sadly, that never shaped into anything - which now gives me the chance to once again re-visit it, dust off the ideas, and see what I can turn it into. Can I even make this a trilogy? I've mapped out the first few chapters - which is always motivating to me, and helps me write knowing where I am going next. So, I feel like I will get those done over the next few days. I've already sat down this afternoon and knocked out the first 500 words of the Prologue.
Now, as I take a break to make some dinner - I keep staring out the back patio and noticing the intense weather going through Indianapolis right now. Dark skies, lots of rain, heavy winds... Making me want to put in "Twister". Hopefully I decide to pick writing more over viewing that movie...
It was a long weekend of work, and then the World Cup Final took up most of my day yesterday - as my roommate and I hosted some people over for a cookout and viewing. It was a great time, and I was VERY happy to see Germany come out on top!!!
I've had some free time to think over some things recently, and I just kept trying to decide what I was going to do as far as writing goes. I'm still stuck in a holding pattern on "Perfect Life For Large Price" - which I want to find the motivation to finish, but it is just not there at the moment.
So, I began thinking about what I like, and what I enjoy writing about. Obviously, if you know me, these things won't come as a surprise: Time travel, relationships, and the supernatural/unknown (like David Lynchian Style). These all reminded me of a project from back in 2001, when two friends and I mapped out a concept for a Television Series we wanted to do. It deals with the Occult and lots of supernatural elements including some pretty weird time-travel-like moments.
So, this morning I dug those notes out of my boxes and started reading over them again, and getting a little bit of a passion for this project again. Obviously, I'm going to make some changes and elaborate on some various things we never addressed, and flesh out a few more characters - but the concept, the tone, the idea, it will all still be there in this epic battle of good vs. evil. We originally called it "The Hallway" - and in 2008, I attempted to convert this into a screenplay called "What Happened to Stephanie Carlisle?" which I wanted to be GemInI Films next project. Sadly, that never shaped into anything - which now gives me the chance to once again re-visit it, dust off the ideas, and see what I can turn it into. Can I even make this a trilogy? I've mapped out the first few chapters - which is always motivating to me, and helps me write knowing where I am going next. So, I feel like I will get those done over the next few days. I've already sat down this afternoon and knocked out the first 500 words of the Prologue.
Now, as I take a break to make some dinner - I keep staring out the back patio and noticing the intense weather going through Indianapolis right now. Dark skies, lots of rain, heavy winds... Making me want to put in "Twister". Hopefully I decide to pick writing more over viewing that movie...
Sunday, July 06, 2014
I Got Words to Write, So Listen if You Like
First, I want to thank a lot of people for reaching out and making comments and the like to let me know that I'm not the only one who starts projects that they never finish. I never thought that I was the only one, and I wasn't trying to write any "woe is Shane, the only writer who can't finish..." type of post the other night. I was just merely attempting to address my writing ADHD and how I start off so passionate with an idea that I quickly lose interest in the story.
That, obviously went down the rabbit hole of sharing some personal thoughts and feelings on some of the projects I have had in the past, at various stages. Perhaps I shared too much, but someone once gave me the compliment of calling me "intrepid" and that something that I have attempted to hold myself up to. I write/say/do things that I probably shouldn't at times, but it's how I embrace life. I deal with the consequences later.
So, looking back on that previous post - I want to make sure that people also understand about me: I am proud of all of the stuff that I have written. Be it but one chapter, ten chapters, a whole script, or only 33 chapters of a novel. I love every character that I create in my mind and transfer into the words on a computer. All of those project did one important thing for me: they made me use my brain to create people, situations, interactions, and dialogue. It took those synapses and put my fingers to work making the words come alive on the screen. And I am most proud of the fact that I have completed 33 chapters of a SciFi novel, telling a story that I am very proud of.
Now, as far as "Perfect Life For Large Price" goes, I've hit a tough spot - and this is going to sound somewhat like a cop-out, but it's more just an evaluation of who I am. I need a driving force, and I've always wanted an "editor" for the novel. I've always wanted someone to read it after I wrote it, make some grammatical errors and corrections for me, tidy up some of the places where I talk too much, etc... When I was doing film work, I always had Jason or Zach in this role - "Where's the script?" or "Is the new scene done yet?" - I had people who I did not want to let down, thus it was my driving force. Same thing on editing those films, "I want to see the next scene, is it cut yet?" - and I would dedicate all my time to getting that done and ready for them to see. In the beginning of "Perfect Life For Large Price" I had a lot of people telling me there were reading it, I had a lot of people telling their friends to read it. I was getting some good page hits from all over the US, as people were recommending it on Facebook. And that drove me. That motivated me. The concept of delivering to these people, specifically my close friends. Everything was going on such a great pace, until the death of one of my best friends. That just rocked my world, shook me to the core, and made me stop caring about a lot of things. I lost my way, and it's taken me many years to get back to this point, where I'm more interested in sitting on the back patio, enjoying this beautiful brisk evening, and typing away on a laptop - instead of going out and partying hard with people. That all being said, and my rejuvenation in passion for words - still brings me to the need for someone to hold me accountable. I've still got great friends like Claire and Jill who are super supportive and do constantly harp at me for not working more on the novel, but I can't expect either of them, or anyone else to have the desire in life to constantly be reading what I write, edit it for me, and then tell we what I need to work better on - especially not with the paycheck of zero dollars being my highest offer. Not too long ago, I was spending a good amount of time with a girl who did stage production and script supervising, and was somewhat of book-nerd herself. I thought that I had found the perfect person to help me, but she just never showed any interest in doing what I needed done. She offered to read it, but when I told what I was wanting help with, she just seemed to shy away from the idea. Which, was a quite a disappointment, I felt like she would have been good at motivating me.
I know I need to find self-motivation, and I'm partially hoping that these late-night writing sessions (as after as I can, because life does something still get in the way...) can begin to fuel that fire again, and get me back into the mindset of writing. The other major problem with "Perfect Life For Large Price" right now is how long I have taken away from it for so long, that I want and need to go back and re-read it all for myself. The only issue with that being: I'm finding ALL of the grammatical errors and things that I would be wanting this "editor" to find for me. So, instead of being able to read my novel and get deep into it again, I find myself re-writing the entire chapter. I want to reword this sentence, or I can say that in fewer words. Oh, I know where this is going now, I can do some more ominous foreshadowing with this character's dialogue... I remember a while ago (well over a year) I told Claire that I was going to get back to work on the novel. In the first week that I re-worked on it, all I got done was re-writing the first three chapters - and I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I start again. More changes, more edits. Yet, that's still more writing. That's still using words to tell my story, even if it's just altering the story that I've already been telling. So, I hope that one day I can find that person who just drives me to want to deliver my work to them, while they also help to motivate me with their attempts to making my work better. I'm sure it will happen someday, but until then, I have to make sure I can build up the desire in myself to do it for me.
I also had a really good conversation with Jason tonight - because I've been looking into some DSLRs and other higher-end camcorders with the intent of attempting to shoot some stuff in the near future. I told him that I'd like to complete a few short seven-to-ten page scripts that could be filmed with minimal actors and in very short periods of time (one or two days). Nothing difficult, nothing complex, just some simple stories that will hopefully be we written and we can get some talented people to deliver those words. Quick projects that I can edit myself and toss up on YouTube. I'm starting to kick around a few ideas for those. And knowing me, I'll probably do something that involves a bigger pictures that each short is just a cog in this larger puzzle of a connected world. Make one characters actions in one story somehow directly (or indirectly I suppose) affect what a character does in a different story. I tend to try to interweave stories a lot. Hence, most of scripts/stories always contain a character with the last name of McKenzie.
So, yeah. I've been failing at writing on here everyday, but that doesn't mean that the creative juices are not still flowing. I'm still trying to put my brainwaves back on the good path to being productive towards my dreams and not destructive towards my desires. I will right this mental ship sooner than later.
Talking about writing gets me excited about writing.
That, obviously went down the rabbit hole of sharing some personal thoughts and feelings on some of the projects I have had in the past, at various stages. Perhaps I shared too much, but someone once gave me the compliment of calling me "intrepid" and that something that I have attempted to hold myself up to. I write/say/do things that I probably shouldn't at times, but it's how I embrace life. I deal with the consequences later.
So, looking back on that previous post - I want to make sure that people also understand about me: I am proud of all of the stuff that I have written. Be it but one chapter, ten chapters, a whole script, or only 33 chapters of a novel. I love every character that I create in my mind and transfer into the words on a computer. All of those project did one important thing for me: they made me use my brain to create people, situations, interactions, and dialogue. It took those synapses and put my fingers to work making the words come alive on the screen. And I am most proud of the fact that I have completed 33 chapters of a SciFi novel, telling a story that I am very proud of.
Now, as far as "Perfect Life For Large Price" goes, I've hit a tough spot - and this is going to sound somewhat like a cop-out, but it's more just an evaluation of who I am. I need a driving force, and I've always wanted an "editor" for the novel. I've always wanted someone to read it after I wrote it, make some grammatical errors and corrections for me, tidy up some of the places where I talk too much, etc... When I was doing film work, I always had Jason or Zach in this role - "Where's the script?" or "Is the new scene done yet?" - I had people who I did not want to let down, thus it was my driving force. Same thing on editing those films, "I want to see the next scene, is it cut yet?" - and I would dedicate all my time to getting that done and ready for them to see. In the beginning of "Perfect Life For Large Price" I had a lot of people telling me there were reading it, I had a lot of people telling their friends to read it. I was getting some good page hits from all over the US, as people were recommending it on Facebook. And that drove me. That motivated me. The concept of delivering to these people, specifically my close friends. Everything was going on such a great pace, until the death of one of my best friends. That just rocked my world, shook me to the core, and made me stop caring about a lot of things. I lost my way, and it's taken me many years to get back to this point, where I'm more interested in sitting on the back patio, enjoying this beautiful brisk evening, and typing away on a laptop - instead of going out and partying hard with people. That all being said, and my rejuvenation in passion for words - still brings me to the need for someone to hold me accountable. I've still got great friends like Claire and Jill who are super supportive and do constantly harp at me for not working more on the novel, but I can't expect either of them, or anyone else to have the desire in life to constantly be reading what I write, edit it for me, and then tell we what I need to work better on - especially not with the paycheck of zero dollars being my highest offer. Not too long ago, I was spending a good amount of time with a girl who did stage production and script supervising, and was somewhat of book-nerd herself. I thought that I had found the perfect person to help me, but she just never showed any interest in doing what I needed done. She offered to read it, but when I told what I was wanting help with, she just seemed to shy away from the idea. Which, was a quite a disappointment, I felt like she would have been good at motivating me.
I know I need to find self-motivation, and I'm partially hoping that these late-night writing sessions (as after as I can, because life does something still get in the way...) can begin to fuel that fire again, and get me back into the mindset of writing. The other major problem with "Perfect Life For Large Price" right now is how long I have taken away from it for so long, that I want and need to go back and re-read it all for myself. The only issue with that being: I'm finding ALL of the grammatical errors and things that I would be wanting this "editor" to find for me. So, instead of being able to read my novel and get deep into it again, I find myself re-writing the entire chapter. I want to reword this sentence, or I can say that in fewer words. Oh, I know where this is going now, I can do some more ominous foreshadowing with this character's dialogue... I remember a while ago (well over a year) I told Claire that I was going to get back to work on the novel. In the first week that I re-worked on it, all I got done was re-writing the first three chapters - and I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I start again. More changes, more edits. Yet, that's still more writing. That's still using words to tell my story, even if it's just altering the story that I've already been telling. So, I hope that one day I can find that person who just drives me to want to deliver my work to them, while they also help to motivate me with their attempts to making my work better. I'm sure it will happen someday, but until then, I have to make sure I can build up the desire in myself to do it for me.
I also had a really good conversation with Jason tonight - because I've been looking into some DSLRs and other higher-end camcorders with the intent of attempting to shoot some stuff in the near future. I told him that I'd like to complete a few short seven-to-ten page scripts that could be filmed with minimal actors and in very short periods of time (one or two days). Nothing difficult, nothing complex, just some simple stories that will hopefully be we written and we can get some talented people to deliver those words. Quick projects that I can edit myself and toss up on YouTube. I'm starting to kick around a few ideas for those. And knowing me, I'll probably do something that involves a bigger pictures that each short is just a cog in this larger puzzle of a connected world. Make one characters actions in one story somehow directly (or indirectly I suppose) affect what a character does in a different story. I tend to try to interweave stories a lot. Hence, most of scripts/stories always contain a character with the last name of McKenzie.
So, yeah. I've been failing at writing on here everyday, but that doesn't mean that the creative juices are not still flowing. I'm still trying to put my brainwaves back on the good path to being productive towards my dreams and not destructive towards my desires. I will right this mental ship sooner than later.
Talking about writing gets me excited about writing.
Thursday, July 03, 2014
Chapter One and Done???
Based on a recent comment and some personal "soul searching", I have hit a very awkward questioning point in my life. I have always enjoyed the producing aspect of all of the films that I am worked on - but the truth be told, I always consider myself a storyteller.
I like to tell stories. I like to create characters and make people become emotionally invested in them. I love the various story-telling aspects that evoke emotions on different levels. I love the ability to connect with a reader on multiple plains and garner responses not previously considered.
As much as I love producing films for other people - and making their dreams a reality... I, Shane M. White, am a storyteller. I have so many stories that I want to tell. And ina recent response to a comment, it was brought to my attention where I stand with all of that.
I have so many ideas. Some good, some bad, some silly, some dumb, some crazy, some ridiculous, some convoluted. I have an odd sense of humor, and much of my love for comedy is not always received by the masses. I grew up watching "SNL" and "Flying Circus" repeats on Comedy Central. I watched "Weekend Update" clips more religiously than actual news broadcasts. I created a ery harbored and sheltered meta-world where my mind lived.
After saying that, I have tons of ideas and concepts that enter my brain every single day. And most of them are lame, and implausible. But, sometimes I think I've struck something brilliant, something genius. A concept that I can run with. And in a recent comment, I admitted to the fact that I have seven "Chapter Ones" completed.
What does that mean?
It means, aside from all of my other stories - I have seven ideas that I have sat down and written the first chapter of their lives. I've given the Genesis Device to seven ideas, and let them begin to Terra Form. I've laid the base-level groundwork for seven attempts at a full story. Seven times, I have done this - and failed to do anything else.
First up, let's address "Grinchby" - it's three (maybe four?) years in the making. It is essentially the story of "A Christmas Carol" told through a semi-well-to-do man who learns his local bar is closing, while he is home over Christmas, visiting family. While he attempts to avoid his family and soak in as much alcohol as he can, two women from his past come through the doors, at the same time that the owner reveals to him that they are closing that night because of being behind on their mortgage. Benjamin Grinchby then spends the night confronting his demons of past relationships, with his future of potential investments both in the bar and in the girl who got away. It's a modern day version for the love-struck male. Women from his past discus their relationship and allow him to reflect on his current girlfriend, while realizing the high school sweetheart who is still an option. And whie all of his personal drama plays out, he wants nothing more than to save the bar he worked at a decade ago. It's a story about love, loss, and loyalty. And one that may never be finished.
I'll take a fe seconds to address one big thing in my life - Cameron Crowe and his works, have forever been a resounding statement in my mind. Not only for story-telling but for emotional resonance. The truth, the heart, the emotion, the feelings. Those are the things that a teenage Shane feel in love with. I was on a date in 1997 with a girl names Amber at Sony Cherry Tree on Washington Street, when we watched "Jerry Maguire" together, and it changed my perception of so many things - granted it hurt our relationship because she didn't buy into all of the things I felt that I needed to change, but we had a good friendship post-break-up that eventually let to a re-kindling that I ruined - later leading me to revelation that I just refuse to accept any happiness in any relationship.
Even when those relationships should only be considered as platonic, I still managed to over-analyze them into stupidity, and then try to write about it. Which led to...
"Waited on a Line of Green and Blues".
Green with Envy.
Blue with Sadness.
It is the story of a bartender, who every single night, a fellow industry server comes into his bar and she sits down to eat and drink and spend more time away from her boyfriend. Because that guy, is a douchebag. He's not a good guy. He treats her badly and takes advantage of her awesomeness. Thus, our "hero" protagonist is forced to deal with a quandary each night. This amazing woman, is selling herself short by being with this lame ass-clown of a boyfriend. How does he make her realize that she is better than what she is settling for? How does he convince her that she deserves better from man? Better... like him! And from the female perspective, when do you even consider a guy as as more than friend? Why does he have to treat you badly to reach that desirable state?
Over the last months I moved into my friend Lindsay's House and have begun a new chapter of my life. During that move, I threw away A LOT of my past. I threw away a lot of things that I had been holding onto as dear moment from my past. Lots of pictures, lost of notes and letters from ex-girlfriends, lost of nostalgic memorabilia from "that Indy 500 that we went to together" or "that Oscar Party we went to together" - it was a major purging of a lot of things. The one thing that survived it all, was the notes and story ideas that I wrote down from it all. And there was LOTS of them. Many ideas/concepts that I had for comedies and dramas. I always drew from personal experiences when writing. In the vein of Stand-Up Comedy, I wanted to write things that people could relate to. If it made you laugh, I wanted it to be funny. If it made you sad, I wanted it to be because you were reflecting on your own failures and where you could have made your life better. I evoking emotions on an audiences. Maybe it is a bad thing, but it's how I want to connect with people. Let's connect through loss, heart-ache and pain! Because those are the emotions that eveyone speaks.
In 2000, I wrote a script titled "All Good Things..."
The title was a play on the finale of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" in which Q (my favorite character!) tells Jean-Luc Picard, "All good things must come to an end". A pathetic idea that I associated with many of my relationships in the early 20-something years of my life. This script in particular was written about a very special woman in my life. And it's sad to realize that I was only romanticizing about her. She was a wonderful woman, and someone that still holds a very special place in my heart. But at that point in each of our lives - we just were not on the same page. Despite her amazing passion for film-making (which was exactly why I was so beyond attracted to the mental comprehension of creating a visual medium) we just didn't work out on an emotional level. And when writing this script, I was very angry and very dejected and attacked a lot of things about her personality. It was only YEARS later that I considered - "Maybe its time to make this film?" - when I realized, that I sabotaged everything. And I do not mean the script - I mean our relationship from day one. I injected an emotional virus into whatever we tried to build together - because that's what I thought I needed.
Case in point: My first film "Consternate" that I wrote with Jason L. Maier. My character, the main character, had to get in a few fights with his girlfriend. How did I accomplish writing that? I purposely got into arguments with my girlfriend, so that I could take those fights and create dialogue from them. It wasn't until I crossed the line, she broke up with me, and moved on - before I realized what was going on. I always thought that I could get her back - but I was very wrong. Thus, in a very sad - and very pathetic way - the girl who played my girlfriend in "Consternate" was just being an extension of the girl who broke up with me - because I was writing "Consternate" based on our fights.
It brings me to an awkward point in my life - wondering if I am really the storyteller that I have always claimed to be. Do I rally have stories to tell? Or are all of my stories simply manifestations of the failed relationships that I have allowed myself to be a part of? Because, if that's the case - then my next story is going to a very awkward and bizarre tale about losing a good friend over his sister. And I'm really not sure that's a story I need to make available to world - nor do I think the world would care.
Can I tell a non-personal story?
Can I just create characters and environments for them to inhabit?
Or will I forever be doomed to have such a lack of creativity - that I am reduced to enhancing failed relationships into concepts that people can relate to? Is every story of mine just a pathetic extension of some female who rejected me? Can I only write about love and loss?
I have seven "Chapter Ones" written. Some of them are online, most of them are not.
I have a lot to consider, when it comes to my writing - and what I think I can accomplish.
I have stories I want to tell.
Can I dis-associate myself enough to make them interesting?
Can I actually commit to finishing any of them?
I'm a creature of positive re-enforcement.
"Perfect Life For Large Price" was most productive when people talked to me about it regularly. I posted all of those chapters to garner interest. And for a short period, it was there. Only three or four people really cared, but when they were all texting me and begging me for the next bit of the story - that is what drove me. I need that motivation. I need that acceptance. I need someone giving me positive reinforcement. That helps me write, and helps me want to deliver for people. When that desire ceased, so did my passion for writing. And that's pathetic. But that's how I mentally function. I know its wrong, but I cannot fix it. I wish I could.
Wrapping up, I will address "Forever Got a Lot Shorter". This was a script I first wrote in 2001, that was a throwback to "St. Elmo's Fire". At that point, I had just returned from L.A. and was dealing with some personal situations. My friend Zach's Father had passed away while I lived in L.A., and this was a man who was a second father to me - so i had to deal with not being there for Zach and how that affected our friendship. On top of that, I returned home to my friend Jason being head-over-heals in love with the bitch who took his virginity. A woman I didn't get along with, that caused much strife and grief between Jason and I. So, I started writing a story treatment about feeling like all my friends moved on without me being around.
That script is in hell, and will never be touched again - but I bring it up because of where it plays into my current life. Zach, is happily married with two beautiful girls, while Jason is happily married with two sons and a daughter. And then there is Shane. The guy who rarely gets to ever be a part of either of their lives. And while I've considered writing "Chapter One" of my depressing story about not only failing at my marriage, the lack of children, and the lack of ability to be present in my best friend's children's lives, I'm happy to have the mindset to know that attempting to tell a story like that, would be as productive as finishing any of the scripts that I wrote when I was twenty-ish years old.
More often than not, it's a better idea to make up something ridiculous and insane for a story - than to pull from real life. I am not Cameron Crowe, and I need to stop trying to emulate his ability to emotionally invest people in ordinary lives. I also am not Kevin Smith. And many of the people named (or insinuated) in this entry will attest to my failed attempts to create scripts that mirrored what he did in his early career. Basically, I am realizing and accepting that I spent far too much of my life trying to re-create the success of others - but using my own life-failings - and that was just pathetic.
I need to figure out the story I want to tell.
I need to decide if that's a short story, that I need to buy the equipment to film.
Or if it's a new feature that I'm going to have to start over at rock-bottom to produce?
I just realized that I never touched on the "Garage Band" script that Matt Cicci and I wrote, that I later wanted to turn into a stage musical.
I have a lot of notebooks.
I have a lot of stories.
I have to find the one that people will actually care to read.
I like to tell stories. I like to create characters and make people become emotionally invested in them. I love the various story-telling aspects that evoke emotions on different levels. I love the ability to connect with a reader on multiple plains and garner responses not previously considered.
As much as I love producing films for other people - and making their dreams a reality... I, Shane M. White, am a storyteller. I have so many stories that I want to tell. And ina recent response to a comment, it was brought to my attention where I stand with all of that.
I have so many ideas. Some good, some bad, some silly, some dumb, some crazy, some ridiculous, some convoluted. I have an odd sense of humor, and much of my love for comedy is not always received by the masses. I grew up watching "SNL" and "Flying Circus" repeats on Comedy Central. I watched "Weekend Update" clips more religiously than actual news broadcasts. I created a ery harbored and sheltered meta-world where my mind lived.
After saying that, I have tons of ideas and concepts that enter my brain every single day. And most of them are lame, and implausible. But, sometimes I think I've struck something brilliant, something genius. A concept that I can run with. And in a recent comment, I admitted to the fact that I have seven "Chapter Ones" completed.
What does that mean?
It means, aside from all of my other stories - I have seven ideas that I have sat down and written the first chapter of their lives. I've given the Genesis Device to seven ideas, and let them begin to Terra Form. I've laid the base-level groundwork for seven attempts at a full story. Seven times, I have done this - and failed to do anything else.
First up, let's address "Grinchby" - it's three (maybe four?) years in the making. It is essentially the story of "A Christmas Carol" told through a semi-well-to-do man who learns his local bar is closing, while he is home over Christmas, visiting family. While he attempts to avoid his family and soak in as much alcohol as he can, two women from his past come through the doors, at the same time that the owner reveals to him that they are closing that night because of being behind on their mortgage. Benjamin Grinchby then spends the night confronting his demons of past relationships, with his future of potential investments both in the bar and in the girl who got away. It's a modern day version for the love-struck male. Women from his past discus their relationship and allow him to reflect on his current girlfriend, while realizing the high school sweetheart who is still an option. And whie all of his personal drama plays out, he wants nothing more than to save the bar he worked at a decade ago. It's a story about love, loss, and loyalty. And one that may never be finished.
I'll take a fe seconds to address one big thing in my life - Cameron Crowe and his works, have forever been a resounding statement in my mind. Not only for story-telling but for emotional resonance. The truth, the heart, the emotion, the feelings. Those are the things that a teenage Shane feel in love with. I was on a date in 1997 with a girl names Amber at Sony Cherry Tree on Washington Street, when we watched "Jerry Maguire" together, and it changed my perception of so many things - granted it hurt our relationship because she didn't buy into all of the things I felt that I needed to change, but we had a good friendship post-break-up that eventually let to a re-kindling that I ruined - later leading me to revelation that I just refuse to accept any happiness in any relationship.
Even when those relationships should only be considered as platonic, I still managed to over-analyze them into stupidity, and then try to write about it. Which led to...
"Waited on a Line of Green and Blues".
Green with Envy.
Blue with Sadness.
It is the story of a bartender, who every single night, a fellow industry server comes into his bar and she sits down to eat and drink and spend more time away from her boyfriend. Because that guy, is a douchebag. He's not a good guy. He treats her badly and takes advantage of her awesomeness. Thus, our "hero" protagonist is forced to deal with a quandary each night. This amazing woman, is selling herself short by being with this lame ass-clown of a boyfriend. How does he make her realize that she is better than what she is settling for? How does he convince her that she deserves better from man? Better... like him! And from the female perspective, when do you even consider a guy as as more than friend? Why does he have to treat you badly to reach that desirable state?
In 2000, I wrote a script titled "All Good Things..."
The title was a play on the finale of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" in which Q (my favorite character!) tells Jean-Luc Picard, "All good things must come to an end". A pathetic idea that I associated with many of my relationships in the early 20-something years of my life. This script in particular was written about a very special woman in my life. And it's sad to realize that I was only romanticizing about her. She was a wonderful woman, and someone that still holds a very special place in my heart. But at that point in each of our lives - we just were not on the same page. Despite her amazing passion for film-making (which was exactly why I was so beyond attracted to the mental comprehension of creating a visual medium) we just didn't work out on an emotional level. And when writing this script, I was very angry and very dejected and attacked a lot of things about her personality. It was only YEARS later that I considered - "Maybe its time to make this film?" - when I realized, that I sabotaged everything. And I do not mean the script - I mean our relationship from day one. I injected an emotional virus into whatever we tried to build together - because that's what I thought I needed.
Case in point: My first film "Consternate" that I wrote with Jason L. Maier. My character, the main character, had to get in a few fights with his girlfriend. How did I accomplish writing that? I purposely got into arguments with my girlfriend, so that I could take those fights and create dialogue from them. It wasn't until I crossed the line, she broke up with me, and moved on - before I realized what was going on. I always thought that I could get her back - but I was very wrong. Thus, in a very sad - and very pathetic way - the girl who played my girlfriend in "Consternate" was just being an extension of the girl who broke up with me - because I was writing "Consternate" based on our fights.
It brings me to an awkward point in my life - wondering if I am really the storyteller that I have always claimed to be. Do I rally have stories to tell? Or are all of my stories simply manifestations of the failed relationships that I have allowed myself to be a part of? Because, if that's the case - then my next story is going to a very awkward and bizarre tale about losing a good friend over his sister. And I'm really not sure that's a story I need to make available to world - nor do I think the world would care.
Can I tell a non-personal story?
Can I just create characters and environments for them to inhabit?
Or will I forever be doomed to have such a lack of creativity - that I am reduced to enhancing failed relationships into concepts that people can relate to? Is every story of mine just a pathetic extension of some female who rejected me? Can I only write about love and loss?
I have seven "Chapter Ones" written. Some of them are online, most of them are not.
I have a lot to consider, when it comes to my writing - and what I think I can accomplish.
I have stories I want to tell.
Can I dis-associate myself enough to make them interesting?
Can I actually commit to finishing any of them?
I'm a creature of positive re-enforcement.
"Perfect Life For Large Price" was most productive when people talked to me about it regularly. I posted all of those chapters to garner interest. And for a short period, it was there. Only three or four people really cared, but when they were all texting me and begging me for the next bit of the story - that is what drove me. I need that motivation. I need that acceptance. I need someone giving me positive reinforcement. That helps me write, and helps me want to deliver for people. When that desire ceased, so did my passion for writing. And that's pathetic. But that's how I mentally function. I know its wrong, but I cannot fix it. I wish I could.
Wrapping up, I will address "Forever Got a Lot Shorter". This was a script I first wrote in 2001, that was a throwback to "St. Elmo's Fire". At that point, I had just returned from L.A. and was dealing with some personal situations. My friend Zach's Father had passed away while I lived in L.A., and this was a man who was a second father to me - so i had to deal with not being there for Zach and how that affected our friendship. On top of that, I returned home to my friend Jason being head-over-heals in love with the bitch who took his virginity. A woman I didn't get along with, that caused much strife and grief between Jason and I. So, I started writing a story treatment about feeling like all my friends moved on without me being around.
That script is in hell, and will never be touched again - but I bring it up because of where it plays into my current life. Zach, is happily married with two beautiful girls, while Jason is happily married with two sons and a daughter. And then there is Shane. The guy who rarely gets to ever be a part of either of their lives. And while I've considered writing "Chapter One" of my depressing story about not only failing at my marriage, the lack of children, and the lack of ability to be present in my best friend's children's lives, I'm happy to have the mindset to know that attempting to tell a story like that, would be as productive as finishing any of the scripts that I wrote when I was twenty-ish years old.
More often than not, it's a better idea to make up something ridiculous and insane for a story - than to pull from real life. I am not Cameron Crowe, and I need to stop trying to emulate his ability to emotionally invest people in ordinary lives. I also am not Kevin Smith. And many of the people named (or insinuated) in this entry will attest to my failed attempts to create scripts that mirrored what he did in his early career. Basically, I am realizing and accepting that I spent far too much of my life trying to re-create the success of others - but using my own life-failings - and that was just pathetic.
I need to figure out the story I want to tell.
I need to decide if that's a short story, that I need to buy the equipment to film.
Or if it's a new feature that I'm going to have to start over at rock-bottom to produce?
I just realized that I never touched on the "Garage Band" script that Matt Cicci and I wrote, that I later wanted to turn into a stage musical.
I have a lot of notebooks.
I have a lot of stories.
I have to find the one that people will actually care to read.
Why I Didn't Write Yesterday
Technically, there's no real excuse for this, I should have gotten myself onto the computer in the morning, but I was busy getting ready for the day and watching as much of the Argentina match as I could - yep, those are excuses.
But, the reason I did not find the time to write anything in the evening was because I spent the majority of the day in downtown Indy on Mass. Ave. watching the USA v Belgium World Cup Round of 16 Match.
First, here is a picture of what things looked like two hours before kick off...
Yeah, even that early, we were pretty deep into the crowd and it only kept getting worse. By the time the match started, things looked a little more like this...
So, we got downtown about 1:30pm, made our way to Mass Ave, parked our chairs in the middle of the street, had a few beers, and got to know our new neighbors that we would spend the next few hours cheering with. We got to watch the end of the Argentina v Switzerland match, which was a wonderful nil-nil draw that went into extra time, and honestly was hoping to see it go into a PK shoot out, but alas Argentina wasn't too keen on that idea. Which doesn't disappoint me, I really think Leo Messi is the greatest player in the world, and I'm happy to see them move on, despite the fact that they eliminated Xherdan Shaqiri - who plays for Bayern Munich.
We then had some time to kill, which was filled by putting all of our chairs into a nice circle and just hanging out, while also having a few friends stop by on their way to meet up with other people. It was a very nice and friendly vibe all around, I didn't see anyone out of control or angry or any fights of any kind. All of the people around us were just really personable and friendly and we all had a really good time and experience. I really enjoy communal situations like that, and was so happy that things went so smoothly.
It was a sad end to the US run in this World Cup. I felt like they played really good during regular time, and then I don't know what happened - perhaps heat exhaustion - during the extra time, but it was pretty disappointing. The first goal was legit, but I feel like the second one should not have gone in, and that would have been a nice goal to tie by Julian Green. As much I want to place blame on Jürgen Klinsmann, I don't think he did a whole wrong in the match from a coaching standpoint. Although perhaps some of his choices for the defense could be called into question. I think whatever gaps the US had fixed in their back line after Germany, seemed to fall apart. If you want to see a nice collection of all 16 saves that Tim Howard did make, here's a good video...
Post match, a few of us did our best to help clean up the street, because it was pretty trashed.
All in all, it was an extremely long day and I was just beyond exhausted by the time I got home, and was dealing with the humility of the fact that I have some seriously ridiculous tan lines on my face and my arms. I'm not sure how I didn't process the fact that spending seven hours outside in the sun was going to have serious repercussions on my skin? Luckily, I did have a good enough base of color, that I'm not terribly burnt aside from my head. My arms just look funny.
So, there we have it. That's my story about the lack of writing anything yesterday.
But, the reason I did not find the time to write anything in the evening was because I spent the majority of the day in downtown Indy on Mass. Ave. watching the USA v Belgium World Cup Round of 16 Match.
First, here is a picture of what things looked like two hours before kick off...
Yeah, even that early, we were pretty deep into the crowd and it only kept getting worse. By the time the match started, things looked a little more like this...
So, we got downtown about 1:30pm, made our way to Mass Ave, parked our chairs in the middle of the street, had a few beers, and got to know our new neighbors that we would spend the next few hours cheering with. We got to watch the end of the Argentina v Switzerland match, which was a wonderful nil-nil draw that went into extra time, and honestly was hoping to see it go into a PK shoot out, but alas Argentina wasn't too keen on that idea. Which doesn't disappoint me, I really think Leo Messi is the greatest player in the world, and I'm happy to see them move on, despite the fact that they eliminated Xherdan Shaqiri - who plays for Bayern Munich.
We then had some time to kill, which was filled by putting all of our chairs into a nice circle and just hanging out, while also having a few friends stop by on their way to meet up with other people. It was a very nice and friendly vibe all around, I didn't see anyone out of control or angry or any fights of any kind. All of the people around us were just really personable and friendly and we all had a really good time and experience. I really enjoy communal situations like that, and was so happy that things went so smoothly.
It was a sad end to the US run in this World Cup. I felt like they played really good during regular time, and then I don't know what happened - perhaps heat exhaustion - during the extra time, but it was pretty disappointing. The first goal was legit, but I feel like the second one should not have gone in, and that would have been a nice goal to tie by Julian Green. As much I want to place blame on Jürgen Klinsmann, I don't think he did a whole wrong in the match from a coaching standpoint. Although perhaps some of his choices for the defense could be called into question. I think whatever gaps the US had fixed in their back line after Germany, seemed to fall apart. If you want to see a nice collection of all 16 saves that Tim Howard did make, here's a good video...
Post match, a few of us did our best to help clean up the street, because it was pretty trashed.
All in all, it was an extremely long day and I was just beyond exhausted by the time I got home, and was dealing with the humility of the fact that I have some seriously ridiculous tan lines on my face and my arms. I'm not sure how I didn't process the fact that spending seven hours outside in the sun was going to have serious repercussions on my skin? Luckily, I did have a good enough base of color, that I'm not terribly burnt aside from my head. My arms just look funny.
So, there we have it. That's my story about the lack of writing anything yesterday.
Tuesday, July 01, 2014
World Cup Sketch: Unbeatable Russians Comedy Pitch
Two really good matches were played in the World Cup today, and Germany won! Which made for a good day. Tomorrow, I'm heading downtown to join in a block party viewing party for US Men's National match against Belgium - should be a really fun time.
With all the World Cup watching I've been doing, I have this comedy concept brewing in my head. The genesis happened when I was watching a Russian match, and it got me to thinking about the Russians of the past: The 1960s Basketball Teams and the Hockey Teams of the 70s and 80s. It got me thinking about the idea of in the mid-1940s, the Russian Soccer team loses a match, and then a firing squad comes out and kills all the members of the team and coaching staff. The Russian Federation then announces that anytime their team loses, their entire team will be executed. Every match that they play, there is an eleven-man firing squad waiting on the sideline.
For the next 70 years, Russia wins everything that they compete in. Every Olympics and every World Cup, always ends with a Russian victory, because every other team is afraid of winning and being held responsible for the murders of the Russian squad. This leads to Russian players staying on the team far longer than they ever should. They end up with fifty and sixty year old players - like a 60 year old goalkeeper, who is almost always out of position and the opposing strikers purposely miss. It's just a pointless and depressing event to be a part of, but FIFA won't do anything to change it.
Finally, in a complete accident, an opposing goalkeeper attempts to kick the ball clear and it goes all the way down the pitch, bounces over the elderly players and despite his own teammates attempting to prevent the goal - they still score and Russia loses 0-1. As the tension builds and mounts, the firing squad members just drop the guns and walk away. Revealing that the entire "We're going to kill our team" was just a Russian Ruse to help this win so many trophies over all the years! They also reveal that the original murders were all staged, and those members are alive and well, living in a soccer convent where all they do is watch matches and play foosball all day long.
It's a very cheesy concept - but something that I feel was very SNL sketch inspired.
That was my creative brainstorm for today!
With all the World Cup watching I've been doing, I have this comedy concept brewing in my head. The genesis happened when I was watching a Russian match, and it got me to thinking about the Russians of the past: The 1960s Basketball Teams and the Hockey Teams of the 70s and 80s. It got me thinking about the idea of in the mid-1940s, the Russian Soccer team loses a match, and then a firing squad comes out and kills all the members of the team and coaching staff. The Russian Federation then announces that anytime their team loses, their entire team will be executed. Every match that they play, there is an eleven-man firing squad waiting on the sideline.
For the next 70 years, Russia wins everything that they compete in. Every Olympics and every World Cup, always ends with a Russian victory, because every other team is afraid of winning and being held responsible for the murders of the Russian squad. This leads to Russian players staying on the team far longer than they ever should. They end up with fifty and sixty year old players - like a 60 year old goalkeeper, who is almost always out of position and the opposing strikers purposely miss. It's just a pointless and depressing event to be a part of, but FIFA won't do anything to change it.
Finally, in a complete accident, an opposing goalkeeper attempts to kick the ball clear and it goes all the way down the pitch, bounces over the elderly players and despite his own teammates attempting to prevent the goal - they still score and Russia loses 0-1. As the tension builds and mounts, the firing squad members just drop the guns and walk away. Revealing that the entire "We're going to kill our team" was just a Russian Ruse to help this win so many trophies over all the years! They also reveal that the original murders were all staged, and those members are alive and well, living in a soccer convent where all they do is watch matches and play foosball all day long.
It's a very cheesy concept - but something that I feel was very SNL sketch inspired.
That was my creative brainstorm for today!
Monday, June 30, 2014
Let's Catch Up and Commit to the Future
August 20th, 2011 was almost three years ago.
If you look on my post from that day, it discussed how this blog had expanded to over 2000+ posts, and how I realized just how convoluted the majority of them were, so I cut it down by ninety percent to 200 posts. I didn't realize at that time, that I also beginning to cut down my presence here all together. Over the next few months, my only status updates involved when I published a new chapter in my novel (posts which have mostly been removed, because they just don't matter now) or posts discussing the progress of my character in the video game "Star Wars The Old Republic" (posts which have also been removed now, because who really cares?!?).
With all of that said, I've hit a point in my life where I am pretty unhappy - and I don't really have a reason to be like this. Therefore, in an attempt to change my mental state, I'm attempting to commit myself to writing something everyday - and once again using this blog as a place to do it. Unlike year ago, I don't mean writing "Bayern Munich scores, Bastian Schweinsteiger was awesome!" and going into match details. I legitimately mean that I am going to attempt to create some kind of content to post here each day. It might be a film review, or a discussion of TV series, or a recap of some event that I recently went to. It might be a bunch of pictures that I go out and take one day, or it might be story concept for books or movies I'd love to create. Something. Anything. Something to make my mind work and my fingers type. For far too long, I am told people that I was a writer. I wrote films, I wrote novels (none of which I ever finished), I wrote short stories. I claimed to be a writer, but then I also feel into the glorified lifestyle I expected from being a writer. The lifestyle of Hunter S. Thompson or Jack Kerouac, that debaucherous self-indulgent larger-than-life consumption that I thought I required to improve my writing. Even now, as I sit here outside on the back patio listening to the sounds of the night, I had to open a beer to be my writing crutch. But it's a double-edged sword lifestyle, because those late night have led to many mornings and days that I didn't want to get out of bed, and just chose to be lethargic and complacent to not accomplishing anything with my day.
I need a change, this is will hopefully be my fresh start.
I need a new place to vent. My decline in writing blogs was very much influenced by my joining Facebook. This blog was MY PLACE, my place to put up pictures of my life and where I went on vacation. I could talk about sports. I could talk about movies I liked and link to trailers that I wanted to share with my friends. Every single one of those uses where packaged together and sold to me in the form of Facebook. One stop shop. One place to do everything I just talked about - and be ever connected to all of my friends. While this blog was my place, it required people to go out of their way to hear my voice, or it required me to solicit people to pop their heads in see what I wanted to share. Facebook didn't require that, it gave the people what I wanted them to see. And thus, I started using status updates to convey my thoughts, and basically delivered watered-down CliffsNotes versions of what I wanted to talk about. I've been doing my best to limit my presence on Facebook. I feel that it's becoming very overwhelming and too much of an addiction. Twice in the last three years, I've taken sabbaticals from Facebook. Both lasted less than a month, and in those times I learned how much Facebook controlled my life. I couldn't see my IMDb ratings - because all 2000+ of them were linked to my Facebook account. And this isn't an Anti-Facebook thing in any way, this was just a personal moment where I learned how addicted to it I was, and I wanted to step away, back up and make sure I could still live my life without - but it is difficult.
I recently had my thirty-fourth birthday, which was a day that I honestly never expected that I would hit. I was seventeen years old when Chris Farley died, and in my teenage years, I was a very huge fan of Saturday Night Live. Comedy Central re-ran the late 80s and early 90s ones, and every Saturday night I would set up the VCR to record the current one. I was obsessed with Sandler, Myers, Carvey, Spade, Farley, MacDonald, Schneider, Nealon, and so many others. So, the death of Chris Farley really hit me hard and I didn't know how to deal with. I felt that at 17, I was having a mid-life crisis, which meant that I too would die at the age of 33. It was a recurring fear that somehow managed to plant its seed in my subconscious, where it continued to grow and grow for years to come, leading me to make some pretty foolish life choices along the way, thinking that it would not matter in the near future. I've now crossed this bridge, accepted that my life will still be going on, and I need to start coming to terms with a lot of the fallout from these life choices. I lack a college education, I lack career that I enjoy, and I need to seriously work on my health.
I've gotten lazy in my life. Very lazy. I've been more than happy to come home, pop down on the couch, eat some junk food and watch stuff on the television all night. That's not to say that I lack a social life, or don't go out. But, more often than not, I'll spend my free time sitting around doing nothing filling my brain with more and more entertainment value than anything else, and that's a currency that isn't worth very much. I need to change that. I recently moved, and the only downside to my move was that at my old apartment, I had come up with a nice four mile loop around the neighborhood for me to walk my dog and listen to a Nerdist Podcast each night - as the four miles took almost exactly an hour to complete, the timing was almost always perfect. In the last month, I not longer walk those four miles a day. As previously stated, I spend a lot of time on the couch, watching television or movies while spending hours playing my Star Wars game or Words With Friends, or any other number of iOS based games that were addictive and required hours of my time. And I was happy with it, so happy that my XBOX rarely gets used anymore. Every now and then I'll kick it on to knock out another level or two or a game, but what used to take up hours of my night - playing Halo with many of my friends - has almost completely been replaced. Since my move, I've been cutting back my video game playing, but not replacing the time with anything productive. That's something that needs to change.
Change. That seems to be the mantra I'm going for in this post-thirty-four lifestyle. I need change, and some big ones. First, is my commitment to this blog, and writing again. Someday I need to get back to work on "Perfect Life For Large Price". Sadly, working on it hit a major roadblock at a bad point in my life, and I don't try hard enough to push past that. I'm also realizing how much I am allowing my current employment to mentally drain me. It's very hard for me to work with some of the people I have to work with, and that mentally drains me. I want to be successful, I want to help make my place of employment successful, but when bitching and complaining are all I hear non-stop, it makes it too easy to tune it out and stop caring. I need to work for positive and motivational people - not people who love focusing on the negative and complain about how things aren't done perfectly to their liking, despite getting the job done more efficiently. My current place of employment take a serious mental toll on me that it shouldn't - but I was raised with a very solid work ethic, that causes me to feel guilty about not trying my hardest. I've tried riding it out as long as I could, I really enjoy the company and they take good care of me - but that is something that is in my control to change, and I need to make something happen. I need to find a job that I'm not only passionate about, but one that can help make me feel productive in this world.
And speaking of this world - I want to travel more. I was lucky enough to spend my birthday in Arizona with two great friends and even met Nathan Fillion that day! It was a wonderful time, and so relaxing to be free from the burdens of normal life. This trip was also something that wasn't as plausible before the move I keep talking about. I've been lucky enough to move into a house owned by a good friend of mine,and she has two dogs of her own. I loved living alone, it was very nice and it gave me a serious sense of accomplishment in life, being able to be self-sufficient. However, the financial burden was taking a serious toll on me, and I had to be extra responsible for taking care of the life of my puppy. All of that changed with this move. I now have the luxury of an amazing roommate, who is more than willing to help in the care of my dog, along with her own. I am also blessed to have greatly reduced my living expenses - which will allow for some more freedom in traveling.
Travel. Travel. Travel. It's what I have always loved, and I've been somewhat inspired by what my friend Mandie recently did. After being laid off from her corporate job, she packed up to travel the world and BLOG ABOUT IT. Now, I'm not to think that I could make that same jump at this point in my life, but I have been inspired to attempt to do more to see the world. I've toyed with the idea of looking into working for a cruise line or an airline. I'm always a little slow and hesitant with making large life choices - which is odd, because I'll do the most impulsive and insane things in the moment - but something like this I always wade in slowly with reservations. I'm poking my head around the internet and seeing what jobs are out there, and what I might think I'd like to try to do. I'm also a person who gets very dejected over rejection, and that causes me to be much more careful and selective in what I attempt to pursue, most likely to a fault.
I have already failed at my 2014 New Year's Resolution.
However, I now am putting for a few new things for me to try.
1. Write something. Every. Day.
2. Travel. Visit friends in other cities. Go to a European country soon.
3. Find a way to get paid for either writing or traveling. Make a future built on doing something I am passionate about for a living.
So, hopefully this site will begin to be populated with some original short stories, ideas, concepts, anything I'm thinking about potentially turning into a project. Or maybe just a quick update on a project of some other kind that I am working on. There are more definitely going to be film reviews. I need to exercise my mind and my fingers just as much as I need to get on a bike or a treadmill.
I just spend ninety minutes writing, but I created 2100 words that were previously just floating around in my brain. I gave them a home. And the more words I give homes to, the more free space I have to come up with new words to put together. I hope I can stick with this.
If you look on my post from that day, it discussed how this blog had expanded to over 2000+ posts, and how I realized just how convoluted the majority of them were, so I cut it down by ninety percent to 200 posts. I didn't realize at that time, that I also beginning to cut down my presence here all together. Over the next few months, my only status updates involved when I published a new chapter in my novel (posts which have mostly been removed, because they just don't matter now) or posts discussing the progress of my character in the video game "Star Wars The Old Republic" (posts which have also been removed now, because who really cares?!?).
With all of that said, I've hit a point in my life where I am pretty unhappy - and I don't really have a reason to be like this. Therefore, in an attempt to change my mental state, I'm attempting to commit myself to writing something everyday - and once again using this blog as a place to do it. Unlike year ago, I don't mean writing "Bayern Munich scores, Bastian Schweinsteiger was awesome!" and going into match details. I legitimately mean that I am going to attempt to create some kind of content to post here each day. It might be a film review, or a discussion of TV series, or a recap of some event that I recently went to. It might be a bunch of pictures that I go out and take one day, or it might be story concept for books or movies I'd love to create. Something. Anything. Something to make my mind work and my fingers type. For far too long, I am told people that I was a writer. I wrote films, I wrote novels (none of which I ever finished), I wrote short stories. I claimed to be a writer, but then I also feel into the glorified lifestyle I expected from being a writer. The lifestyle of Hunter S. Thompson or Jack Kerouac, that debaucherous self-indulgent larger-than-life consumption that I thought I required to improve my writing. Even now, as I sit here outside on the back patio listening to the sounds of the night, I had to open a beer to be my writing crutch. But it's a double-edged sword lifestyle, because those late night have led to many mornings and days that I didn't want to get out of bed, and just chose to be lethargic and complacent to not accomplishing anything with my day.
I need a change, this is will hopefully be my fresh start.
I need a new place to vent. My decline in writing blogs was very much influenced by my joining Facebook. This blog was MY PLACE, my place to put up pictures of my life and where I went on vacation. I could talk about sports. I could talk about movies I liked and link to trailers that I wanted to share with my friends. Every single one of those uses where packaged together and sold to me in the form of Facebook. One stop shop. One place to do everything I just talked about - and be ever connected to all of my friends. While this blog was my place, it required people to go out of their way to hear my voice, or it required me to solicit people to pop their heads in see what I wanted to share. Facebook didn't require that, it gave the people what I wanted them to see. And thus, I started using status updates to convey my thoughts, and basically delivered watered-down CliffsNotes versions of what I wanted to talk about. I've been doing my best to limit my presence on Facebook. I feel that it's becoming very overwhelming and too much of an addiction. Twice in the last three years, I've taken sabbaticals from Facebook. Both lasted less than a month, and in those times I learned how much Facebook controlled my life. I couldn't see my IMDb ratings - because all 2000+ of them were linked to my Facebook account. And this isn't an Anti-Facebook thing in any way, this was just a personal moment where I learned how addicted to it I was, and I wanted to step away, back up and make sure I could still live my life without - but it is difficult.
I recently had my thirty-fourth birthday, which was a day that I honestly never expected that I would hit. I was seventeen years old when Chris Farley died, and in my teenage years, I was a very huge fan of Saturday Night Live. Comedy Central re-ran the late 80s and early 90s ones, and every Saturday night I would set up the VCR to record the current one. I was obsessed with Sandler, Myers, Carvey, Spade, Farley, MacDonald, Schneider, Nealon, and so many others. So, the death of Chris Farley really hit me hard and I didn't know how to deal with. I felt that at 17, I was having a mid-life crisis, which meant that I too would die at the age of 33. It was a recurring fear that somehow managed to plant its seed in my subconscious, where it continued to grow and grow for years to come, leading me to make some pretty foolish life choices along the way, thinking that it would not matter in the near future. I've now crossed this bridge, accepted that my life will still be going on, and I need to start coming to terms with a lot of the fallout from these life choices. I lack a college education, I lack career that I enjoy, and I need to seriously work on my health.
I've gotten lazy in my life. Very lazy. I've been more than happy to come home, pop down on the couch, eat some junk food and watch stuff on the television all night. That's not to say that I lack a social life, or don't go out. But, more often than not, I'll spend my free time sitting around doing nothing filling my brain with more and more entertainment value than anything else, and that's a currency that isn't worth very much. I need to change that. I recently moved, and the only downside to my move was that at my old apartment, I had come up with a nice four mile loop around the neighborhood for me to walk my dog and listen to a Nerdist Podcast each night - as the four miles took almost exactly an hour to complete, the timing was almost always perfect. In the last month, I not longer walk those four miles a day. As previously stated, I spend a lot of time on the couch, watching television or movies while spending hours playing my Star Wars game or Words With Friends, or any other number of iOS based games that were addictive and required hours of my time. And I was happy with it, so happy that my XBOX rarely gets used anymore. Every now and then I'll kick it on to knock out another level or two or a game, but what used to take up hours of my night - playing Halo with many of my friends - has almost completely been replaced. Since my move, I've been cutting back my video game playing, but not replacing the time with anything productive. That's something that needs to change.
Change. That seems to be the mantra I'm going for in this post-thirty-four lifestyle. I need change, and some big ones. First, is my commitment to this blog, and writing again. Someday I need to get back to work on "Perfect Life For Large Price". Sadly, working on it hit a major roadblock at a bad point in my life, and I don't try hard enough to push past that. I'm also realizing how much I am allowing my current employment to mentally drain me. It's very hard for me to work with some of the people I have to work with, and that mentally drains me. I want to be successful, I want to help make my place of employment successful, but when bitching and complaining are all I hear non-stop, it makes it too easy to tune it out and stop caring. I need to work for positive and motivational people - not people who love focusing on the negative and complain about how things aren't done perfectly to their liking, despite getting the job done more efficiently. My current place of employment take a serious mental toll on me that it shouldn't - but I was raised with a very solid work ethic, that causes me to feel guilty about not trying my hardest. I've tried riding it out as long as I could, I really enjoy the company and they take good care of me - but that is something that is in my control to change, and I need to make something happen. I need to find a job that I'm not only passionate about, but one that can help make me feel productive in this world.
And speaking of this world - I want to travel more. I was lucky enough to spend my birthday in Arizona with two great friends and even met Nathan Fillion that day! It was a wonderful time, and so relaxing to be free from the burdens of normal life. This trip was also something that wasn't as plausible before the move I keep talking about. I've been lucky enough to move into a house owned by a good friend of mine,and she has two dogs of her own. I loved living alone, it was very nice and it gave me a serious sense of accomplishment in life, being able to be self-sufficient. However, the financial burden was taking a serious toll on me, and I had to be extra responsible for taking care of the life of my puppy. All of that changed with this move. I now have the luxury of an amazing roommate, who is more than willing to help in the care of my dog, along with her own. I am also blessed to have greatly reduced my living expenses - which will allow for some more freedom in traveling.
Travel. Travel. Travel. It's what I have always loved, and I've been somewhat inspired by what my friend Mandie recently did. After being laid off from her corporate job, she packed up to travel the world and BLOG ABOUT IT. Now, I'm not to think that I could make that same jump at this point in my life, but I have been inspired to attempt to do more to see the world. I've toyed with the idea of looking into working for a cruise line or an airline. I'm always a little slow and hesitant with making large life choices - which is odd, because I'll do the most impulsive and insane things in the moment - but something like this I always wade in slowly with reservations. I'm poking my head around the internet and seeing what jobs are out there, and what I might think I'd like to try to do. I'm also a person who gets very dejected over rejection, and that causes me to be much more careful and selective in what I attempt to pursue, most likely to a fault.
I have already failed at my 2014 New Year's Resolution.
However, I now am putting for a few new things for me to try.
1. Write something. Every. Day.
2. Travel. Visit friends in other cities. Go to a European country soon.
3. Find a way to get paid for either writing or traveling. Make a future built on doing something I am passionate about for a living.
So, hopefully this site will begin to be populated with some original short stories, ideas, concepts, anything I'm thinking about potentially turning into a project. Or maybe just a quick update on a project of some other kind that I am working on. There are more definitely going to be film reviews. I need to exercise my mind and my fingers just as much as I need to get on a bike or a treadmill.
I just spend ninety minutes writing, but I created 2100 words that were previously just floating around in my brain. I gave them a home. And the more words I give homes to, the more free space I have to come up with new words to put together. I hope I can stick with this.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
"We Bought a Zoo" Review
I was nineteen when I saw “Singles” for the first time, and for the first time I was made consciously aware of the impression that Cameron Crowe’s music had on my emotional attachment to various cinematic moments. One year later, my mind was forever blown open to the power of music, when I was given the opportunity to attend an advance screening of “Almost Famous”. That was the day that everything changed. That was the day that I realized how badly I wanted to be a writer, and how much I loved music, and the emotional connection it has with people.
The thing that Cameron Crowe has always done perfectly is give me characters that I can relate to and identify with. From Mark’s quiet yearning for Stacy despite her attraction to the bad boy who is just using her to Lloyd’s unfaltering commitment to Diane, no matter how much she pushes him away. I witnessed the good and the bad of young love, and I learned that sometimes too big of an ego could really be a person’s downfall. Finally, I learned the true power of music. Anyone who knows me, if I told you the number of times that I turned off the lights, and listened to “Tommy” with a candle burning – no one would be surprised by the number.
“Elizabethtown” seemed to build on what was originally touched on in “Jerry Maguire” and I further learned that no matter how badly of a screw up one may be – there are always bigger problems in life.
I only have one small blemish in my love of Cameron Crowe. My all-time favorite film is a Spanish film titled “Abre los Ojos” – which was remade into an American film known as “Vanilla Sky”. My all-time favorite film was being remade by my all-time favorite director. A director who had emotionally directed me through the majority of my life, and put me on a musical journey that has prevented me from listening to the majority of the Crap-Called-Music Post-1998. What could go wrong? Sadly, everything. So, If I have it in my heart to forgive George Lucas for the terribleness we came to know as the Prequel Trilogy, then I must have the room to forgive Cameron Crowe for a subpar representation of a film that I am obviously over-invested in.
That’s the short and simple version of my life inspired by Cameron Crowe, which brings us up to the fall of 2011, where I’ve been patiently waiting for five years for anything from the director who always knows how to bring me to a new emotional level. I got a great fill over the past two months. First, I got to see “Pearl Jam Twenty” a few times on the big screen, and have had multiple viewings at home since the DVD was released. I was always a fan of Pearl Jam, but not to the extent of many of my friends. I listened to their music, and I enjoyed it. It wasn’t until 2006, when David Sibley took me to my first Pearl Jam concert in Cincinnati that I truly saw the power this band had on its fans. It’s a show that I will never forget, and I was lucky enough that they performed “Baba O’Reilly” at this show. So, it was another perfect marriage. A band that I really enjoyed was being documented by favorite director, who just happened to be a guy that basically grew up next to them in the entertainment industry. It was enjoyable on so many levels.
So, when I found out about the month-in-advance screenings of “We Bought a Zoo”, I did everything in my power to make sure that I would be able to attend it – and I’m very happy that I did. Whatever bitter taste anyone may have had in their mouth after “Elizabethown” should easily be washed away with this well-made film.
Last October, I had just started back to work in the film exhibition industry, and within my first few days of work, I stumbled across an article discussing the casting of Cameron Crowe’s next film, and I learned it was based on a novel – “We Bought a Zoo: The Amazing True Story of a Young Family, a Broken Down Zoo, and the 200 Wild Animals That Changed Their Lives Forever.” – which I told myself I was going to read before I saw the film. As per usual, life got in the way, and over time I learned that Crowe and his co-writer had made some changes to the story and relocated it away from the British countryside into Southern California. It was at this point, that I decided to not allow my love of British and European culture to become conflicted with the vision of my favorite director – as it had previously happened with “Abre los Ojos”. Without any source material, Mr. Crowe had nothing to live up to in the expectations of my mind. I still found myself in a sad quandary, as my favorite film director was about to tackle one of my least favorite genres of film-making: The Bio-Pic. Ugh. Hollywood has became so overrun with unoriginal ideas, concepts, and characters that they are now forced to remake (ruin) everything from my youth or give me Bio-Pics of people that aren’t truly that interesting. I would very much prefer any documentary who would attempt to give me presentation of the facts, instead of picking and choosing what could best be used for dramatically purposes. It may easily be my least favorite genre, and there are very few of them that I actually enjoy. (Although, sidenote: I’m learning that Gavin O’Connor is the anomaly in Hollywood. I’ve very much enjoyed both of the bio-pics he’s directed, and hated his one scripted film, “Pride and Glory” – which sucks because it was written by Joe Carnahan…?) [Author's note: It has been brought to my attention that "Warrior" was not a bio-pic. This is a fact that I knew, however having recently just watched the film, I felt that it had the same look/feel/vibe that made it come across like it should have said "based on a true story". So, even though I know it is not officially a bio-pic, it might as well have been. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it, when I didn't think that I would.]
So, like it or not, that’s what Mr. Crowe was going to do and I needed to accept it.
Saturday night, I got to the theatre thirty-five minutes early, doing my best to guarantee that I had a prime viewing seat. Over the course of the next half-hour, I noticed the exceptionally large count of younger children entering the auditorium. Suddenly, it dawned on me that my favorite director had dropped his raw, rough, and gritty examinations of life and love through the eyes of wandering teenagers and mid-twenty drifters. He had made a family film. No longer was it going to be a man searching for the right way to prove his worth to woman, at no expense of humiliation. This was about a man who had already achieved that, and was now parenting his children. As the children came in waves, excited to see lots of animals in a film that was about a father moving his children away from their friends, I wondered what I was actually getting myself into.
Turns out, I was worrying over nothing. Every now and then, in life, there are moments that things just seem to fall into place. It’s like it was always meant to be. This was supposed to happen, so that later on, you would appreciate when this other thing happens.
The main plotline of the film deals with a man, who three months before the start of the film has just lost his wife. In the world of escapism relation, the world is coming up on the one-year loss of one of my best friends, and I know as the day draws closer, it’s getting harder for all of us. So, Matt Damon’s portrayal of a man – Benjamin Mee – who has lost something so important to him, tugs on my heart in ways that it might not to everyone who views the film. The emotional attachments that he has to every restaurant they ate at, and the correlation he puts on many of his personal items that invoke memories is very well handled in the first thirty minutes of the film. It’s very well handled, and culminates in a beautiful scene between Damon and the girl who plays his daughter. On an emotional level, the film dangled the remorse of loss in front of me, to get me interested.
Then, it hooked me with the relationship between Matt Damon and his son. Going back to my personal life, my father and I butted heads thousands of times in my youth. The two of us could just never see eye-to-eye. He was military and had demands, while I was an anti-authoritative adolescent who got put into my place more times than I can remember counting. Despite our rocky youth, I’m happy that over the past ten years, my father and I have managed to become very good and close friends.
Colin Ford, who plays the son in the film constantly impressed me with his subtle nuances that he captured. From the anger and defiance he shows in the presence of his father, to the quiet and defensive attitude he shows towards the girl he likes, while he pushes away all of her advances. Once we reach the moment where Colin Ford and Matt Damon have their “Come to Jesus” speeches with each other, it is such an emotional hurricane, that I was beyond impressed with their deliveries of dialogue, and just in awe of the raw emotion they were both able to draw from. It was probably my favorite scene in the entire film.
The love story is there, but luckily it is never really the main focus of the film. I enjoyed that, as they did a wonderful job building up how much he was in love with his wife, and I would have hated to see that so easily cheapened, by the simple fact that someone like Scarlett Johannson was suddenly in his life. Over the course of the film, as Benjamin Mee discovers just how far he can push himself, and how far people are willing to come with him, it’s nice to watch the glances of the eyes, the quick moments of physical contact, the hugs, the holding hands, the slow evolution of something that wasn’t the main focus of the plot.
The music is – as always – top notch. I proudly own the soundtrack to every film that Cameron Crowe has made, and I’m very disappointed to learn that the official soundtrack for this film is nothing but the music of Icelandic artist Jónsi. Whose music was fine, but I was hoping for an album filled with Temple of the Dog (whose song is played during a really enjoyable scene where Benjamin is getting introduced to the lives of his employees), Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Pete Townshend, and The Rolling Stones. Although, the more I think about it, after a second viewing of the film, I could probably write down all the songs, and will be able to create this mix CD from music I already own. There may be a few tracks I’ll have to buy from iTunes, but Crowe’s musical selections are often already in my own personal library.
The only downside to the film is that does feel long – and with a running time of two hours and fifteen minutes, there’s legitimate reason that it feels so long. The sad part is that it does reach the point where I consciously became aware that it had taken a long time to get to this point – and there was still a significant amount of resolution to get through. I never actually looked at my clock, until the film was over, and that was just to see exactly how long the film was running. However, despite what I just said, I can’t think of anything that could have legitimately been cut from the film. The true test will be the second viewing. After I am no longer engaged by what is coming next, and what I am listening to, but just watching the story unfold. It will be at that point that I can actually determine if there is any fat to be trimmed.
I believe that overall the film will play with audiences, families, and even children. One great part about the script is that there are numerous sight gags – many including Patrick Fugit (“Almost Famous”) and the Capuchin monkey – which had the children in my auditorium laughing at a lot. To some much more subtle “adult” themed humor from the hilariously loud and over-the-top character played by Angus Macfadyen. There’s a nice blend of humor that hits both age groups and it was a pleasure to observe the reactions of everyone in my screening. The majority of the time, I enjoy the solitude of screening films either alone, or with an extremely small group of people – but in this case, I’m very happy that I got to enjoy the film with a crowd.
Love, loss, life-changing decisions, financial and economical troubles, commitment to a concept that turns into a dream, and the power of dedication, determination, and devotion are all topics that are interwoven in this simple tale about how the irrational purchase of a dilapidated state-run zoo changed the lives of everyone involved. It’s emotional, and I’m not just talking about over-dramatized family disputes, I’m talking about the emotional connections that are made between the characters and the animals, and the ability it has to cross-over the fourth wall and force the viewer to make those same connections. It’s tough. I can think of three separate, specific moments in the film where I was forced to wipe tears from my eyes. Part of it was the script, part of it was the acting, but another part of it was amazing ability of Cameron Crowe to make me love and care about anything that he wants me to.
The film ends in a way that many of my favorite films do. “The Usual Suspects”, “Primer”, and “Another Earth” all wrap up their main plotline, they resolve the issues of the journey that you have taken with them, and everything seems to be over. Then, each of these films tacks on one last scene at the end. One last, “before you go” moment. One final glimpse at the lives of you just came to know. The final scene of “We Bought a Zoo” may feel a little out of place, and a little forced, based on what the general plot was. But, on an emotional level, in a wonderful bookend moment, it brings to light the emotional meaning of the journey, which is what the entire film truly was.
One of my new favorite quotes comes from this film, “Sometimes, all it takes is twenty seconds of unbearable courage.” I don’t know if that quote came from Benjamin Mee’s book, or if Cameron Crowe wrote it himself – but those are words I can believe in. Because I’ve been there, as has everyone else. That one moment, where you are scared out of your mind, but you suddenly summon the courage to do something, say something, ask someone something, or just be something. The moment leading up to the eventual decision is probably the hardest and scariest – but you never know what will happen after it.
I highly recommend the film “We Bought a Zoo”. Does it get higher praise because of Cameron Crowe? Possibly. But, despite my “fanboy” moniker, I truly believe this film has a great story of triumph, family bonding, and personal introspection that anyone and everyone can – and should – enjoy.
“We Bought a Zoo” hits theatres on December 23rd. You should check it out.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Kicked Out Another Chapter
I was able to write Chapter 33 tonight at work.
It's NOW ONLINE.
It's a short (1,606 word) chapter that addresses the trouble that David is in, in the alternate timeline. It's kind of a mini-cliffhanger, because we won't be back in that timeline for a while. The next few chapters will be in the original timeline dealing with Dominic and Noah, and I'll finally be bringing Drea back into the picture, as the whole group ends up in The Centre, and everyone in the novel learns their true capabilities.
It's going to build up nicely to the big cliffhanger, and I'll get to kill off a couple of more people before that chapter. Then, it's all off-line writing until the end of the year.
Been focusing on this novel so much this week, I need to squeeze in some more time to finish the "Grinchby" outline and start writing that. I've just been really happy with the flow of "Perfect Life..." this week that I wanted to keep it going.
We'll see what I'm in the mood to work on tomorrow afternoon...
It's NOW ONLINE.
It's a short (1,606 word) chapter that addresses the trouble that David is in, in the alternate timeline. It's kind of a mini-cliffhanger, because we won't be back in that timeline for a while. The next few chapters will be in the original timeline dealing with Dominic and Noah, and I'll finally be bringing Drea back into the picture, as the whole group ends up in The Centre, and everyone in the novel learns their true capabilities.
It's going to build up nicely to the big cliffhanger, and I'll get to kill off a couple of more people before that chapter. Then, it's all off-line writing until the end of the year.
Been focusing on this novel so much this week, I need to squeeze in some more time to finish the "Grinchby" outline and start writing that. I've just been really happy with the flow of "Perfect Life..." this week that I wanted to keep it going.
We'll see what I'm in the mood to work on tomorrow afternoon...
Sunday, September 11, 2011
The Decennial Anniversary: My Story
According to my parents, everyone in America remembers where they were on both November 22, 1963 as well as July 21, 1969. Those were some pretty significant moments in the history of this country, I’m sure if I had ever asked my grandparents where any of them were on December 7, 1941, they would have instantly been able to recall their situations. The first similar moment I can remember was on April 19, 1995 when I was sitting in Freshman Health and an announcement was made that teachers could turn on the televisions. Mrs. Dunham did, and we all got to witness the aftermath of the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. Six years later, I would become witness to the most destructive act of terrorism on United States soil and I, like every other American on planet Earth can remember exactly where I was that day, and what I did. So, this is my account of how I lived that day and how it affected me.
In the fall of 2001 I found myself recently back in
Indiana after a failed attempt to live in California. I was jobless, and going through the first of
many claims of “I’ll never take another movie theatre job again.”
(By December was proven false, when I was offered two
different jobs and chose the one on the south side of town, due to the girl I
was dating at the time. Granted, it was
probably the better job, and I love the friends I made over my five years
there, but as far as my reasoning went, we all know how poorly that turned out.)
I was living up my youth by living at home with my
parents, lounging around the Castleton Arts theatre, getting the Broad Ripple
scene out of my system, and endlessly playing pool with Zach all night at P.S.
O’Rourke’s. It was a pathetic blur of an
existence, and I can’t even seem to recall how I would make ends meet. I’m sure my parents were covering my bills,
and I know Zach took good care of me while we were hanging out.
For me, the morning of September 11th started
a few minutes before 9:00am, when I got up to use the bathroom, and when I
walked out, I noticed the television was on.
This was an odd occurrence, seeing how both of my parents should have
been at work and my brother at school. I
entered the living room, saw no one, and called out, “Hello?”
My brother popped his head over the railing of the loft
and informed me that there was testing going on at school, and he wasn’t to
report until 11:00am. I glanced at the
TV and saw a building on fire, but without my contacts in, I couldn’t read the
captions or process what I was seeing. I
just assumed it was some movie that Scott had on. I didn’t pay attention to the words of the
newscasters, as my only goal was to get a few more hours of sleep.
So, I went back into my room, crawled back under my
covers, and turned on WZPL to listen to the morning show as I went back to
dreamland. It was at this time that I
began to discern comments about a plane crashing into the World Trade
Center. It took a solid minute for these
words to actual sink into my brain and for it completely process into fact. At 9:01am, I put on my glasses and rushed
back into the living room, yelling at my brother, “Hey! Do you know what’s
going on?”
I looked up to the loft and saw him standing in the same
place he was two minutes ago when we were talking, blankly staring down at the
television. I remember my eyes looking
up at him, and then back down into the living room at the exact minute that the
second plane hit the South Tower. I sat
down on the couch, with my eyes glued to the television. I don’t remember how, but suddenly my brother
was sitting next to me and we made that couch our home base for at least the
next four hours.
Like the majority of America, we were fixated on the
television and the information coming in.
Everything so far had been so surreal, was this all really
happening? Suddenly, there were reports
of the Pentagon being hit, and minutes later there was live coverage of it
burning. At that moment, it became clear
that we were under attack in a way no one ever could have seen coming. By the time the reports of the plane crash in
Pennsylvania came in, it was almost impossible to feel shocked anymore.
Scott and I eventually watched in complete disbelief as
the first tower collapsed, followed by the second. Even while the buildings were burning, I had
never considered the possibility that they would fall. They were hit so high up, that I believed the
base structure would remain intact – well, I was proven terribly wrong.
In this modern digital media technology age, it’s hard to
remember the fact that I watched every minute of this live on television and
listened to the radio a lot that day. I
didn’t have Twitter to follow or a Facebook newsfeed to get me the latest
news. I was at the mercy of whatever
channel of news I was watching, local, CNN, MSNBC, whatever. I knew there was a lot of channel surfing
going on, to make sure that one network wasn’t scooping something that the
others were missing.
Around noon, I received a phone call from Jason L.
Maier. The vast majority of my days were
spent hanging out with him at Castleton Arts, while we talked movies and ideas
for scripts. If I’m not mistaken, at
this point we were kicking around ideas for a “Consternate” sequel. (What else were we going to do?) Jason’s phone call was to let me know that
Castleton Arts was going to be closed that day.
Dione had called him and asked him to make sure I knew this, so that I
didn’t show up that afternoon – like I did almost every single day, even if
Jason wasn’t working. So, I wasn’t going
to be spending any part of the day there.
My memory is a little hazy on my parents. I’m pretty sure my mother’s work closed down
early and sent people home, and the fact that my father works in a government
building makes me believe that I remember them being evacuated at some
point. Nonetheless, by mid-afternoon, I
know my entire family was sitting together in the living room, watching the news
coverage. By that point, there really wasn’t
any new information – as the attacks were over – but rather, we were in awe of
the aftermath and the destruction.
Later on in the afternoon, I was sitting on the floor of
my bedroom, listening to WZPL and they had already taken audio bites from that
morning and cut them together with various songs. Most memorable to me was Collective Soul’s “The
World I Know” – which specifically mentions walking around the streets of New
York City. I am certain that buried in a
box in my parent’s basement is cassette tape that recorded that afternoon of
many of these songs. Days later, they
made them all available as MP3 downloads on their website, which I snagged them
all and burnt a CD titled “9/11 Tribute Songs” which is in a box with all of my
other CDs. I got that CD out today
(Saturday) and started listening to it.
It brought back a lot of memories and emotions, listening to the voices
of reporters, callers, and emergency workers.
Here is the track listening for the songs that had dialogue spliced in
with them:
1. Faith
Hill – Star Spangled Banner
2. Lee
Greenwood – Proud to be an American
3. Collective
Soul – The World I Know
4. Live –
Overcome
5. John
Lennon – Imagine
6. U2 –
Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of
7. Enya –
Only Time
8. Jewel
– Hands
9. Sarah
McLachlan – Angel
10. Blessid
Union of Souls – I Believe
11. U2 –
Peace on Earth
12. Eric
Clapton – Tears in Heaven
13. Sarah
McLachlan – I Will Remember You
There is also a fourteenth track, which is all
instrumental, and sounds very familiar to me, but I can’t place it. I’m thinking John Williams of Hans Zimmer,
but I don’t know for a fact. The last
track is very dialogue heavy, so it makes it a little more difficult to figure
out. I’ve actually ripped all fourteen
of these track and placed them in a public folder on Google Docs. You can go and download them all RIGHT HERE.
Sometime after dinner, Zach hit me up and asked if I
wanted to go to P.S. O’Rourke’s.
Basically, the entire world had shut down. The movie theatres were closed, the mall was
closed, and almost every business was closed.
So, when he asked I was reluctant, assuming that they too would be
closed.
“If nothing else, I just need to get out of the house and
drive around,” Zach said to me, and that was enough of a selling point that I
was game to take a break from the mass media frenzy and get some fresh
air. So, the teal green Dodge Shadow
rolled down the street, picked me up, and whisked me away to the land of P.S. O’Rourke’s. There were barely any other cars on the
street, it was almost like a scene from an apocalyptic film. Castleton was dead silent, and I don’t recall
ever seeing the mall parking lot so barren.
When we finally pulled up to P.S. O’Rourke’s, there were almost no
indicators that the place was open, but when I jumped out of the car, I was
shocked as I pulled the door and it swung open.
Inside we found Sloan and only two other patrons. When we asked Sloan why he went ahead and
opened the bar, his response was simple enough, “This is where I want to be,
and I want to give other people a place to gather with me.”
We sat and talked, we played some pool, and after 8:30pm,
a few more regulars had strolled in and about ten of us were all sitting at the
bar, watching George W. Bush give his speech on the tragic events of the day.
I woke up on September 12th with a passionate
rage going on inside of me. I swore up
and down that I was going to join the Army.
I was going to go out on the front lines and kill as many “bad guys” as
I could in retaliation. As I said, I was
a jobless twenty-one year old wayward soul with no direction in life who had
just recently been forced to give up on his dreams. What else was I going to do? I had no job, no girlfriend, and no passion
to do anything else. Suddenly, I was
consumed with this desire to follow in the footsteps of my father and
grandfathers, and serve our country. In the
end, I never followed through with it. Some
days I wish that I had, just to have saved me from so many terrible emotions
over the past ten years. However, I also
look at the fact that I would not know many of my closest friends that I have
right now. It’s a terrible Catch-22,
that I can never possibly know which path would have been the better one. But, I do regret never making the decision to
serve my country, like so many of my family members did before me.
Over the next few weeks, I collected a number of
newspapers, magazines, and comics to remember the tragic events of that
day. I had political views, pop culture
views, and sports-related views. Until recently, none of these magazine have seen the light of day. They have been sealed in a manilla envelope that was placed in my parent's safe and only recently removed.
I remember the impact that the event had on Hollywood,
and the two major poster changes that resulted.
First was “Sidewalks of New York”, which originally had the twin towers
in the background. Second was the teaser
poster for “Spider-Man” which originally showed the towers reflecting in
Spider-man’s eyes. I need to double
check, but I believe I still have a copy of this poster in my collection at my
parent’s house.
I also remember the original teaser trailer for "Spider-Man" in 2001, which was very quickly pulled from theatres on September 12th.
I remember being outraged when I heard the film “Serendipity”
was going to digitally remove the twin towers from the film. Personally, I found that to be distasteful to
the memory of the buildings, and erasing them from a period of time when they
did exist was ludicrous. I was very
happy that Cameron Crowe refused to remove them from his film “Vanilla Sky”,
and to this day I enjoy seeing the towers in the opening credits and
establishing shots of the TV series “Friends” as well as in the film “Home
Alone 2: Lost in New York”, which I watch more than once during the holiday
season.
If memory serves me properly (which I don’t count on
these days), My brother visited New York City a number of times before he
started getting the itch to move there.
Eventually, by 2006, through some mutual friends and connections, he was
able to move in with Jason’s future wife Letha for an extended period of time,
allowing him to live in a city that he was very passionate about. I’m not sure how much the impact of September
11th had on him and his love for the city, but it was definitely there,
and it was nice to see him get to live out that dream. I did not get to take my first trip to New
York City until 2006, and to this day it is always going to be a regret of mine
that I never got to stand at the base of the towers and look up at them to see
them curve. As a child, it was one of
those things that I always knew I would get to do one. Like going to the Walk of Fame, or the Arch,
or Times Square, or walking the Tower Bridge in London. In my youth, I never imagined a day when I
couldn’t finally go see the towers. My second trip to NYC was during Christmastime of 2006, and one day while Letha was at work, Jason was able to take me
down to the site, we were only able to stand outside of fencing, and look into a
giant empty pit, where two massive buildings once stood. It was a moment of disappoint, that was put
into perspective as I realized that I was standing where thousands of people’s
lives were ended. It was a very eerie
feeling. As we walked around lower Manhattan, on our way to the Statue of Liberty, we ended up passing by a memorial which included a piece that was recovered from the lobby of Tower Two.
I hate and loathe Brett Favre, because of the media. I despise Tickle Me Elmo, because of the
media. By 2008, I was sick and tired of
the yearly media coverage of September 11th. In no way was attempting to dishonor
everything that happened, I merely felt that the media – and by this time
social networking – were abusing the entire situation, and only spinning it all
for personal gain. In a society that claimed they were trying to protect people, it felt like they were picking at, and tearing open a scab each and every year. The media acted like they wanted to help people deal with their loss, by annually rubbing it in their faces and making a mass spectacle of the recurring situation. I was over-saturated with it all. Therefore, when I got
my tax return and planned my vacation, I specifically chose to be out of the United
States, and in England on September 11th, hoping that I would be far
removed from the media coverage that I so despised at the time. This decision ultimately resulted in a huge
backfire. Fire, I woke up on the morning
of September 11th, 2008 and turned on BBC News to find them talking
about… The seven year anniversary of the
attacks. I rushed out of my hotel to
enjoy what was supposed to be my last day in London. The next morning I was on the Chunnel from
St. George’s Cross to Paris. I ended up
in a pub for lunch, and hoped to catch some football or rugby, only to find
more news coverage. As I waited for my
food, I lamented to my bartender about how I was attempting to escape all of
this media, by coming to Europe. I
explained that I didn’t know they would be featuring it so heavily in their
country. By midday on this September 11th,
something else began creeping into news coverage. One of the trains from Paris, coming into
England via the Chunnel caught fire, which essentially shut down the Chunnel
for the next 48 hours. IN THIS ARTICLE,
it mentions the 30,000 travelers who were stranded because of this, I was one
of them. Thousands of people were taking
buses and trains to Dover, in an attempt to take crowded ferries across. It was an uncertain fate that I was not
willing to gamble with. If I had larger
funds available to me, to spend multiple nights in Dover, or stranded in
France, I may have shrugged my shoulders and go on an adventure. However, being on a tight budget, and only
plans for one night in Paris before moving onto Munich, it threw my entire
vacation into disarray and I eventually flew straight back to the United States
from London two days later. I chalk the entire experience up to "cosmic irony". God (Or Gods, or High Powers, or Supreme Beings, or whatever you believe in) was trying to make a point to me that day: I took that vacation for the wrong reason, and I deserved to be personally affected for my escapist intentions.
Earlier this year, I read the novel “Love
Monkey”, written by Kyle Smith, it was the basis of a TV show that I really enjoyed,
so I always wanted to read the book, and I finally ran across a copy at
Half-Priced Books. Aside from the fact
that the television show was a vast departure from the original novel, there
was a chapter late in the semi-autobiographical book that dealt with events of
September 11th. I don’t know
how much is fact, and how much Mr. Smith embellished for the narrative, but
nonetheless it was a fascinating read of what the main character went through
on that day, as he attempted to get a hold of his friends, after standing on a
street corner in lower Manhattan and watching the buildings collapse in front
of him. As a reader, I got the feeling
that Kyle Smith actually lived something similar to what Tom Ferrell went
through in the novel, as it was told with such detail and emotion. (And I do know that Kyle Smith has been a
long time resident in NYC).
Tonight, I sit here on the eve of the tenth
anniversary. I’ve spent the last four
days writing this article, which I hope someone actually takes the time to
read, and perhaps enjoy this one tale of where I was when my generation changed
forever. I did not know anyone who was
killed on that day. I didn’t have any
friends that I was worrying over. I’m
not constantly haunted by the images depicting the demise of a friend or
relative. So, when I sit here and
imagine how much my life was changed ten years ago, I can’t even begin to
imagine what tomorrow is going to be like for those whose lives where directly impacted and forever altered because of the terrorist’s actions that morning.
It’s hard to believe that it’s been ten years. It's crazy to think about all of the changes in society and security due to the actions of a few men. Life was a lot easier, a lot more simplistic, and honestly a lot more enjoyable back then. The oppression of the government has gone way up and there are thousands of conspiracy theorists nut-jobs coming up with the mast asinine ways to blame our government for everything bad that has happened. The world really isn't a fun place anymore, and maybe it's just a realization that I'm coming to as I've hit thirty, but I do remember how things were before that fateful day.
As I’ve written this, it’s been a very interesting trip down memory lane. Remember where I was in life ten years ago, and looking at everything I’ve done between then and now. Seeing the dreams that I’ve failed, and the new ones that I continue to strive for now.
As I’ve written this, it’s been a very interesting trip down memory lane. Remember where I was in life ten years ago, and looking at everything I’ve done between then and now. Seeing the dreams that I’ve failed, and the new ones that I continue to strive for now.
I will proudly be participating in multiple moments of
silence.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
"One Day" Review
On June 30th, I WROTE A BLOG about the five films I was most looking forward to, in the remainder of 2011.
Now, I have been able to cross of Numbers One and Two, and I felt like writing a little bit about each one of them.
#2. "One Day".
Friday, July 15th, 2011 was a Pay Day for me. I had just recently finished reading the novel "Love Monkey" by Kyle Smith, and was looking for something new to read. A few nights earlier, I had been at a screening for the final "Harry Potter" film, and the preview for "One Day" came on. I geeked out, as two weeks previous I had named it #2 on My List, and had been loving the preview for a couple of months - specifically remembering how the OneRepublic song "Good Life" would stick in my head for hours after watching the trailer.
As I perked up and leaned forward in my seat, my friend Heather leaned over to me and asked if I had read the book. I told her that I had not, and she informed me how much she loved it and believed that I would too. Two days later, on the aforementioned Pay Day, I purchased the book (NON-movie poster cover) and brought it to work with me that night. I read Chapter 1 quickly, and as I began reading Chapter 2, I noticed "July 15th, 1989". I flipped back to the first chapter - knowing full well the premise - and saw "July 15th, 1988". In a bizarre twist of fate, I actually purchased the novel on the exact "one day" mentioned in the title. That could have been the first sign that I was destined to love the novel, but it was not the last. Watching the evolution of these two characters, and their times together, their times apart, their missed opportunities, their fights, and everything else that made them friends - was perfection. It was some of the best writing and storytelling I've ever read. Coming off the heals of "Love Monkey" which I felt was a novel very close to where I am at in life today, to read this novel, felt like reading a novel about how I too had stressed/ruined some good friendships.
On July 15th, 1988, Dexter and Emma have both just graduated from University, and they drunkenly find themselves awkwardly undressed in Emma's flat. From this moment on, the two of them agree to remain friends. The film then checks in with them on each subsequent July 15th. What makes it so wonderful is that it's not a gimmicky "Let's always agree to hang out on the exact same day" type of lame plot device. Instead, some years they are hanging out together and some years they are not. Dexter and Emma are close friends, best of friends, and therefore it's not completely out of the grasp of reality for them to at least talk on the phone each day. Prior to the internet and social networking - the masses of people would at least check in with their friends via the home phone on a regular basis. So, even the years that they are not together, it's nice to see their conversations, or their missed attempts to speaking to each other that day.
Over the course of the years, we see Dexter as he rises in popularity as a TV Presenter, while we witness Emma being stuck in the rut of a dead-end job with a lack of motivation and low self worth, only to see how the charm of Dexter can bring a smile back to her face. In later years, we see (in a PG-13 version of Dexter's drinking/drug life) how he grows to annoy Emma and eventually take her for granted so many times that it pushes her over the edge of what she can take from him, telling him that she no longer desires to be his friend. While Dexter is spiraling out of control with drugs and his popularity with women, we get to watch as Emma focuses on purposes in her life. She begins teaching, and directing children's plays, and eventually publishes a children's novel. (A subplot in the book that works really well, but was sadly eliminated from the film...)
Years later, we catch up with them again, and we as an audience are reminded that it is our closest friends who most often annoy and upset us and we always hold them up to higher standards, but they are also the people that we can never completely write out of our lives. As Dex & Em reconnect, we see their thirties begin to take control and shape who they are to become. Life is painful, it's not pretty and everyone is often compromised in numerous ways. This story does not pull any punches, it shows a lot of the bad that everyone is faced to deal with. Children, marriage, infidelity, divorce, bad friends, mistakes, and emotions are all addressed as our two star-crossed friends eventually come to point in time that feels right for them both to finally cross the line of friendship into a territory they have both wanted for so long.
The great thing about the story is that it's not a typical, boy-meets-girl, boy-woos-girl, boy-screws over-girl, boy-tries to win back-girl because he can't live without her kind of lame plot that requires misunderstandings to create drama and push two people apart. Instead, the story of Dex & Em is about two people, whose lives are just never harmoniously at the same point for them to get what they truly desire from each other, or for them to feel like it's the right time to pursue anything beyond friendship. Over the years we get to see the foundation being built, so that when the time is right, the two of them can finally make each other the happiest. The story is a wonderful look at growing up, making mistakes, taking your friends for granted, acting arrogant only to have life beat you down into humility, settling for what is given to you, and the endless pursuit of dreams. It's a love story, that covers a million other emotions.
The film is a very good representation of the novel. It's flawed, and it's a double-edged sword. If you have read the book, then you can fill in some of the gaps of what is missing, based on what you remember reading. It's like the "Harry Potter" franchise, when I would discuss some of the issues I had with people, they would inform me, "Well, the left out this part... blah blah blah," which did help things make more sense. The same is true here, there are some small details that are overlooked and I believe it makes the film story a little weaker.
However, if you have not read the book, and you are just going by what is presented to you on the screen, I believe it to be a good representation of the surface of Dexter and Emma's friendship/relationship. Sadly, it's just the surface, and so many emotions are missing. A letter that Dexter writes Emma and then never gets to mail is completely eliminated - I admit, it would be hard to have included, however in the narrative of the novel, as Dexter writes it, it's one of the most touching moments for his character, before he begin to despise him. Emma is involved with a married man at one point, their stressful relationship is completely avoided, despite the fact that it shows Emma finally attempting to be more selfish, as the man claims he wants to leave his wife, and Emma tells him not to, because she doesn't want to be with him. Dexter's hard-core partying and drug use are never touched, which makes his revelation of getting married not as powerful. You never get the full feeling of how much of an influence Sylvie had on his life, forcing him to quit drinking and doing drugs, and basically suppressing him like a puppy dog.
Again, the film is a sad Catch-22, were I don't want to tell you to wait on watching it, because it's really enjoyable. However, at the same time, I think anyone would enjoy it more if they had read the book and were able to grasp the full emotional impact these two people have on each other.
David Nicholls wrote the novel, and I am very happy that he was asked to adapt his own work into the film version. I always had faith this would prevent the film from feeling like a bastardized version of such a great story. While a few of my favorite scenes and moments are eliminated from the film and other scenes are slightly changed, I still feel like the film works very well on its own, and was a pleasure to watch. Both Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess did wonderful jobs portraying the wide range of emotions required for the various years. The make-up department also did a phenomenal job of aging the characters each year. Wardrobe and the art departments also did wonderful jobs with clothing, and props, and the movies on the marquee at the cinema. It all made the experience so much more enjoyable.
Most importantly, the narrative structure of the final few chapters was preserved for the film. It works so perfectly in the novel, and I hoped and prayed that it would be told the same way in the film - and it was. It was so perfectly inter-connected, that despite knowing everything, I still got tears in my eyes.
Finally, any film that includes Del Amitri's "Roll to Me" instantly gains bonus points for being awesome.
In all seriousness, I do suggest reading the novel. Preferably before you see the film, but if time is an issue, then I hope the film will interest you enough to pick up the novel afterwards, so that you can get the full experience of what these two amazing characters put each other through, and go through together. It's an amazing story of friendship and love.
RATING: 8.6/10
Now, I have been able to cross of Numbers One and Two, and I felt like writing a little bit about each one of them.
#2. "One Day".
Friday, July 15th, 2011 was a Pay Day for me. I had just recently finished reading the novel "Love Monkey" by Kyle Smith, and was looking for something new to read. A few nights earlier, I had been at a screening for the final "Harry Potter" film, and the preview for "One Day" came on. I geeked out, as two weeks previous I had named it #2 on My List, and had been loving the preview for a couple of months - specifically remembering how the OneRepublic song "Good Life" would stick in my head for hours after watching the trailer.
As I perked up and leaned forward in my seat, my friend Heather leaned over to me and asked if I had read the book. I told her that I had not, and she informed me how much she loved it and believed that I would too. Two days later, on the aforementioned Pay Day, I purchased the book (NON-movie poster cover) and brought it to work with me that night. I read Chapter 1 quickly, and as I began reading Chapter 2, I noticed "July 15th, 1989". I flipped back to the first chapter - knowing full well the premise - and saw "July 15th, 1988". In a bizarre twist of fate, I actually purchased the novel on the exact "one day" mentioned in the title. That could have been the first sign that I was destined to love the novel, but it was not the last. Watching the evolution of these two characters, and their times together, their times apart, their missed opportunities, their fights, and everything else that made them friends - was perfection. It was some of the best writing and storytelling I've ever read. Coming off the heals of "Love Monkey" which I felt was a novel very close to where I am at in life today, to read this novel, felt like reading a novel about how I too had stressed/ruined some good friendships.
On July 15th, 1988, Dexter and Emma have both just graduated from University, and they drunkenly find themselves awkwardly undressed in Emma's flat. From this moment on, the two of them agree to remain friends. The film then checks in with them on each subsequent July 15th. What makes it so wonderful is that it's not a gimmicky "Let's always agree to hang out on the exact same day" type of lame plot device. Instead, some years they are hanging out together and some years they are not. Dexter and Emma are close friends, best of friends, and therefore it's not completely out of the grasp of reality for them to at least talk on the phone each day. Prior to the internet and social networking - the masses of people would at least check in with their friends via the home phone on a regular basis. So, even the years that they are not together, it's nice to see their conversations, or their missed attempts to speaking to each other that day.
Over the course of the years, we see Dexter as he rises in popularity as a TV Presenter, while we witness Emma being stuck in the rut of a dead-end job with a lack of motivation and low self worth, only to see how the charm of Dexter can bring a smile back to her face. In later years, we see (in a PG-13 version of Dexter's drinking/drug life) how he grows to annoy Emma and eventually take her for granted so many times that it pushes her over the edge of what she can take from him, telling him that she no longer desires to be his friend. While Dexter is spiraling out of control with drugs and his popularity with women, we get to watch as Emma focuses on purposes in her life. She begins teaching, and directing children's plays, and eventually publishes a children's novel. (A subplot in the book that works really well, but was sadly eliminated from the film...)
Years later, we catch up with them again, and we as an audience are reminded that it is our closest friends who most often annoy and upset us and we always hold them up to higher standards, but they are also the people that we can never completely write out of our lives. As Dex & Em reconnect, we see their thirties begin to take control and shape who they are to become. Life is painful, it's not pretty and everyone is often compromised in numerous ways. This story does not pull any punches, it shows a lot of the bad that everyone is faced to deal with. Children, marriage, infidelity, divorce, bad friends, mistakes, and emotions are all addressed as our two star-crossed friends eventually come to point in time that feels right for them both to finally cross the line of friendship into a territory they have both wanted for so long.
The great thing about the story is that it's not a typical, boy-meets-girl, boy-woos-girl, boy-screws over-girl, boy-tries to win back-girl because he can't live without her kind of lame plot that requires misunderstandings to create drama and push two people apart. Instead, the story of Dex & Em is about two people, whose lives are just never harmoniously at the same point for them to get what they truly desire from each other, or for them to feel like it's the right time to pursue anything beyond friendship. Over the years we get to see the foundation being built, so that when the time is right, the two of them can finally make each other the happiest. The story is a wonderful look at growing up, making mistakes, taking your friends for granted, acting arrogant only to have life beat you down into humility, settling for what is given to you, and the endless pursuit of dreams. It's a love story, that covers a million other emotions.
The film is a very good representation of the novel. It's flawed, and it's a double-edged sword. If you have read the book, then you can fill in some of the gaps of what is missing, based on what you remember reading. It's like the "Harry Potter" franchise, when I would discuss some of the issues I had with people, they would inform me, "Well, the left out this part... blah blah blah," which did help things make more sense. The same is true here, there are some small details that are overlooked and I believe it makes the film story a little weaker.
However, if you have not read the book, and you are just going by what is presented to you on the screen, I believe it to be a good representation of the surface of Dexter and Emma's friendship/relationship. Sadly, it's just the surface, and so many emotions are missing. A letter that Dexter writes Emma and then never gets to mail is completely eliminated - I admit, it would be hard to have included, however in the narrative of the novel, as Dexter writes it, it's one of the most touching moments for his character, before he begin to despise him. Emma is involved with a married man at one point, their stressful relationship is completely avoided, despite the fact that it shows Emma finally attempting to be more selfish, as the man claims he wants to leave his wife, and Emma tells him not to, because she doesn't want to be with him. Dexter's hard-core partying and drug use are never touched, which makes his revelation of getting married not as powerful. You never get the full feeling of how much of an influence Sylvie had on his life, forcing him to quit drinking and doing drugs, and basically suppressing him like a puppy dog.
Again, the film is a sad Catch-22, were I don't want to tell you to wait on watching it, because it's really enjoyable. However, at the same time, I think anyone would enjoy it more if they had read the book and were able to grasp the full emotional impact these two people have on each other.
David Nicholls wrote the novel, and I am very happy that he was asked to adapt his own work into the film version. I always had faith this would prevent the film from feeling like a bastardized version of such a great story. While a few of my favorite scenes and moments are eliminated from the film and other scenes are slightly changed, I still feel like the film works very well on its own, and was a pleasure to watch. Both Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess did wonderful jobs portraying the wide range of emotions required for the various years. The make-up department also did a phenomenal job of aging the characters each year. Wardrobe and the art departments also did wonderful jobs with clothing, and props, and the movies on the marquee at the cinema. It all made the experience so much more enjoyable.
Most importantly, the narrative structure of the final few chapters was preserved for the film. It works so perfectly in the novel, and I hoped and prayed that it would be told the same way in the film - and it was. It was so perfectly inter-connected, that despite knowing everything, I still got tears in my eyes.
Finally, any film that includes Del Amitri's "Roll to Me" instantly gains bonus points for being awesome.
In all seriousness, I do suggest reading the novel. Preferably before you see the film, but if time is an issue, then I hope the film will interest you enough to pick up the novel afterwards, so that you can get the full experience of what these two amazing characters put each other through, and go through together. It's an amazing story of friendship and love.
RATING: 8.6/10
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