Sunny Skies Don't Always Mean It's a Bright Day

UPDATE - July 14th 12:29pm:
GRANDMA'S OBITUARY from the Times-Republican.
GRANDMA'S OBITUARY from the Funeral Home.
There's not a lot there, but it's something.

It's a beautiful day outside, here in Indianapolis.
The sun is shining, and its a fair 80 degrees, not too hot.
Under different circumstance, I would love to be outside finishing "Marley & Me" or heading to the pool to get wet and soak up some more sun.

It's been a long time coming, and I've been doing my best to prepare myself for this event. At 9:13am this morning, I lost my other Grandmother. My Father's Mother died three years ago now. It's hard to believe it was that long ago. The other thing that's somewhat depressing is that I have not gone back to Iowa, since Kristen and I went back for her funeral. Meaning, I had not seen my Mother's Mother in over four years. It's amazing how fast time flies, but it all seems to slow down and come into perspective when an event like this happens. I feel like a bad family member, for not making an attempt to get back to Iowa AT ALL in the past four years. I'll easily fly to Boston or Los Angeles for a weekend to hang out with my friends, but I never made the effort to and visit my aging grandparents. Perhaps I continued to live in this small, pathetic world where I thought this couldn't happen. I don't know if I've accepted that my Grandma White is gone, and I don't know how long its going to take to accept Grandma Flather's death.

The past two months have kind of prepared me for this event, but I kept having hope that things weren't going to go this way. My Grandparents live in a small town in Iowa, called Marshalltown. It's about an hour north of the capital of Iowa, Des Moines. About two months ago, Grandma Flathers was taken to the hospital for some problems. The next two months of her life would become a roller-coaster of health. She'd be extremely ill and spend a week in the hospital, then she would seem to recover, and eventually get sent home. Usually this would only last a day, or two, before she would have to make another trip to the hospital, and spend more nights there. I can't even remember the numers of surgeries she's had, it seems like the wonderfully high-paid doctors couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong with her. They found a part of her small intestine that was dead - so they removed that. They found other problems, and tried to fix them. Ultimately, it seems like all they did was prolong her life ever so briefly.

My Mother would constantly send Scott and I emails - pretty much daily - updating us on what was going on. Sadly, the one day that I attempted to call my Grandmother in the hospital, she was asleep, and I only got to speak to my Grandfather. After that day, my Mother would tell me in emails, "it wasn't a good day for Grandma, I'd wait a day or two before trying to call her..." It just never seemed to be a good day, and I never got the chance to talk to her. While driving home from my parent's house today, it took me a long time to think back to when I last talked to my Grandmother. Finally, I'm pretty sure that I talked to her on my birthday. I remember being at my parent's house, and my mother bringing me her cell phone so that my Grandparents could tell me "Happy Birthday". My Grandmother had been in and out of the hospital, and never able to send me a birthday card this year. I was told that she was very sorry that she never got it sent.

There was a brief point, a little over two weeks ago, where it looked like I was going to skip my Great Vacation '08 to Wisconsin and end up going to Iowa. My parents spent the 4th of July week/weekend back in Marshalltown, providing support to my Grandfather - along with many of my Aunts and Uncles. I seriously considered backing out of the Wisconsin Dells trip, and making the trip with my parents. But, a few days before I left for Wisconsin, Grandma seemed to be doing better. So, I went ahead and made the choice to continue with my vacation with my friends. The reports I got from my mother that week made it sound like things were getting better, so I wasn't too worried. Remember, I live in this little fantasy world, were nothing bad would happen to my family.

I got the bad news around 10:30pm last night. I was out at the bar, with a ton of friends. A friend of mine was in town from Arizona, so we were hanging out and having a good time. I had talked to my parents during the day, and I knew that Grandma had been taken back to the hospital in Marshalltown, and they had determined that they needed to rush her to the hospital in Des Moines. My Uncle and Cousin were in Tennessee, drag racing this weekend, so they swung up to Indy and picked up my Mother to take her back to Iowa with them. But, when my phone rang late at night, and it was my Father, I had a bad feeling. I went outside, and answered the phone and found out what happened at the hospital. The doctors cut open my Grandmother, and didn't do anything. They immediately sewed her back up and told my relatives that there was nothing they could do for her. Her body was basically shutting itself down and various parts were beyond repair.

Luckily, my Uncle Don and my Mother made it to the hospital in time to talk to her.

Death really puts lots of things into perspective. It's one of the few, true, set-in-stone defininates in life. There's no reversing it. I've had a number of conversations in the past week, discussing the death of Heath Ledger. With "The Dark Knight" opening this coming weekend, I know its been on a lot of people's minds, and I've talked with a number of people about how sad it is that such an amazing actors had to die so young. He will NEVER do another role. But, as sad as that fact is, it's worse to know that I'll never get another birthday card from my Grandma Flathers.

I owe a special THANK YOU to all my friends who I was hanging out with last night. Troy, most of all. Troy was with me when I was on the phone with my Mother, trying to find out exactly what was going on. Troy was ready to drop everything and drive me out to Iowa to be with my Grandmother. Just the gesture meant a lot to me. I got numerous hugs from Brandy, Amanda, and Stephanie. And my Dudes were very supportive and helping as well. Jason randomly called me, and he allowed me to vent to him about things. Also, Dave Maier was kind enough to call and check in on me today. Its times like these that I realize I have such good friends. I hope they know how appreciated their concern is.

So, I'm pulling a double at work tomorrow. Then, its off to Iowa for the rest of the week. Showing, Funeral, Crappy-Circumstances Family Reunion. I'll get to see a lot of my family that I haven't seen in over four years, so I suppose its good that I'm going back, I only wish it was under better circumstances, and I wish I had done a better job of making my way back to Iowa before now. I think I am going to make a purposeful and conscious effort EVERY year to at least get back to Iowa for a couple of days. Just to spend some time with both of Grandfathers. Because, who knows how long they have left. My Grandpa White was in town with my Aunt and Uncle the night before I left for Wisconsin, and sadly it didn't even seem like my Grandpa remembered me. It was a little depressing, but aside from that: Grandpa White can still play Pinnochle pretty darn good!

Now that I've gotten all this off my chest, maybe I can actually go outside and enjoy some of this bright and sunny weather. The back porch, a Blue Moon, and my book...