Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Top Ten Films of The 2000s

Top Ten Films of the 2000s.

From the records I’ve kept, between January 1st, 2000 and right this minute, I’ve seen 859 films in the theatre. That’s an average of 85 a year, but this number is very badly top-loaded, as in the early 2000s, I saw many, many, many films that I regret, because I was working in the theatre business, and was willing to watch pretty much anything and everything – most often with Jason L. Maier. I remember the early years when we competed to break 100 films, and even the years that I did, Jason always saw more than me. In the most recent years, I’m lucky to break 40 films in the theatre. I just stopped being willing to watch anything and everything, and am much more selective in what I waste my time with. Now, for the record, this number does not include any films that I’ve seen on DVD or Made-For-TV. Which, most likely adds another couple hundred to the number of films I’ve seen over the past ten years.

I’ve been working on this list for the month. Because, once I narrowed down the films on my theatrical list, I started going through all the films I’ve seen on DVD, from memory. I went through my five-star rated films on Netflix, and through my DVD collection. It’s been a long process, but I think I’ve finally gotten it narrowed down to the films I’ve willing to label as “Shane’s Top Ten Films of the 2000s”.

10. “The Damned United” (2009)
“We grew up just a few streets apart in Middlesbrough... Close to Ayresome Park. He'll have known my street: Valley Road. Probably bought sweets from Garnett's factory where me dad worked.”



Ego and pride are perfectly captured in this well written, non-linear film. As it opens with a very arrogant and egotistical Brian Clough, and then flashes back to show you his progression, and the little events, conversations, and matches that transformed him and made him become overly obsessed with being a better football club manager than his rival. And, to increase his troubles is the fact that his “rival” doesn’t even acknowledge him. His emotions, and determination, are so perfectly displayed and acted, I think Martin Sheen was phenomenal. Colm Meaney was also perfect in his role. I really enjoyed watching Clough’s arrogance getting the best of him, and driving him, and causing him to do some pretty outrageous things.

9. “Primer” (2004)
“What happens if it actually works?”



By FAR, the BEST time-travel film ever made. Hands-down. Nothing compares to how this film handles time-travel. The best part of the film, is the minute that it is over, right after the “pay off”, it’s okay to start it over again and watch it a second time to see everything you missed. Since the film is only 78-ish minutes long, and it flies by, you will be longing to watch it again and see any mistakes. But, there are none. It’s perfect. Everything is set up from the opening dialogue of the film, and it plays out perfectly. As the device is used and tested over and over again, the concept of time, time travel, linear time, and changing the constant future are represented, and even debated in some amazing dialogue. On a budget of $7,000 to buy film the stock, I think this is one of the most original, well-written, well-planned, well-conceived films I’ve ever seen. It’s so interesting and intriguing, and the best three hours you could spend thinking about time travel and it’s abilities.

8. “The Prestige” (2006)
“You never understood, why we did this. The audience knows the truth: the world is simple. It's miserable, solid all the way through. But if you could fool them, even for a second, then you can make them wonder, and then you... then you got to see something really special... you really don't know?... it was... it was the look on their faces...”



Again, much like “The Damned United”, I enjoy the concept of obsession over being the best. Where this film is different from the previous one, is the fact that the two characters are actually competing against each other, and their continued attempts to do better than the other drive this great plot. It’s enjoyable to watch the transformation of the two characters, who begin as good friends, and then develop a continually growing hatred towards each other, in their solo attempts at becoming the best possible illusionist.

Christopher Nolan does an amazing job with the non-linear story-telling, through the reading of the journal. As the story is told, and unfolds, and you learn the lengths that they each went to, in their quests, as it unfolds. Finally, the emotional ending to this film, as the “pay off” is revealed during the final confrontation, and you learn exactly how much each man hand to give up in his life, over their feud, really puts everything into perspective.

7. “You Can Count on Me” (2000)
“I don't want to believe something or not believe it because I might feel bad. I want to believe it because I think it's true or not... I'd like to think that my life is important... Or that it's connected to something important...”



Mark Ruffalo and Laura Linney are amazing. Two siblings, both with years and years of baggage, both trying to do their best to live their lives. It’s nice to see two flawed characters work together so perfectly. As a troubled drifter, Ruffalo’s character comes in mysterious and it takes us a long time to find out why he hates his hometown so much, on the other extreme, you’ve got Linney’s character who feels like she doesn’t deserve better, and is forcing herself to stay, without ever chasing her dreams or aspirations. Their sibling feuds, and how Linney’s son looks up to Ruffalo is amazing. Rory Culkin’s performance is amazing, and I’m a huge fan of the “hammering” scene. I think it’s nice to see imperfection represented so well. They don’t come off as losers, they don’t come off as idiots. They simply come off as two people, trying to do their best, and their own insecurities stand in the way. Watching them play off each other works so well.

6. “Life as a House” (2001)
“You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant. It happened to me.”



This was a difficult one for me to put on this list, despite how amazing I think the film is. I saw this film in November of 2001, because I was really looking forward to seeing our future Anakin Skywalker. I remember walking into the Greenwood theatre, David Lichty got me signed on, as I went on my first date with Kristen. That year, for Christmas, I gave her a framed poster of the film, something that was in all of our domiciles together. Luckily, I had a second poster to keep for myself.

As far as the film goes, I think it’s one of the things that helped me with my own father issues. As all of my friends know, things were rough growing up, and being a “black sheep” in my family, didn’t make things easy with my military father. It’s a disappointment that it was so late in my life that I saw a film like this. Something that made me realize, life can change in any instant, and nothing in guaranteed. Luckily, I’ve never actually been stuck in a moment where I thought I was going to lose my father, but this film opened up my mind and my eyes to the possibility and knowledge that I need to do better in relationships with my family.

Kevin Kline is amazing. As a care-free man, who decides that he wants to reconcile things with his family, after many troubling years with his son. It’s really just an amazing dramatic film, with some good humor in it, that shows a wonderful transition in characters, as Hayden Christensen is forced to spend the summer helping his father rebuild his lakeside house. Honestly, it’s fairly basic, it’s somewhat basic formula, but for some reason – it works, and works well.

5. “Love Actually” (2003)
“Even better! Sam, you've got nothin' to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't! I never told your mom enough. I should have told her everyday because she was perfect everyday. You've seen the films, kiddo. It ain't over 'til its over.”



As far as romance goes, this film is perfect. The cast is perfect. Set in London, always a bonus. The things that work best in this film, is how it captures each and every possible nuance of every possible type of love. It shows you the love that a sister has for her brother. It shows the fleeting and flirtatious misplaced lust that a secretary has for her boss, and shows the mental anguish it put him through while considering her an option, while also showing you the fallout with his marriage. It shows you the true feelings between two porn-stand-ins, who have no problem being physically naked in front of each other, but find it awkward to be naked with their feelings towards one another. It shows you the failings of a young man, who decides to look for love across the pond. It shows you the budding romance between a powerful single man, and the woman he spends the most time with, while she’s organizing his life. It shows you the young budding romance of a little boy, who falls for his first girl. It shows you the hardship of losing love. It shows you the pain of watching the one you love, with your friend instead. It shows you the fact that true love and cross language barriers.

In all aspects of inter-twining story-telling, this film nails it. Perfectly. It’s not all about This boy loves that girl, while that girl longs for this boy. Instead, it just shows you everyday people, in different walks of intersecting lives, and how they love those people in their lives. It gets bonus points for being a Christmas film, but even if it wasn’t, it would be on this list.

4. “Untitled” (2000 – “Almost Famous”)
“That's because we're uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter.”



I remember standing in the booth at the Lafayette Square III, IV, V Cinema, hanging out with Jason, when he mentioned a screening of “Almost Famous” that was happening in Greenwood that night. Within minutes, he made the call to get me on the list, and I was flying at top speed down to the south side to watch the film, by one of my favorite directors.

The film is one of the best coming of age stories I’ve ever seen, and probably because it’s a fictionalized version of some true events in Cameron Crowe’s life. Toss in the fact that the 70s are a time period that I would die to live in, and experience the music and the love of the time, when everything was free and not corrupted like this modern world, this film is true escapism for me. It’s a really chance to attempt to enjoy the life on the road, touring with a band, listening and discussing great music, and just socializing with lots of great minds. Sure, there is some drama, and sure William Miller has an article to write, but those characters that eventually take form his in interview, and the characters of observation that make the film so enjoyable. With a supporting cast that’s just as wonderful as the main cast, it’s really a lot of fun to watch – and also the first time I feel in love with Zooey Deschnel. The unrequited love shown through the triangle of William-Penny-Jeff work so perfectly well.

While I really loved “Almost Famous”, the directors cut which was released on DVD is a hundred times better. “Untitled” includes another 40-ish minutes that expand the film, and actually shift the narrative from William Miller to Penny Lane. The majority of the added footage expands on her relationship with Jeff, and makes her seems a lot less “crazy” or “delusional” as she might come off in the theatrical cut. When you actually see some of the conversations that they have together, and how he actually leads her on, and treats her, it makes it a lot more understanding with how she views him, and develops feelings for him. It’s just a wonderful film about friendship and love, and true friendship.

3. “Hooligans” (2005 – “Green Street Hooligans”)
“You know the best part? It isn't knowing that your friends have your back. It's knowing that you have your friends' back.”



Great film that covers a lot of good things. First, getting screwed over by a “friend”. Second, going far away, in an attempt to discover yourself. Third, hiding who you really are, because of your fear of acceptance. Fourth, making some of the best friends of your life. And fifth, learning how to handle it all when everything comes out in the open.

It’s just an amazing film about friendship. Luckily, Lexi Alexander had the good mind to leave a long story out of the film, because it just didn’t belong. The one small love-side-story that is present is such a small part of the story, but is still so important, that it works perfectly. The violence isn’t even the best part of the film, the journey taken to gain the acceptance of the others is the best part. Watching our main character develop from a small Harvard student who gets walked all over, and mistreated, as he develops into one of the main influences in a hooligan gang, is a wonderful character study.

The most upsetting part of the film is the misconception that it’s about “soccer”. While football does play a massive plot driver, there is only two scenes in the entire film that involve football being played. The majority of the film takes place in pubs, and revolves around the social aspects of the clubs, and how their fights are really more about respect than violence. The best scene in the film is when Claire Forlani arrives at the hospital and has an emotional outburst towards Charlie Hunnam. Very, very emotional scene.

2. “Memento” (2001)
“Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts.”



Christopher Nolan’s second film on my list, and it deserves to be this high up. Because it took non-linear story-telling to an entirely new level. It wasn’t just flashing back in time through the film, it was cutting between two story-lines that were moving in opposite directions, until they met in the middle. The film is often misrepresented as being told “in reverse”, when this is incorrect. Only half of the film is told in reverse, the other half of the film is told in order, until they converge.

What makes this film even better is the DVD release, which allows you to watch the entire film in chronological order. Which basically makes it a completely different emotional monster. Instead of watching everything unfold into the big “pay off” between Leonard and Teddy, in the end of the original cut, while watching the film in chronological order, it completely changes the emotional lay-out of the film, and allows you to see how manipulated Leonard was by Teddy. In other words, “Memento” is so good of a film, that it’s actually TWO amazing films in one, and I love watching it both ways.

The characters are so well done. The concept is so interesting. It’s really awkward to admit that I enjoy watching the manipulations that happen to Leonard, by everyone he comes into contact with. Watching the things that Leonard does to attempt to help himself, are just really cool and very interesting to see how they play out.

1. “Mulholland Dr.” (2001)
“It'll be just like in the movies. Pretending to be somebody else.”



I’ve been obsessed with “Lost Highway” since the first time I saw it, and I’ve always enjoyed “Twin Peaks”. So, when I was given the chance to view this film at an early screening, I was in utopia.

This film was given Number One on my list for one simple reason, after my third viewing, I wrote a ten-page thesis on the meaning and plot of the film. It was later amended and edited by David Lichty. Any film that causes me to think that much, and process everything under such a microscope, is enjoyable to me. The dissection of the different storylines, and characters, and potential events that lead to various potential outcomes, makes me so involved that I enjoy everything about it. I enjoy the mystery, I enjoy the sexuality, I enjoy the bizarre. I enjoy it because it’s not cookie-cutter, because it’s not the typical brain-dead crap that Hollywood pumps out each and every week.

I have always been interested in seeing exactly where Lynch was planning on going with the story, if it would have been greenlit as a TV series. When you look back at “Twin Peaks” and the potential for “Mulholland Dr.” and compare it modern shows of “Lost” or “Flashforward”, it makes me believe that Lynch was just that far ahead of the curve, and Hollywood wasn’t ready.

I realize that I’ve done more in breaking down the concept of “Mulholland Dr.” than I have talking about the acting, or the story. The acting is what it is, and the characters are well portrayed. But the story, it’s not worth discussing with anyone who hasn’t seen the flick, because I don’t want to give anything away. Granted, even if I did, most people would still be pretty lost, which is another reason I love the film so much, because I believe it’s like a nice little club to be a part of, when the film is not too complex for you to understand. Or, to think you have an understanding of a potential interpretation of the film.



There it is. My top ten films in the last ten years.

I do have some honorable mentions:
“Adventureland”, “Serenity”, “Thank You for Smoking”, “The Fountain”, “Reign Over Me”, “Match Point”, “In the Land of Women”, “ The Last Kiss”, “Dirty Pretty Things”, “Hard Candy”, “Lilo & Stitch”

Finally, the ONE FILM that I regret I haven't seen yet, from the 2000s:

"My Life Without Me"


Netflix has it as unavailable. I'm going to have to find a copy to buy online.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Thank You, Paris M. Goodrum

Please visit the Thank You, Paris Goodrum Blog, started by Angie Engelhardt-Wittenberg, to read more stories and to submit you own Thank You to Angie.



Raise curtain.
Lights up.
Begin scene.

I was a fourteen year old freshman in high school, when I walked into third period in Paris Goodrum’s classroom on my first day of high school. I remember the stage at the back of the room, and I remember the black and white photos that adorned the walls.

That was fifteen years ago, which means that I have known this man for over half my life. But, the true reality of it, is that because I let my life get in the way, I’ve only had a few good years with him. Luckily for me, even when we were not in contact, the impression he left on my mind and soul have always been present, and have helped shape me into the person I am today.
It was November of 1994, when I was the only freshman male cast in “You Can’t Take it With You”, when I stood on stage and after each performance got to hear one of my senior cast mates give a “Thank You” speech to Mr. Goodrum, and how much he meant to them. It was at this moment, in my infancy of theatre experience, that I vowed to myself that I would be in all eight productions throughout high school, and in February of 1998 – that would be ME.

In a sad twist of fate, the Greater Power decided that wasn’t going to happen. It was fourteen months later, when Mr. Goodrum was forced to leave during production of “I Remember Mama” and it was in May of that year when it became official that Mr. Goodrum was going to have to retire from teaching. And with that decision, I was forced to forever give up that moment, in front of an auditorium of people, to publicly give thanks and adoration for the man who shaped me, taught me, and mentored me. It’s now, at this time, over ten years after my original planned time, that I take the time to open up my thoughts, feelings, and emotions to say “Thank You” to a man who I never got the chance before.

Henry David Thoreau. If Mr. Goodrum hadn’t have picked “The Night Thoreau Spent in Jail” for our Winter Play in February of 1995, I’d never have had my mind opened up to the transcendentalist philosophies of life. It would take eleven years, and numerous readings of “Walden” and “Civil Disobedience” before I made it to Concord, Massachusetts to visit Walden Pond, and see the history I had read about.

It was in November of 1995, during the production of “My Sister Eileen”, when I finally got Mr. Goodrum to allow me to read “Dear, High School” – the play that Mr. Goodrum had written, and performed at least once during his time at Lawrence Central. Mr. Goodrum said that his plan was to make this his final play, the year he decided to retire from teaching. I can’t lie when I admit, that in my perfect world, that would have been my senior year. More importantly, my senior year would have been mr. Goodrum’s 30th year of teaching, and I often told him, “Thirty years would be a good time to quit”. Sadly, he only made it to twenty-eight, and more sad is that life took us both in different directions. Those who know me, know that I have OCD tendencies, and when something important in my life changes, I do not adjust well to those changes. Instead of going into my junior year with aspirations of continuing my theatre career, I went in as wayward student who no longer knew where or what he wanted to do. This arrogant and egotistical person that I turned into, rebelled against the new regime of the theatre department, and quickly found myself an exile from it, at which point I walked away for good.

I can’t remember if it was 1998 or 1999, but I remember Mr. Goodrum contacting me to let me know that there was a showing of his play “Quanita and Beula vs. the Killer Squirrel”. It was in the basement of a Seniors Center, if I remember correctly. I’m going to have to go to my Parent’s house and dig through some old boxes to try and find the program, which I hope I still have. I remember sitting next to Mr. Goodrum during the production.

In 2000, Jason L. Maier and I went over to Mr. Goodrum’s house numerous times with copies of the script for our first film, “Consternate”. Mr. Goodrum read our various drafts, and did a lot of work with us on character development, among other things. I learned a lot about the revision and development processes from those long afternoons sitting in his kitchen, and going page by page through the script, and figuring out what worked, what didn’t, what could be cut, and what needed to be explained better. It was the last time I saw Mr. Goodrum was in January of 2001, right before I moved to Los Angeles, when I stopped by his house to drop off a DVD copy of “Consternate”. Once I got settled in L.A., we continued to keep in touch via snail mail, and I know somewhere I have a few letters written to me from Mr. Goodrum.

Upon returning from California, I made the mistake of allowing my life to get in the way. Girlfriend, wife, job, film-making, etc… etc… They were all excuses, and none of them are good ones. I failed. Not in a life-threatening way, but in a “I failed to keep in contact with someone I should have way”. But, those ripples continued across the water of my life. I re-read “Walden”, I continued to write, I tried to act in a few of our films. All of these things are leaves, which grew from the branches that I am, from the tree trunk that was Mr. Goodrum. Please let me assure you that this is a HUGE tree trunk, with hundreds of branches growing from it, each branch with many leaves to show the accomplishments of the trunk.

It was October 15th, of 2009 when I was contacted by Angie Engelhardt-Wittenberg, who was in all four of the productions that I was in. She had found a blog I wrote about the time I went to Walden Pond, where I made mention to Mr. Goodrum’s influence on that part of my life. Angie informed me that she wanted to start a blog, where all of Mr. Goodrum’s former students could come and say “Thank You” to the man who mentored so many of us. That brings us to today. And two hours ago, I was sitting in Mr. Goodrum’s living room, talking to him, catching up with him, reminiscing about high school and other times we’d spent together. He said the added weight looked good on me (I disagreed with him), he liked the film strip tattoo, but really liked the profile comedy and tragedy masks tattoo. He made comments about the blonde spiked hair, and told me that despite the changes, he could still see the student he remembered. We talked about the various projects I’ve done over the past eight years, and I was surprised when he asked if he could read any of them. I talked to him about my transition from film into my current project writing a novel. He admitted that his mind is too far-gone to help with any revisions, but he would still love to read whatever I will let him – and I will let him read it all. While he claims he couldn’t do revisions, I still feel like I could sit and have discussions with him, that will involve his insight – which would be just as good to me.

“There is a part in each one of us that never gets over high school.” This is a quote from Paris M. Goodrum today. I told him that I agreed 100%. I fell in love for the first time in high school, with someone I still randomly hear from to this day. Two of the best men in my wedding were my friends from freshman year to graduation, to this very evening. I was exposed to theatre and to the artists lifestyle in high school. It was a care-free and enjoyable time of my life, and I agree that a very large part of me has never moved on, or gotten over what my life was at that point. Mr. Goodrum and I were talking about my novel, and I was giving him the basics of it, and how it revolved around the death of friend, and a group of friends thinking back over the ten years that brought all of them to where they are now, the lies, the secrets, the things we do to keep our friendships as solid as we can. It was at this time that I asked if I could once again borrow “Dear, High School” so that I could re-read it, and see what kind of creative juices could get flowing from reading his play.

I made a decision today, that I want to keep Mr. Goodrum a part of my life for as long as I can. Last year, I lost two grandparents, and only have one left, who lives in Iowa, and I don’t get to see as often as I would like. I want to make sure he knows what he has meant to me, and I want to help him as much as I can. Seeing him in a deteriorating physical condition really hit me in a way that made me sad. I have offered to come over anytime he will let me, and told him that I want to see him as much as I can, talk to him, and hear the things he has to say about my writing.

And, the biggest thing on my mind right now is taking Angie’s idea one step farther. The idea of attempting to put together a documentary on Mr. Goodrum is brewing in my brain. Trying to hunt down as much documentation and pictures as I can from his time at Lawrence Central. Trying to hunt down students and getting their thoughts and feelings on film. Interviewing teachers who taught with him, and others in the performing arts department. I’d love to sit and do interviews with Mr. Goodrum about his many years of teaching, about his many productions and his favorites. I’ve love to pick his brain, and hear all of the stories that he wants to share. I believe it’s an idea I’m going to bring up to Mr. Goodrum at some point, because while I could do it without his involvement, I have to believe that it would be increasingly better with his support.

Mr. Goodrum is directly responsible for my passion and love of the arts, which is still present in my to this day. I entered his classroom as a wide-eyed naïve freshman, who didn’t know what he was getting involved with. Through him, and his student directors, I was able to be molded into someone who fell deeply in love with performing, with art, with storytelling, with physical arrangement, and with emotional connection to an audience. There’s a large number of people and events that have shaped my life, and Mr. Goodrum is one of the most important, because we met at a time when my mind needed to be molded, and he was the sculptor who took on the task. And now it is up to me, to make sure everyone sees his positive molding in all of my works.

Lights fade.
Spotlight on Mr. Goodrum.
Applause.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Shane's Answers to a Successful Circle of Blog Postings

So, Troy has started something pretty cool.
It's one of those things that proves the power of the internet - and I think it's one of the great things about blogging. Troy has come up with something that seems to be spreading through our blog circle, and I would have gladly done this sooner, if I would spend more time on the computer at home. But, I'm sitting here now, and I am going to make the time to do this.

So, it started with Troy's blog about his one year anniversary.
The first to answer was John Peddie.
Jason contributed his answers on Friday.
Mike kept it going on Saturday.
And now tonight, I'm going to give my simple answers.



What is the first film you ever saw?

"Return of the Jedi".
And the strangest part was, I didn't even remember it until I was in first grade. We had the picture book movie adaptation to the movie in my classroom. I was looking at it one day, and the first picture in the book was C-3P0 and R2-D2 walking up to Jabba's Palace. I remembered that image, but didn't know why. So I took the book home from class and asked my parents about it. They then told me they did take me to the movies to see it.


What is your favorite film of all time?
"Abre los Ojos".
The character development is amazing. The story is really strong, and confusing - but as you learn more and it explains itself, it gets even better. Being forced to choose between life, friends, and love is a really crazy scene on the roof. And finally, when you learn how far one person was willing to go, because of their insecurities, the final shot of the film is wicked awesome.


What is your favorite line in a film?
"You know the best part? It isn't knowing that your friends have your back. It's knowing that you have your friends' back."

-Green Street Hooligans


What film made you realize that film was an art?
"Memento".

While "Pulp Fiction" was my first experience with non-linear storytelling, it wasn't until Christopher Nolan showed me how you can start at the end, tell me how it's going to end, and then still keep me interested, as I watch backwards and see how everyone was manipulating Leonard. The best, is actually watching the film in linear order, and seeing how it's a completely different film, and watching the manipulation play out is so dramatic.


What movie do you consider your guilty pleasure?
"Coyote Ugly".
Yes, it's a cheesy movie.
Yes, there is Leann Rhimes' music is in the film (but so is EMF!).
But, lots of beautiful women, dancing, and liquor - does it get better?


Who is your favorite movie character of all time?
Sam. Liam Neeson's stepson in "Love Actually".
The innocence of youth's outlook on love - perfect.


What is your favorite movie snack food?
Red Vines.
Thanks to Dione for introducing me to them many, many moons ago. I still eat them to this day.


Who is your favorite director of all time?
Cameron Crowe.
I really enjoy directors who write and direct their own work.
I like stories that are personal and emotional, and actually have meaning.
I think Crowe writes some really good scenes, has a very good knowledge of comedic timing and dramatic pacing. I like his looks at characters, and his accentuation of character flaws. No one is perfect in Crowe films, and I enjoy his exploration of how our flaws are what truly make us who we are.
I'm also a huge fan of he music he chooses for his films. I really enjoy the use of specific songs to compliment the visuals and dramatic situations.


Who is the most impressive filmmaker working today?
J.J. Abrams.
Aside from directing the Pilot episode of "Lost" and being one of the masterminds behind that show, as well as "Fringe" and the film "Cloverfield" - I think his two films are very well done. And I look forward to anything that has his name on it, especially if he's the director.

While "Mission: Impossible III" is not a good part of the "Mission: Impossible" franchise - it is a really, really good action film. Once again, starting with the nonlinear storytelling method of revealing "the end" (or close to the end) at the beginning of the film, really makes it enjoyable to watch the progression to get back to that point where you know you will eventually get to.

And, the more recent re-boot of "Star Trek" was so perfect, on so many levels. I find that Abrams is wonderful at casting, and getting perfect performances from his talent.


What quality do the best directors share?
Emotional connection.
A movie can be good, but if I don't emotionally connect with one of the characters, and really feel a true sense of their purpose, devotion, and feelings - the film is just good. For me to really love a film, I need character exploration and a vested interest in their personal journey.


Who is your favorite actor/actress of all time?
Jimmy Stewart.
"It's a Wonderful Life", "Rear Window", "Vertigo" and "Harvey" are all pimp.


Who is your favorite actor/actress working today?
Liam Neeson.
"Love Actually", "Taken", "Batman Begins", "Gangs of New York", "Schindler's List", "Michael Collins".


Who would you cast in a film about your life?
Charlie Hunnam.
Although, I don't know if he can do an American accent???
I've sen him with a shaved head and with long hair - I'm not sure how he would look with a faux-hawk.


Finish these sentences:

If you could remake one movie...
"Along Came a Spider".
The novel by James Patterson is SO AMAZING, and they ruined it in the film. Most importantly - the killing of Gary Soneji. A villain who goes on to torment Alex Cross for the next five books - most often in a roundabout way - not as the direct bad guy, until later, when he becomes hell-bent on killing Alex's entire family. The also completely changed the storyline about the kidnapping of the children, and horribly changed the first plot twist, when you find out who else was involved in the kidnappings. The 10 chapters of the book between Cross and Soneji while he's holding a McDonald's hostage is amazing - and needs to be included in the film. Soneji's year of confinement, while they still can't find the girl is also very important to the overall story and character development of the "bad guys". Also, the entire opening of the film was a waste, and not in the book - Cross never had a female partner that was killed like that. Neither of the current films address Alex's wife's murder - which is something that I would want to include in my telling of the story, as I think it's important to Alex's character development and explanation for many of his actions.


I never wanna watch a movie with...
...the name Uwe Boll attached to it.


The perfect movie is...
...Emotion Invoking.

Thanks to Troy for making this group of questions, and getting so many people to participate.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I Didn't Even Get To Count Backwards

Nurse: "Hey there, how are you feeling?"
Me: "I didn't even get to count backwards..."

That's the first thing I remember after waking up from the anesthesia. And I'm not lying, I at that point, I was really bummed that they never asked me to count backwards. But it didn't matter for long, because I began to come to and realized that my surgery was over, and I was on my way to physically returning to "normal".

But, that's the end of the story. We've got a lot to cover before that.

This story goes all the way back to 2004.
In February of 2004 - FIVE years ago - I become involved with a group of guys who started an inline hockey league here in Indianapolis. I hadn't played serious hockey in years, and I was happy about gettin
Publish Post
g back into shape, and playing a sport that I loved. We played for six months, all the way into August. We cleaned out a ice rink on the southside of Indianapolis, and played on the concrete under a real rink. We had boards and benches, and it all worked out perfectly.

Sometime during those six months, the pain began.
It was just something minor, on my left side, lower abdomen. Just a little pinch. Nothing serious, and it didn't happen all the time. It was most painful right after playing hockey, and would normally go away after a few hours. Randomly, it would flare up here and there, but nothing common.

Post hockey, the pain seemed to go away. I eventually just assumed it was to be attributed to me being out of shape, and it was my old body telling me that I needed to work out more.

The first physical sign was in late 2004. I was still working at Kerasotes, and I remember going to the bathroom, when I noticed that there was some kind of bulge in my groin area. Nothing big, and it didn't really hurt, but it was only on one side, and it was kind of awkward. In my personal denial, I once again chalked it up to being out of shape, and convinced myself that I needed to exercise more and it would "melt" away - like the fat in my stomach I was trying to get rid of.

2004 and was the last year that I was physically "active" at my job. Once I left Kerasotes and went to Republic Theatres - I was basically in a desk job, which required very little standing. Aside from getting change for my employees, or the occasional shift time on Box Office, I didn't do much standing. Even when I ran the booth, we had a chair upstairs, so I had plenty of time to sit down. After the hockey incident, and the pain, I had kind of given up any physical activities for a while.

2005 went by with just the occasional flare-up of pain, but nothing serious or noteworthy.

The came 2006. The year when everything changed for the worse in my life.
It was March of 2006, and I remember waking up in bed one morning with a serious pain in my groin. I reached my hand down and felt myself, but didn't feel anything out of the ordinary. Then, I stood up to go to the bathroom, and gravity took over the insides of my body, and I felt "something" inside of my "move" - OR - "slide" downward through my groin area. I freaked out. It obviously was NOT normal, and it hurt badly. After going to the bathroom, I laid back down, and could once again feel my insides (which I have since learned were my intestines...) "slide" back around inside of me, and upon my personal examination, I seemed to be back to normal.

The odd thing, after the first time, it didn't happen every time. I don't know if things got "mixed up" inside of me, and gravity couldn't always pull it down, or what, but sometimes I would be "normal" and other times I would have a large bulging mass in my groin. It was not a fun time.

To top matters off, things with Kristen were well on their road to demise. We hadn't been having sex for some time, so it wasn't something she ever knew about, saw, or felt. Sadly, that's definitely a bad thing - because with her personality, she would have forced me to go to the doctor - despite my hatred/fear of them. And I probably would have had this fixed in March of 2006.

Instead, I kept it all to myself, and ultimately screwed myself over.

While married, I was on Kristen's insurance, and she worked for an insurance company - so from what I remember her benefits rocked, or so I was told. Kristen and I split up in April of 2006, and by June of 2006, I could tell that something was seriously wrong with the inside of my body. Despite Kristen and I's hatred towards each other at the time - I reached out with a small amount of hope. I sent her a text message in June that said, "By any chance, am I still on your insurance? If so, I need help." She was kind enough to respond, but her response was "No, I took you off a while ago." Fair enough. Once she knew she was going to file the divorce paperwork, why would she leave her soon to be ex-husband on her insurance plan? I don't blame her for it, it was all just some seriously bad timing in life. Had Kristen and I not been so unhappy together, and fighting so often, and been devoid of all sexual contact - then it's probable to assume that this would have been resolved in 2006, and would have been paid for by insurance.

But, that's not how the cards of my life played out. Instead, I was in a bad marriage and it ended in a way that prevented me from getting it fixed at that time. So, I was forced to move on in life, and live with the pain. I call 2006, "The Year of Naproxin Sodium". It was the painkiller of choice at that time. Despite the pain, after my divorce, I was attempting to get healthier and back in shape, so in April, May and June, Jason and I were going out and playing a lot of basketball (until his move out of the state). Yes, it hurt, but somewhere in the denial of my own mind, I thought that maybe if I lost weight, this whole thing would go away. I was dumb, and I can admit it. To make matters worse, I decided to begin using a weight-loss pill, and I bought a lot of them. It was around this time - July/August of 2006, that I noticed the bulge was growing in size and getting more painful. One day, when I was taking the weight-loss pills, I decided to read the box, at which point it informed me - the reader - not to use the product if there was a family history of hernias (among other things). At this point, I had no idea if there was any hernia history in my family - but I began doing my own personal research into hernias, along with Sports Hernias, which is how this whole thing began. Sports hernias are very common amongst hockey players, so there's no real telling when this whole thing was set into motion. It could have been many, many years ago in high school - who knows? I immediately discontinued using the pills. 2006 went on, and so did the pain.

2007 was "The Year of Advil". After so many months of using Naproxin Sodium, I was up well over 10,00mgs a day. They basically became candy to me, and I needed that many for my body to even function daily. So, I finally switched over to Advil, which I could get by with roughly six Extra Strength Advil a day. Over the course of the year, that number got larger and larger.

February 15th of 2007 was the first day I made any public knowledge of my situation.
I believe I finally broke down and told my parents a day or two beforehand, and then finally blogged about it on the 15th - almost two years ago. I remember that day vividly, as I was working at Fazetron-STTV, and standing in the lobby of my store, while talking to Jason on the phone. He had read my blog, and called me, and I broke down crying on the phone to him. He was the first friend I opened up to about the situation. A number of other friends asked about it, but I told them I didn't want to talk about it until after it was resolved. In some ways, I've been writing this blog since that day - in my head. I honestly never planned on it taking this long to get myself fixed. I was wrong.

The biggest issue was the fact that in my research, I learned that Insurance Companies consider hernias a "pre-existing" condition, therefore they won't cover it if it was present before my insurance coverage started - this is why being on Kristen's Insurance, while the bulge was small, was my only hope of getting any insurance company to pay for it. I remember in late 2007, my friend Matt had hernia surgery, and it was a fiasco with him, because our insurance company for the movie theatre tried to claim it was "pre-existing" and they didn't want to pay it. I remember him telling me about the battle that it took to get them to pay. This scared me, and made me realize that I really had no chance of getting anyone else to pay for it.

2008 became known as "The Year of Acetaminophen". 500mg tablets of Extra Strength Tylenol became my best friends. I'd take six in the morning, six in the afternoon, and six in the evening by the end of the year. That's 9,000mgs of acetaminophen each day.

Yes, I can admit that I have a problem. I have been addicted to painkillers for a long, long time. They make the pain go away, and that's all I wanted and needed. That's going to be the next phase of my life, is trying to make sure I can get myself off painkillers, and convince myself that I don't need them anymore. But, that's a different battle for a different day - and I'm getting off on a tangent again.

January to September of 2008 were life as "normal" - still at the theatre, still without insurance, still in pain - but I was still at my sit behind a desk job, walk around whenever I felt the need to. It helped keep the pain to a minimal, and I was able to survive. Then came the wonderful news that I was being let go from my job, which ultimately led me to employment at The Spot. And while I love my job so much, it's a complete change from what I used to do. This job requires me to stand for long periods of time, and be constantly moving. Within just the first few months of working there, I noticed that the bulge in my groin was getting larger and larger and more and more painful.

New Year's Eve of 2009 was the day that forced everything to change. I went to work at 6pm, and didn't get home until 6:30am. I take a nap, and then when I woke up I climbed into a nice, hot bath. I was sore. I was in pain. An insanely intense and unbearable amount of pain. I could barely walk, but not because of my feet - because of my groin. It was a very dark time in my life, one of the darkest I can remember. I laid in the bathtub, crying, wondering why this had to happen to me. As pathetic as it makes me sound, I laid in that bathtub, on New Year's Day, and wished that I could end my life. I was in so much pain, and was so tired of suffering, that I wished for the easy way out. Like I said, it was the darkest part of my life in many, many years. Many "bad" thoughts flooded through my brain. All the failures of my life piled up. My failed marriage, losing my job, relying on my parents for financial help, etc... I felt like there was nothing good left in my life. It was dark inside my head that day. I was sad. I was depressed. I was in pain. I hated my life. I loathed my life. I spent a good amount of time trying to figure out the easiest way to actually take my life. It was a dark day.

The good news was that eventually I grew up. I cried my eyes out. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. And I decided that I needed to do something intelligent and stop thinking all of these moronic and horrible thoughts. It was a Cowardly Hour of my life, that I'm ashamed to admit happened. Luckily, I never came anywhere near actually attempting anything. It was all foolish thoughts in my head, and eventually common sense kicked me in the butt and told me I was being an idiot.

For the first time that I can ever remember, I actually fulfilled my New Year's Resolution. Because sitting in that warm water on New Year's Day, I told myself that I would get this situation resolved in 2009.

I think it was a couple of days into 2009 that I talked to my parents about everything, and we began discussing options. A few days later, I made my appointment with St. Vincent's - which wasn't going to be until March 9th. After more talking with my parents, we decided that instead of going somewhere that was based on income, we should look into somewhere that specialized in this type of surgery, so that we knew what we were getting into. Instead of getting a "cheap" doctor who is working for small amount of money, we decided to find someone who did this regularly and knew exactly what they were doing.

We settled on the Hernia Center Plus.
We made my first doctor's appointment for January 28th. A LOT sooner than St. Vincent's. Then, January 28th came, and Indianapolis was hit with a wonderful BLIZZARD. My car was trapped at work from the night before - which was okay since my parents were picking me up, but when I called the office - they said that there was no guarantee that the Doctor was going to make it in that day. So, we rescheduled. The schedule was full the following Tuesday, which made my appointment on February 11th. Then, my surgery should have been on the 17th - however, the doctor was going to be out of town, so we had to wait an extra week. That brings us to Today.

Today.
Amazingly, I slept well last night.
I fell asleep around 2:00am - which was a bummer, since I missed some texts, specifically the one from Brittany. I woke up at 9:00am, which began a long three hour wait in my apartment, until my parents picked me up. Then, the LONGEST day of my life began. It seemed like all I did was wait. The surgery was scheduled for 12:45pm. I got there before 12:30pm, and waited in the waiting room until almost 1:00pm, when they finally took me to the first room. I got naked and then sat around for what seemed like a half hour (it was probably 10 minutes), before I was taken to another room, where I laid in a bed, got some shots, and then had an IV stuck into my hand. Yes, the back of my hand! It felt like a sword being shoved under my skin - it was painful. Whatever nice fluids were pumped into my body pretty much numbed the right side of me, which was weird, because I could freely move my left arm, but my right arm didn't want to co-operate very well. After lying there forever, and I seriously mean forever, I had a number of nurses come and introduce themselves to me, and tell me I was okay - I think everyone knew how nervous I was.

I laid in that bed for a while. Bored. Lots of thoughts rushing through my head. Thinking about lots of the things and people in my life right now. Anything positive that would keep my mind off of the fact that I was going to be cut open and messed with. Finally, the Doc showed up. We talked for a minute, and then he was gone. Then I finally started moving - I watched the ceiling tiles one by one, while I felt my heart rate begin to go back up - I tried to divert my thoughts back to happier things, but then we entered the surgical room. and despite my contacts being out - I could clearly see the large table with huge lights hanging above it.

I remember being lifted from the moving bed, onto the surgery table.
I remember looking up at the lights.
I remember someone telling me they were going to put something in my nose to help me breath.

Nurse: "Hey there, how are you feeling?"
Me: "I didn't even get to count backwards..."

I don't remember the anesthesia at all. I don't know when it happened. My last surgery in 2001 - they put the ask over my face and asked me to count backwards from 20. I remember saying 19, and that's it. This time - BAM. Wake up. No counting.

Nurse: "We don't really do that here."
Me: "Really? That sucks, I really wanted to count backwards."
Nurse: "I'm sorry..."

And then I dropped it. It was no more. It was over. Probably because I really needed to get up and go to the bathroom. Amazingly, I was awake and alert when I got up. I felt good, I felt fine. I made it to the bathroom - no problems. I got dressed - no problems. I could not get my contacts in, so I just waited until I got home and put in two brand new ones.

I honestly felt good most of the night. I wasn't in too much pain, at first. Over time, it became obvious to me that whatever wonderful numbing stuff they used on my groin - it faded away over time. As the night went on, it hurt more and more to move. Luckily, I get the pleasure of taking Vicodin! Yippy! They seem to help, and I'm sticking to the 2 pills per four hours requirement, even though near the end of the third hour, I'm in pretty significant pain.

I had done some DVD work for Jason McNear, so he swung by after he got off work, and talked to me while I finished it up and made him a second copy. McNear had previously had this surgery, so we got to talk about it a lot, and he told me what his recovery was like.

Later on, my Parents came back over. They bought me a thermometer, because I'm supposed to call the doctor if I ever get a temperature over 100 degrees. Luckily, I feel fine, although my last temp was 97.0 - which is a little low. Oh well, I feel just fine. My parents hung out for a little while, and we had a good talk.

Some friends had texts waiting for me when I got home.
Some new I would be home around 5pm, so I got texts from them almost right at 5pm.
Around 6pm, I sent out a mass text to my friends, letting them know that I was alive and well. I got a lot of responses from people, and some of my closer friends and I carried on some longer conversations. Zach called me and we talked for a while. He's thinking about stopping by tomorrow night after work. Sarah and I had a couple of long texts, she's been really helpful and supportive over the past few days. Jim called and said that he and Jae are planning on bringing over some pizza tomorrow night. Mike and I had a lot of conversations, and he kept offering to bring various food items over to me, but I told him to just go out and enjoy Tuesday Night at The Fox - where we all typically hang out on Tuesday nights. I think Mike might stop by at some point tomorrow too.

Troy, Dave, and Justin all left nice supportive messages on my blog. And Jason called me last night.

I'm blessed. I really am. I've got amazing Parents who have helped me through all of this. I've got some great Friends who have been super supportive, and are all willing to do a number of nice things for me, while I'll immobile. I'm blessed.

And now I'm on my road to recovery. In 2004, I weight 170lbs. Today I weighed in at 205lbs. I don't know if the hernia is entirely to blame - but I know it's prevented me from working out on a regular basis. It's made almost all physical activities painful. Hopefully, in six weeks, I can begin to start exercising and working out again - and with any luck, drop my weight back down to 170. I wasn't happy at 170 when I was there, but I will be happier there than where I am at.

Today is the start of a new life for me. Less pain. Better positive mental attitude.

My Five Year Long Ordeal of Pain is coming to a close. The finish line is in sight, and I can't wait to get there. Life is beginning to look up again. And after some of the texts I exchanged today - I think I have a lot to look forward to in the future.