Experiment in Living - By Shane M. White

"We Bought a Zoo" Review

2011-11-29T16:26:00.003-05:00

There has always been something special about Cameron Crowe in my life. Since I was a freshman in high school, I’ve had a love of two things: film and music. My romantic youth was defined by the films that I saw, and the actions that I attempted to emulate. What child didn’t grow up fantasizing about Phoebe Cates emerging from their swimming pool in slow motion while “Moving in Stereo” was playing? Epically staged action, such as standing in a driveway with a boombox blasting Peter Gabriel became the standard by which I believed I had to match in order to show affection to women. In December of 1996, I took a girl named Amber on our first date to see “Jerry Maguire” and visual moments like the two of them standing in the street as Bruce Springsteen’s “Secret Garden” begins to really kick in. Unrequited love, grandiose gestures, and the simplicity of the look in her eyes on a first date; these small things became pressure-trapped in me like bits of dust.

I was nineteen when I saw “Singles” for the first time, and for the first time I was made consciously aware of the impression that Cameron Crowe’s music had on my emotional attachment to various cinematic moments. One year later, my mind was forever blown open to the power of music, when I was given the opportunity to attend an advance screening of “Almost Famous”. That was the day that everything changed. That was the day that I realized how badly I wanted to be a writer, and how much I loved music, and the emotional connection it has with people.

The thing that Cameron Crowe has always done perfectly is give me characters that I can relate to and identify with. From Mark’s quiet yearning for Stacy despite her attraction to the bad boy who is just using her to Lloyd’s unfaltering commitment to Diane, no matter how much she pushes him away. I witnessed the good and the bad of young love, and I learned that sometimes too big of an ego could really be a person’s downfall. Finally, I learned the true power of music. Anyone who knows me, if I told you the number of times that I turned off the lights, and listened to “Tommy” with a candle burning – no one would be surprised by the number.

“Elizabethtown” seemed to build on what was originally touched on in “Jerry Maguire” and I further learned that no matter how badly of a screw up one may be – there are always bigger problems in life.

I only have one small blemish in my love of Cameron Crowe. My all-time favorite film is a Spanish film titled “Abre los Ojos” – which was remade into an American film known as “Vanilla Sky”. My all-time favorite film was being remade by my all-time favorite director. A director who had emotionally directed me through the majority of my life, and put me on a musical journey that has prevented me from listening to the majority of the Crap-Called-Music Post-1998. What could go wrong? Sadly, everything. So, If I have it in my heart to forgive George Lucas for the terribleness we came to know as the Prequel Trilogy, then I must have the room to forgive Cameron Crowe for a subpar representation of a film that I am obviously over-invested in.

That’s the short and simple version of my life inspired by Cameron Crowe, which brings us up to the fall of 2011, where I’ve been patiently waiting for five years for anything from the director who always knows how to bring me to a new emotional level. I got a great fill over the past two months. First, I got to see “Pearl Jam Twenty” a few times on the big screen, and have had multiple viewings at home since the DVD was released. I was always a fan of Pearl Jam, but not to the extent of many of my friends. I listened to their music, and I enjoyed it. It wasn’t until 2006, when David Sibley took me to my first Pearl Jam concert in Cincinnati that I truly saw the power this band had on its fans. It’s a show that I will never forget, and I was lucky enough that they performed “Baba O’Reilly” at this show. So, it was another perfect marriage. A band that I really enjoyed was being documented by favorite director, who just happened to be a guy that basically grew up next to them in the entertainment industry. It was enjoyable on so many levels.

So, when I found out about the month-in-advance screenings of “We Bought a Zoo”, I did everything in my power to make sure that I would be able to attend it – and I’m very happy that I did. Whatever bitter taste anyone may have had in their mouth after “Elizabethown” should easily be washed away with this well-made film.

Last October, I had just started back to work in the film exhibition industry, and within my first few days of work, I stumbled across an article discussing the casting of Cameron Crowe’s next film, and I learned it was based on a novel – “We Bought a Zoo: The Amazing True Story of a Young Family, a Broken Down Zoo, and the 200 Wild Animals That Changed Their Lives Forever.” – which I told myself I was going to read before I saw the film. As per usual, life got in the way, and over time I learned that Crowe and his co-writer had made some changes to the story and relocated it away from the British countryside into Southern California. It was at this point, that I decided to not allow my love of British and European culture to become conflicted with the vision of my favorite director – as it had previously happened with “Abre los Ojos”. Without any source material, Mr. Crowe had nothing to live up to in the expectations of my mind. I still found myself in a sad quandary, as my favorite film director was about to tackle one of my least favorite genres of film-making: The Bio-Pic. Ugh. Hollywood has became so overrun with unoriginal ideas, concepts, and characters that they are now forced to remake (ruin) everything from my youth or give me Bio-Pics of people that aren’t truly that interesting. I would very much prefer any documentary who would attempt to give me presentation of the facts, instead of picking and choosing what could best be used for dramatically purposes. It may easily be my least favorite genre, and there are very few of them that I actually enjoy. (Although, sidenote: I’m learning that Gavin O’Connor is the anomaly in Hollywood. I’ve very much enjoyed both of the bio-pics he’s directed, and hated his one scripted film, “Pride and Glory” – which sucks because it was written by Joe Carnahan…?) [Author's note: It has been brought to my attention that "Warrior" was not a bio-pic. This is a fact that I knew, however having recently just watched the film, I felt that it had the same look/feel/vibe that made it come across like it should have said "based on a true story". So, even though I know it is not officially a bio-pic, it might as well have been. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it, when I didn't think that I would.]

So, like it or not, that’s what Mr. Crowe was going to do and I needed to accept it.

Saturday night, I got to the theatre thirty-five minutes early, doing my best to guarantee that I had a prime viewing seat. Over the course of the next half-hour, I noticed the exceptionally large count of younger children entering the auditorium. Suddenly, it dawned on me that my favorite director had dropped his raw, rough, and gritty examinations of life and love through the eyes of wandering teenagers and mid-twenty drifters. He had made a family film. No longer was it going to be a man searching for the right way to prove his worth to woman, at no expense of humiliation. This was about a man who had already achieved that, and was now parenting his children. As the children came in waves, excited to see lots of animals in a film that was about a father moving his children away from their friends, I wondered what I was actually getting myself into.

Turns out, I was worrying over nothing. Every now and then, in life, there are moments that things just seem to fall into place. It’s like it was always meant to be. This was supposed to happen, so that later on, you would appreciate when this other thing happens.

The main plotline of the film deals with a man, who three months before the start of the film has just lost his wife. In the world of escapism relation, the world is coming up on the one-year loss of one of my best friends, and I know as the day draws closer, it’s getting harder for all of us. So, Matt Damon’s portrayal of a man – Benjamin Mee – who has lost something so important to him, tugs on my heart in ways that it might not to everyone who views the film. The emotional attachments that he has to every restaurant they ate at, and the correlation he puts on many of his personal items that invoke memories is very well handled in the first thirty minutes of the film. It’s very well handled, and culminates in a beautiful scene between Damon and the girl who plays his daughter. On an emotional level, the film dangled the remorse of loss in front of me, to get me interested.

Then, it hooked me with the relationship between Matt Damon and his son. Going back to my personal life, my father and I butted heads thousands of times in my youth. The two of us could just never see eye-to-eye. He was military and had demands, while I was an anti-authoritative adolescent who got put into my place more times than I can remember counting. Despite our rocky youth, I’m happy that over the past ten years, my father and I have managed to become very good and close friends.

Colin Ford, who plays the son in the film constantly impressed me with his subtle nuances that he captured. From the anger and defiance he shows in the presence of his father, to the quiet and defensive attitude he shows towards the girl he likes, while he pushes away all of her advances. Once we reach the moment where Colin Ford and Matt Damon have their “Come to Jesus” speeches with each other, it is such an emotional hurricane, that I was beyond impressed with their deliveries of dialogue, and just in awe of the raw emotion they were both able to draw from. It was probably my favorite scene in the entire film.

The love story is there, but luckily it is never really the main focus of the film. I enjoyed that, as they did a wonderful job building up how much he was in love with his wife, and I would have hated to see that so easily cheapened, by the simple fact that someone like Scarlett Johannson was suddenly in his life. Over the course of the film, as Benjamin Mee discovers just how far he can push himself, and how far people are willing to come with him, it’s nice to watch the glances of the eyes, the quick moments of physical contact, the hugs, the holding hands, the slow evolution of something that wasn’t the main focus of the plot.

The music is – as always – top notch. I proudly own the soundtrack to every film that Cameron Crowe has made, and I’m very disappointed to learn that the official soundtrack for this film is nothing but the music of Icelandic artist Jónsi. Whose music was fine, but I was hoping for an album filled with Temple of the Dog (whose song is played during a really enjoyable scene where Benjamin is getting introduced to the lives of his employees), Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Pete Townshend, and The Rolling Stones. Although, the more I think about it, after a second viewing of the film, I could probably write down all the songs, and will be able to create this mix CD from music I already own. There may be a few tracks I’ll have to buy from iTunes, but Crowe’s musical selections are often already in my own personal library.

The only downside to the film is that does feel long – and with a running time of two hours and fifteen minutes, there’s legitimate reason that it feels so long. The sad part is that it does reach the point where I consciously became aware that it had taken a long time to get to this point – and there was still a significant amount of resolution to get through. I never actually looked at my clock, until the film was over, and that was just to see exactly how long the film was running. However, despite what I just said, I can’t think of anything that could have legitimately been cut from the film. The true test will be the second viewing. After I am no longer engaged by what is coming next, and what I am listening to, but just watching the story unfold. It will be at that point that I can actually determine if there is any fat to be trimmed.

I believe that overall the film will play with audiences, families, and even children. One great part about the script is that there are numerous sight gags – many including Patrick Fugit (“Almost Famous”) and the Capuchin monkey – which had the children in my auditorium laughing at a lot. To some much more subtle “adult” themed humor from the hilariously loud and over-the-top character played by Angus Macfadyen. There’s a nice blend of humor that hits both age groups and it was a pleasure to observe the reactions of everyone in my screening. The majority of the time, I enjoy the solitude of screening films either alone, or with an extremely small group of people – but in this case, I’m very happy that I got to enjoy the film with a crowd.

Love, loss, life-changing decisions, financial and economical troubles, commitment to a concept that turns into a dream, and the power of dedication, determination, and devotion are all topics that are interwoven in this simple tale about how the irrational purchase of a dilapidated state-run zoo changed the lives of everyone involved. It’s emotional, and I’m not just talking about over-dramatized family disputes, I’m talking about the emotional connections that are made between the characters and the animals, and the ability it has to cross-over the fourth wall and force the viewer to make those same connections. It’s tough. I can think of three separate, specific moments in the film where I was forced to wipe tears from my eyes. Part of it was the script, part of it was the acting, but another part of it was amazing ability of Cameron Crowe to make me love and care about anything that he wants me to.

The film ends in a way that many of my favorite films do. “The Usual Suspects”, “Primer”, and “Another Earth” all wrap up their main plotline, they resolve the issues of the journey that you have taken with them, and everything seems to be over. Then, each of these films tacks on one last scene at the end. One last, “before you go” moment. One final glimpse at the lives of you just came to know. The final scene of “We Bought a Zoo” may feel a little out of place, and a little forced, based on what the general plot was. But, on an emotional level, in a wonderful bookend moment, it brings to light the emotional meaning of the journey, which is what the entire film truly was.

One of my new favorite quotes comes from this film, “Sometimes, all it takes is twenty seconds of unbearable courage.” I don’t know if that quote came from Benjamin Mee’s book, or if Cameron Crowe wrote it himself – but those are words I can believe in. Because I’ve been there, as has everyone else. That one moment, where you are scared out of your mind, but you suddenly summon the courage to do something, say something, ask someone something, or just be something. The moment leading up to the eventual decision is probably the hardest and scariest – but you never know what will happen after it.

I highly recommend the film “We Bought a Zoo”. Does it get higher praise because of Cameron Crowe? Possibly. But, despite my “fanboy” moniker, I truly believe this film has a great story of triumph, family bonding, and personal introspection that anyone and everyone can – and should – enjoy.

“We Bought a Zoo” hits theatres on December 23rd. You should check it out.

Kicked Out Another Chapter

2011-10-15T01:15:00.000-04:00

I was able to write Chapter 33 tonight at work.
It's NOW ONLINE.

It's a short (1,606 word) chapter that addresses the trouble that David is in, in the alternate timeline. It's kind of a mini-cliffhanger, because we won't be back in that timeline for a while. The next few chapters will be in the original timeline dealing with Dominic and Noah, and I'll finally be bringing Drea back into the picture, as the whole group ends up in The Centre, and everyone in the novel learns their true capabilities.

It's going to build up nicely to the big cliffhanger, and I'll get to kill off a couple of more people before that chapter. Then, it's all off-line writing until the end of the year.

Been focusing on this novel so much this week, I need to squeeze in some more time to finish the "Grinchby" outline and start writing that. I've just been really happy with the flow of "Perfect Life..." this week that I wanted to keep it going.

We'll see what I'm in the mood to work on tomorrow afternoon...

Two More Chapters

2011-10-11T21:30:00.000-04:00

I forgot to make a post on Saturday and announce that I had (finally) completed another chapter in "Perfect Life For Large Price". CHAPTER 31 is now online.

And that brings us to tonight, when I have completed CHAPTER 32, which is now online.

Hopefully, you'll be seeing these updates a lot more often.

I've made some decisions for myself over the past few days. First of all, I've come to realization that I have been WAY too passive in my writing, when I claim that it is my passion. If it's really my passion, I need to force myself to do it more often and more regularly.

And I need to finish things. So, I've set two deadlines for myself for two projects.

First, I plan to complete "Grinchby" before Thanksgiving. It's a Christmastime story, so it'll be done just in time for people to read during the holidays. It's a short story, and I'm aiming for 20,000 words, which I believe is a very realistic goal for the project. I've been plotting it out, and have over 1,000 words of a synopsis completed and I'm only about 1/3 of the way through the story I'm planning to tell. So, 20,000 words might be on the short side, it could easily pass that once I finish the outline.

Second, I'm planning to complete "Perfect Life For Large Price" before December 31st. I've got most of the rest of the novel mapped out chapter by chapter, so I know pretty much where everything is going, I just need to make the time to write each one. It's looking like Chapter 40 will be where I stop publishing online and leave everyone with a huge cliffhanger - which I'm SO excited about writing! If I complete the first draft by January 1st, then that will give me three months to revise and have others read and give input, and hopefully have a serious/committed person to proof and edit for me, and give me some opinions. So that I can have a serious, completed First Draft done by March 23rd, 2012 - exactly two years from the day I wrote my first chapter (and one year longer than I originally planned).

Over the past few days, I've also begun researching Literary Agents and what they look for. So, I'm getting a lot of good input from the internet, and getting some ideas for how to approach things. After all the years I cut indie film trailers and designed posters for our projects, I seriously think that I can put together a decent package to send with novel. I'm sitting at almost 74,000 words right now, so I will easily break 100,000 and most likely end up close to 120,000. Which will make me feel good and accomplished no matter what. I know there will be lots of rejection, and if I have to self-publish first, I'm not opposed to that idea. I also have plans to submit "Grinchby" to some online publication sites and see if I can't get one of them to run it during the holidays, which would add a little credibility to any resume I sent to a potential agent, by showing them I got another piece of work published somewhere else, even if it was only online. I'm still doing my research, but the plan is to hopefully find someone interested in the story, and hopefully present them with a well-enough composed version that they'll give it some attention.

Time will tell.
But, I claim my passion is writing, so it's time to act like it.

The Decennial Anniversary: My Story

2011-09-11T08:31:00.000-04:00

According to my parents, everyone in America rememberswhere they were on both November 22, 1963 as well as July 21, 1969. Those were some pretty significant moments inthe history of this country, I’m sure if I had ever asked my grandparents whereany of them were on December 7, 1941, they would have instantly been able torecall their situations. The firstsimilar moment I can remember was on April 19, 1995 when I was sitting inFreshman Health and an announcement was made that teachers could turn on thetelevisions. Mrs. Dunham did, and we allgot to witness the aftermath of the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah FederalBuilding in Oklahoma City. Six yearslater, I would become witness to the most destructive act of terrorism onUnited States soil and I, like every other American on planet Earth canremember exactly where I was that day, and what I did. So, this is my account of how I lived thatday and how it affected me.

In the fall of 2001 I found myself recently back inIndiana after a failed attempt to live in California. I was jobless, and going through the first ofmany claims of “I’ll never take another movie theatre job again.”

(By December was proven false, when I was offered twodifferent jobs and chose the one on the south side of town, due to the girl Iwas dating at the time. Granted, it wasprobably the better job, and I love the friends I made over my five yearsthere, but as far as my reasoning went, we all know how poorly that turned out.)

I was living up my youth by living at home with myparents, lounging around the Castleton Arts theatre, getting the Broad Ripplescene out of my system, and endlessly playing pool with Zach all night at P.S.O’Rourke’s. It was a pathetic blur of anexistence, and I can’t even seem to recall how I would make ends meet. I’m sure my parents were covering my bills,and I know Zach took good care of me while we were hanging out.

For me, the morning of September 11^th starteda few minutes before 9:00am, when I got up to use the bathroom, and when Iwalked out, I noticed the television was on. This was an odd occurrence, seeing how both of my parents should havebeen at work and my brother at school. Ientered the living room, saw no one, and called out, “Hello?”

My brother popped his head over the railing of the loftand informed me that there was testing going on at school, and he wasn’t toreport until 11:00am. I glanced at theTV and saw a building on fire, but without my contacts in, I couldn’t read thecaptions or process what I was seeing. Ijust assumed it was some movie that Scott had on. I didn’t pay attention to the words of thenewscasters, as my only goal was to get a few more hours of sleep.

So, I went back into my room, crawled back under mycovers, and turned on WZPL to listen to the morning show as I went back todreamland. It was at this time that Ibegan to discern comments about a plane crashing into the World TradeCenter. It took a solid minute for thesewords to actual sink into my brain and for it completely process into fact. At 9:01am, I put on my glasses and rushedback into the living room, yelling at my brother, “Hey! Do you know what’sgoing on?”

I looked up to the loft and saw him standing in the sameplace he was two minutes ago when we were talking, blankly staring down at thetelevision. I remember my eyes lookingup at him, and then back down into the living room at the exact minute that thesecond plane hit the South Tower. I satdown on the couch, with my eyes glued to the television. I don’t remember how, but suddenly my brotherwas sitting next to me and we made that couch our home base for at least thenext four hours.

Like the majority of America, we were fixated on thetelevision and the information coming in. Everything so far had been so surreal, was this all reallyhappening? Suddenly, there were reportsof the Pentagon being hit, and minutes later there was live coverage of itburning. At that moment, it became clearthat we were under attack in a way no one ever could have seen coming. By the time the reports of the plane crash inPennsylvania came in, it was almost impossible to feel shocked anymore.

Scott and I eventually watched in complete disbelief asthe first tower collapsed, followed by the second. Even while the buildings were burning, I hadnever considered the possibility that they would fall. They were hit so high up, that I believed thebase structure would remain intact – well, I was proven terribly wrong.

In this modern digital media technology age, it’s hard toremember the fact that I watched every minute of this live on television andlistened to the radio a lot that day. Ididn’t have Twitter to follow or a Facebook newsfeed to get me the latestnews. I was at the mercy of whateverchannel of news I was watching, local, CNN, MSNBC, whatever. I knew there was a lot of channel surfinggoing on, to make sure that one network wasn’t scooping something that theothers were missing.

Around noon, I received a phone call from Jason L.Maier. The vast majority of my days werespent hanging out with him at Castleton Arts, while we talked movies and ideasfor scripts. If I’m not mistaken, atthis point we were kicking around ideas for a “Consternate” sequel. (What else were we going to do?) Jason’s phone call was to let me know thatCastleton Arts was going to be closed that day. Dione had called him and asked him to make sure I knew this, so that Ididn’t show up that afternoon – like I did almost every single day, even ifJason wasn’t working. So, I wasn’t goingto be spending any part of the day there.

My memory is a little hazy on my parents. I’m pretty sure my mother’s work closed downearly and sent people home, and the fact that my father works in a governmentbuilding makes me believe that I remember them being evacuated at somepoint. Nonetheless, by mid-afternoon, Iknow my entire family was sitting together in the living room, watching the newscoverage. By that point, there really wasn’tany new information – as the attacks were over – but rather, we were in awe ofthe aftermath and the destruction.

Later on in the afternoon, I was sitting on the floor ofmy bedroom, listening to WZPL and they had already taken audio bites from thatmorning and cut them together with various songs. Most memorable to me was Collective Soul’s “TheWorld I Know” – which specifically mentions walking around the streets of NewYork City. I am certain that buried in abox in my parent’s basement is cassette tape that recorded that afternoon ofmany of these songs. Days later, theymade them all available as MP3 downloads on their website, which I snagged themall and burnt a CD titled “9/11 Tribute Songs” which is in a box with all of myother CDs. I got that CD out today(Saturday) and started listening to it. It brought back a lot of memories and emotions, listening to the voicesof reporters, callers, and emergency workers. Here is the track listening for the songs that had dialogue spliced inwith them:

1. FaithHill – Star Spangled Banner

2. LeeGreenwood – Proud to be an American

3. CollectiveSoul – The World I Know

4. Live –Overcome

5. JohnLennon – Imagine

6. U2 –Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of

7. Enya –Only Time

8. Jewel– Hands

9. SarahMcLachlan – Angel

10. BlessidUnion of Souls – I Believe

11. U2 –Peace on Earth

12. EricClapton – Tears in Heaven

13. SarahMcLachlan – I Will Remember You

There is also a fourteenth track, which is allinstrumental, and sounds very familiar to me, but I can’t place it. I’m thinking John Williams of Hans Zimmer,but I don’t know for a fact. The lasttrack is very dialogue heavy, so it makes it a little more difficult to figureout. I’ve actually ripped all fourteenof these track and placed them in a public folder on Google Docs. You can go and download them all RIGHT HERE.

Sometime after dinner, Zach hit me up and asked if Iwanted to go to P.S. O’Rourke’s. Basically, the entire world had shut down. The movie theatres were closed, the mall wasclosed, and almost every business was closed. So, when he asked I was reluctant, assuming that they too would beclosed.

“If nothing else, I just need to get out of the house anddrive around,” Zach said to me, and that was enough of a selling point that Iwas game to take a break from the mass media frenzy and get some freshair. So, the teal green Dodge Shadowrolled down the street, picked me up, and whisked me away to the land of P.S. O’Rourke’s. There were barely any other cars on thestreet, it was almost like a scene from an apocalyptic film. Castleton was dead silent, and I don’t recallever seeing the mall parking lot so barren. When we finally pulled up to P.S. O’Rourke’s, there were almost noindicators that the place was open, but when I jumped out of the car, I wasshocked as I pulled the door and it swung open. Inside we found Sloan and only two other patrons. When we asked Sloan why he went ahead andopened the bar, his response was simple enough, “This is where I want to be,and I want to give other people a place to gather with me.”

We sat and talked, we played some pool, and after 8:30pm,a few more regulars had strolled in and about ten of us were all sitting at thebar, watching George W. Bush give his speech on the tragic events of the day.

I woke up on September 12^th with a passionaterage going on inside of me. I swore upand down that I was going to join the Army. I was going to go out on the front lines and kill as many “bad guys” asI could in retaliation. As I said, I wasa jobless twenty-one year old wayward soul with no direction in life who hadjust recently been forced to give up on his dreams. What else was I going to do? I had no job, no girlfriend, and no passionto do anything else. Suddenly, I wasconsumed with this desire to follow in the footsteps of my father andgrandfathers, and serve our country. In theend, I never followed through with it. Somedays I wish that I had, just to have saved me from so many terrible emotionsover the past ten years. However, I alsolook at the fact that I would not know many of my closest friends that I haveright now. It’s a terrible Catch-22,that I can never possibly know which path would have been the better one. But, I do regret never making the decision toserve my country, like so many of my family members did before me.

Over the next few weeks, I collected a number ofnewspapers, magazines, and comics to remember the tragic events of thatday. I had political views, pop cultureviews, and sports-related views. Until recently, none of these magazine have seen the light of day. They have been sealed in a manilla envelope that was placed in my parent's safe and only recently removed.

I remember the impact that the event had on Hollywood,and the two major poster changes that resulted. First was “Sidewalks of New York”, which originally had the twin towersin the background. Second was the teaserposter for “Spider-Man” which originally showed the towers reflecting inSpider-man’s eyes. I need to doublecheck, but I believe I still have a copy of this poster in my collection at myparent’s house.

I also remember the original teaser trailer for "Spider-Man" in 2001, which was very quickly pulled from theatres on September 12th.

I remember being outraged when I heard the film “Serendipity”was going to digitally remove the twin towers from the film. Personally, I found that to be distasteful tothe memory of the buildings, and erasing them from a period of time when theydid exist was ludicrous. I was veryhappy that Cameron Crowe refused to remove them from his film “Vanilla Sky”,and to this day I enjoy seeing the towers in the opening credits andestablishing shots of the TV series “Friends” as well as in the film “HomeAlone 2: Lost in New York”, which I watch more than once during the holidayseason.

If memory serves me properly (which I don’t count onthese days), My brother visited New York City a number of times before hestarted getting the itch to move there. Eventually, by 2006, through some mutual friends and connections, he wasable to move in with Jason’s future wife Letha for an extended period of time,allowing him to live in a city that he was very passionate about. I’m not sure how much the impact of September11^th had on him and his love for the city, but it was definitely there,and it was nice to see him get to live out that dream. I did not get to take my first trip to NewYork City until 2006, and to this day it is always going to be a regret of minethat I never got to stand at the base of the towers and look up at them to seethem curve. As a child, it was one ofthose things that I always knew I would get to do one. Like going to the Walk of Fame, or the Arch,or Times Square, or walking the Tower Bridge in London. In my youth, I never imagined a day when Icouldn’t finally go see the towers. My second trip to NYC was during Christmastime of 2006, and one day while Letha was at work, Jason was able to take medown to the site, we were only able to stand outside of fencing, and look into agiant empty pit, where two massive buildings once stood. It was a moment of disappoint, that was putinto perspective as I realized that I was standing where thousands of people’slives were ended. It was a very eeriefeeling. As we walked around lower Manhattan, on our way to the Statue of Liberty, we ended up passing by a memorial which included a piece that was recovered from the lobby of Tower Two.

I hate and loathe Brett Favre, because of the media. I despise Tickle Me Elmo, because of themedia. By 2008, I was sick and tired ofthe yearly media coverage of September 11^th. In no way was attempting to dishonoreverything that happened, I merely felt that the media – and by this timesocial networking – were abusing the entire situation, and only spinning it allfor personal gain. In a society that claimed they were trying to protect people, it felt like they were picking at, and tearing open a scab each and every year. The media acted like they wanted to help people deal with their loss, by annually rubbing it in their faces and making a mass spectacle of the recurring situation. I was over-saturated with it all. Therefore, when I gotmy tax return and planned my vacation, I specifically chose to be out of the UnitedStates, and in England on September 11^th, hoping that I would be farremoved from the media coverage that I so despised at the time. This decision ultimately resulted in a hugebackfire. Fire, I woke up on the morningof September 11^th, 2008 and turned on BBC News to find them talkingabout… The seven year anniversary of theattacks. I rushed out of my hotel toenjoy what was supposed to be my last day in London. The next morning I was on the Chunnel fromSt. George’s Cross to Paris. I ended upin a pub for lunch, and hoped to catch some football or rugby, only to findmore news coverage. As I waited for myfood, I lamented to my bartender about how I was attempting to escape all ofthis media, by coming to Europe. Iexplained that I didn’t know they would be featuring it so heavily in theircountry. By midday on this September 11^th,something else began creeping into news coverage. One of the trains from Paris, coming intoEngland via the Chunnel caught fire, which essentially shut down the Chunnelfor the next 48 hours. IN THIS ARTICLE,it mentions the 30,000 travelers who were stranded because of this, I was oneof them. Thousands of people were takingbuses and trains to Dover, in an attempt to take crowded ferries across. It was an uncertain fate that I was notwilling to gamble with. If I had largerfunds available to me, to spend multiple nights in Dover, or stranded inFrance, I may have shrugged my shoulders and go on an adventure. However, being on a tight budget, and onlyplans for one night in Paris before moving onto Munich, it threw my entirevacation into disarray and I eventually flew straight back to the United Statesfrom London two days later. I chalk the entire experience up to "cosmic irony". God (Or Gods, or High Powers, or Supreme Beings, or whatever you believe in) was trying to make a point to me that day: I took that vacation for the wrong reason, and I deserved to be personally affected for my escapist intentions.

Earlier this year, I read the novel “LoveMonkey”, written by Kyle Smith, it was the basis of a TV show that I really enjoyed,so I always wanted to read the book, and I finally ran across a copy atHalf-Priced Books. Aside from the factthat the television show was a vast departure from the original novel, therewas a chapter late in the semi-autobiographical book that dealt with events ofSeptember 11^th. I don’t knowhow much is fact, and how much Mr. Smith embellished for the narrative, butnonetheless it was a fascinating read of what the main character went throughon that day, as he attempted to get a hold of his friends, after standing on astreet corner in lower Manhattan and watching the buildings collapse in frontof him. As a reader, I got the feelingthat Kyle Smith actually lived something similar to what Tom Ferrell wentthrough in the novel, as it was told with such detail and emotion. (And I do know that Kyle Smith has been along time resident in NYC).

Tonight, I sit here on the eve of the tenthanniversary. I’ve spent the last fourdays writing this article, which I hope someone actually takes the time toread, and perhaps enjoy this one tale of where I was when my generation changedforever. I did not know anyone who waskilled on that day. I didn’t have anyfriends that I was worrying over. I’mnot constantly haunted by the images depicting the demise of a friend orrelative. So, when I sit here andimagine how much my life was changed ten years ago, I can’t even begin toimagine what tomorrow is going to be like for those whose lives where directly impacted and forever altered because of the terrorist’s actions that morning.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been ten years. It's crazy to think about all of the changes in society and security due to the actions of a few men. Life was a lot easier, a lot more simplistic, and honestly a lot more enjoyable back then. The oppression of the government has gone way up and there are thousands of conspiracy theorists nut-jobs coming up with the mast asinine ways to blame our government for everything bad that has happened. The world really isn't a fun place anymore, and maybe it's just a realization that I'm coming to as I've hit thirty, but I do remember how things were before that fateful day.

As I’ve written this, it’s been a veryinteresting trip down memory lane. Remember where I was in life ten years ago, and looking at everything I’vedone between then and now. Seeing thedreams that I’ve failed, and the new ones that I continue to strive for now.

I will proudly be participating in multiple moments ofsilence.

"One Day" Review

2011-08-20T16:54:00.003-04:00

On June 30th, I WROTE A BLOG about the five films I was most looking forward to, in the remainder of 2011.

Now, I have been able to cross of Numbers One and Two, and I felt like writing a little bit about each one of them.

#2. "One Day".
Friday, July 15th, 2011 was a Pay Day for me. I had just recently finished reading the novel "Love Monkey" by Kyle Smith, and was looking for something new to read. A few nights earlier, I had been at a screening for the final "Harry Potter" film, and the preview for "One Day" came on. I geeked out, as two weeks previous I had named it #2 on My List, and had been loving the preview for a couple of months - specifically remembering how the OneRepublic song "Good Life" would stick in my head for hours after watching the trailer.

As I perked up and leaned forward in my seat, my friend Heather leaned over to me and asked if I had read the book. I told her that I had not, and she informed me how much she loved it and believed that I would too. Two days later, on the aforementioned Pay Day, I purchased the book (NON-movie poster cover) and brought it to work with me that night. I read Chapter 1 quickly, and as I began reading Chapter 2, I noticed "July 15th, 1989". I flipped back to the first chapter - knowing full well the premise - and saw "July 15th, 1988". In a bizarre twist of fate, I actually purchased the novel on the exact "one day" mentioned in the title. That could have been the first sign that I was destined to love the novel, but it was not the last. Watching the evolution of these two characters, and their times together, their times apart, their missed opportunities, their fights, and everything else that made them friends - was perfection. It was some of the best writing and storytelling I've ever read. Coming off the heals of "Love Monkey" which I felt was a novel very close to where I am at in life today, to read this novel, felt like reading a novel about how I too had stressed/ruined some good friendships.

On July 15th, 1988, Dexter and Emma have both just graduated from University, and they drunkenly find themselves awkwardly undressed in Emma's flat. From this moment on, the two of them agree to remain friends. The film then checks in with them on each subsequent July 15th. What makes it so wonderful is that it's not a gimmicky "Let's always agree to hang out on the exact same day" type of lame plot device. Instead, some years they are hanging out together and some years they are not. Dexter and Emma are close friends, best of friends, and therefore it's not completely out of the grasp of reality for them to at least talk on the phone each day. Prior to the internet and social networking - the masses of people would at least check in with their friends via the home phone on a regular basis. So, even the years that they are not together, it's nice to see their conversations, or their missed attempts to speaking to each other that day.

Over the course of the years, we see Dexter as he rises in popularity as a TV Presenter, while we witness Emma being stuck in the rut of a dead-end job with a lack of motivation and low self worth, only to see how the charm of Dexter can bring a smile back to her face. In later years, we see (in a PG-13 version of Dexter's drinking/drug life) how he grows to annoy Emma and eventually take her for granted so many times that it pushes her over the edge of what she can take from him, telling him that she no longer desires to be his friend. While Dexter is spiraling out of control with drugs and his popularity with women, we get to watch as Emma focuses on purposes in her life. She begins teaching, and directing children's plays, and eventually publishes a children's novel. (A subplot in the book that works really well, but was sadly eliminated from the film...)

Years later, we catch up with them again, and we as an audience are reminded that it is our closest friends who most often annoy and upset us and we always hold them up to higher standards, but they are also the people that we can never completely write out of our lives. As Dex & Em reconnect, we see their thirties begin to take control and shape who they are to become. Life is painful, it's not pretty and everyone is often compromised in numerous ways. This story does not pull any punches, it shows a lot of the bad that everyone is faced to deal with. Children, marriage, infidelity, divorce, bad friends, mistakes, and emotions are all addressed as our two star-crossed friends eventually come to point in time that feels right for them both to finally cross the line of friendship into a territory they have both wanted for so long.

The great thing about the story is that it's not a typical, boy-meets-girl, boy-woos-girl, boy-screws over-girl, boy-tries to win back-girl because he can't live without her kind of lame plot that requires misunderstandings to create drama and push two people apart. Instead, the story of Dex & Em is about two people, whose lives are just never harmoniously at the same point for them to get what they truly desire from each other, or for them to feel like it's the right time to pursue anything beyond friendship. Over the years we get to see the foundation being built, so that when the time is right, the two of them can finally make each other the happiest. The story is a wonderful look at growing up, making mistakes, taking your friends for granted, acting arrogant only to have life beat you down into humility, settling for what is given to you, and the endless pursuit of dreams. It's a love story, that covers a million other emotions.

The film is a very good representation of the novel. It's flawed, and it's a double-edged sword. If you have read the book, then you can fill in some of the gaps of what is missing, based on what you remember reading. It's like the "Harry Potter" franchise, when I would discuss some of the issues I had with people, they would inform me, "Well, the left out this part... blah blah blah," which did help things make more sense. The same is true here, there are some small details that are overlooked and I believe it makes the film story a little weaker.

However, if you have not read the book, and you are just going by what is presented to you on the screen, I believe it to be a good representation of the surface of Dexter and Emma's friendship/relationship. Sadly, it's just the surface, and so many emotions are missing. A letter that Dexter writes Emma and then never gets to mail is completely eliminated - I admit, it would be hard to have included, however in the narrative of the novel, as Dexter writes it, it's one of the most touching moments for his character, before he begin to despise him. Emma is involved with a married man at one point, their stressful relationship is completely avoided, despite the fact that it shows Emma finally attempting to be more selfish, as the man claims he wants to leave his wife, and Emma tells him not to, because she doesn't want to be with him. Dexter's hard-core partying and drug use are never touched, which makes his revelation of getting married not as powerful. You never get the full feeling of how much of an influence Sylvie had on his life, forcing him to quit drinking and doing drugs, and basically suppressing him like a puppy dog.

Again, the film is a sad Catch-22, were I don't want to tell you to wait on watching it, because it's really enjoyable. However, at the same time, I think anyone would enjoy it more if they had read the book and were able to grasp the full emotional impact these two people have on each other.

David Nicholls wrote the novel, and I am very happy that he was asked to adapt his own work into the film version. I always had faith this would prevent the film from feeling like a bastardized version of such a great story. While a few of my favorite scenes and moments are eliminated from the film and other scenes are slightly changed, I still feel like the film works very well on its own, and was a pleasure to watch. Both Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess did wonderful jobs portraying the wide range of emotions required for the various years. The make-up department also did a phenomenal job of aging the characters each year. Wardrobe and the art departments also did wonderful jobs with clothing, and props, and the movies on the marquee at the cinema. It all made the experience so much more enjoyable.

Most importantly, the narrative structure of the final few chapters was preserved for the film. It works so perfectly in the novel, and I hoped and prayed that it would be told the same way in the film - and it was. It was so perfectly inter-connected, that despite knowing everything, I still got tears in my eyes.

Finally, any film that includes Del Amitri's "Roll to Me" instantly gains bonus points for being awesome.

In all seriousness, I do suggest reading the novel. Preferably before you see the film, but if time is an issue, then I hope the film will interest you enough to pick up the novel afterwards, so that you can get the full experience of what these two amazing characters put each other through, and go through together. It's an amazing story of friendship and love.

RATING: 8.6/10

"Another Earth" Review

2011-08-20T16:24:00.001-04:00

#1 - "Another Earth".
To quote Dione, "It's a good thing you liked the film, since you're exactly their target audience. If you didn't like it, they really screwed up."

I can agree with this statement, and I can be upfront when I say that this film was exactly everything that I wanted it to be. It delivered to me on every level, exactly how I was expecting/wanting it to.

The film begins at a party, where 17-year old Rhoda has learned that she has been accepted to MIT. Rhoda has always been fascinated by the stars and dreams of a life in astrophysics. On this specific night, Rhoda make a terrible teenage mistake, that results in the death of a mother and her child, leaving the father as the sole survivor.

From the beginning, we are given the juxtaposition of emotions ranging from elated jubilation of seeing our hopes and dreams in our future, to the shock and misery knowing what our actions have ultimately caused. The score for the first five minutes of the film really carry it well.

In an added twist of fate, this tragedy occurs on the exact same night that a bright blue star appears in our sky.

Fast-forward four years. Rhoda is being released from prison, and we learn that the bright blue star was actually another planet, which appears to be the exact same physical make-up as our own planet earth. And, over the past four years it's been getting closer and closer.

We only had a brief amount time of time to get to know what Rhoda previously was, but it seems fairly obvious that she is now a shell of herself. She seems to lack ambition, and asks her social worker to get her a job where she doesn't have to interact with many people.

At one point she finally goes to visit the site of her horrific accident, only to witness the widower arriving to leave a stuffed animal where his say was killed. At this point, Rhoda investigates the man - John Burroughs - and eventually gets up the courage to go to his house, in an attempt to apologize. However, she chickens out and makes up a lie about being sent as a trial-service to clean his home for him. Over the next few weeks, she continues to return under this guise, and slowly they begin to help each other out of their respective shells.

This is where the dramatic irony of the plot kicks into full gear, and works wonderfully. As their partnership evolves into friendship and more intimacy, the audience gets a wonderful look at how its troubling her psyche, and in relation to John, it's like watching a balloon fill with air, knowing that eventually it's going to explode.

A subplot to the film involves a mega-millionaire - I picture him as a fictional version of Sir Richard Branson - who has created a spaceship to travel to "Earth 2". Rhoda visits the website, which asks you to write an essay on why you feel that you deserve to go on the trip. I personally believe that (writer-director) Mike Cahill and (co-write/star) Brit Marling wrote a wonderful piece of voice over dialogue here, as Rhoda reads her essay as she composes it.

If you've seen the preview, it's no surprise to you that she ends up winning the trip (otherwise why would this film be about her?), however, before she embarks she finally makes the decision to come clean to John about who she is. It leads to two very powerful and emotional scenes between the two of them, where I found the tension and emotions very intense and honest. This emotional roller coaster you've been watching, hits some new lows.

The film then wraps up in a non-traditional, yet not-surprising twist that reminds us all that no matter how badly we've screwed up our lives, we have the chance to make amends for it.

Finally, the film goes one step farther, a la "Primer" and knocks the story out of the park! I compare this film to "Primer" in this simple way: When you watch "Primer", you sit through it, you witness the story, you learn the truth, and then the story feels like it's over. There is resolution. (In the case of "Primer" the resolution drives you to re-watch the film, to catch the clues you missed) THEN, "Primer" ends with one final shot, one final scene with no dialogue, but a simple reveal that opens multiple cans of ambiguity up for you to consider where the story could continue - and then the credits roll. The same is true of "Another Earth". The final shot of the film opens up many avenues of debate, questioning the hows and whys. And it works so well.

Personally, I believe I have it all figured out. I honestly think that I know the important pieces that were set up to explain the ending. I don't want to include spoilers in this write up, so perhaps I'll do another blog at a later time, or something. It's not as complicated as the ten-page essay of "Mulholland Drive". It's pretty simple, and what I believe to be correct.

In the simplest ways possible, the film is about heart and emotion. It's about mistakes and regret. It's about attempting to move on in our lives, even when we can't achieve the dreams we once had. The film is very well acted, and using some interesting cinematography that I believe aides in the realism of the piece. Brit Marling is beautiful to look at, but backs it up with some amazing acting talent. Along with Mike Cahill, she did an amazing job on the concept and story, and Cahill was able to perfectly capture the emotions of the story through the lens.

RATING: 9.1/10

Preface to My Next Post

2011-08-20T14:15:00.000-04:00

When I first started this blog, so many moons ago, my first posting was a review of "Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith". From there, I reviewed a bunch of movies, sometimes just a few quick sentences, sometimes long, winded commentaries about why I loved them - and loved hearing myself talk/think/type.

Then, I got vocal about sports. Analyzing the Colts, Pacers, Bayern Munich, tennis, World Cup, blah, blah, blah. I just liked writing (and babbling on my soapbox) about topics I was passionate about.

Then, I wanted to be a media mogul, so every morning I would spend hours surfing my favorite websites and gathering all of the bits of news that mattered to me, and that I wanted to comment on - and then I'd compile them all here.

Then, I started working a day job where I spent 8-10 hours a day sitting at a computer typing and entering data. Once I got home, I wanted to be anywhere but in front of any computer screen or keyboard. That's when the lull in my blog first began.

Then, I decided to start writing my novel, and the only times I would post here was when I published another chapter online.

At some point this year - I can't remember exactly when - I was looking at my blog and on one hand, I was proud to have over 2,000 postings. Then, I just realized, the majority of them were nothing. Boring, pointless, insane rants without purpose. Links to random things that we're relevant anymore. I had tons of mobile updates recording Bayern Munich or Bastian Schweinsteiger goals.

Basically, I realized my blog was lame, and had LOTS of "fat" that needed to be trimmed off of it. So, at whatever random point (I honestly believe it took me three days to complete), I deleted around 1,800-ish blog posting to put myself at a much thinner 200-ish posts.

I kept all of my film reviews, because I do care about my thoughts and feelings on films, and I kept some other blogs that I feel like I actually took a lot of time to prepare and write, but I made a much more concise version of myself available online. [A number of my blogs were just intense/insane rants about things that I found annoying (usually people I didn't like) and I just wouldn't shut up. Blah, blah, blah, I'm just going to run my mouth because this is my forum to do so... It was lame.]

Recently, I've been writing a little more often. I missed my deadline of finishing "Perfect Life For Large Price" in one year, so I've set the goal at two years now. I'm over halfway, and I'm about ten chapters away from a cliffhanger, where I will stop publishing online, and try to finish it up, get someone to edit/revise it for me, and then try to find the best avenue to publish it.

While I don't force myself enough to make the time to write the novel, I do still want to write more often. I just know that each chapter I write has a lot of research to do, geographical and facts related to previous chapters. So, it's a lot more difficult than early chapters, where I was writing the continuity - now I have to make sure everything I write now fits properly. So, that's a wee bit of extra time when I write.

I've recently been having the itchy urge to write film reviews more often. However, not on the I-Want-To-Do-This-Professionally Level that I previously did, where I often felt like I needed to kick out a 2,000 word thesis on each film that I saw, while citing references to previous cinema. Instead, I really just kind of want to share some feelings on the flicks that I feel like devoting my time to writing about.

So, today, I'm planning on writing up some short (for me) pieces about "Another Earth" and "One Day". So, I'm going to go get started on that now.

Two New Blogs

2011-08-15T14:31:00.000-04:00

I've recently made two new blogs of mine available for the public, so I thought I would share them on here.

First, is one that I started working on back in December - then had to deal all of that personal drama - and then never got around to working on any more. Truth be told, it was a rather long and in-depth, time consuming process and I never really found the motivation to work on it. Until this weekend. I put in a good few hours on Saturday night, and then finished it up yesterday. Or, at least as close as I could to be willing to make it visible. The blog is: Where I've Been - and it's a collection of every ticket stub that I could find, from any and all events, or places I visited, going all the way back to my first hockey game in 1993.

As it states on the top of the blog, I've watched thousands of films at employee/press screenings and because of that, there's A LOT of stuff missing from this list. But, anything I did go see, that I had a ticket for - I think I've go most of them, and now I've got them all in digital form, and on the internet where they can now live forever.

Second, is a blog that really doesn't have a start yet, but it will later this week. It's called Chicks Wearing Chucks. And it's kind of a social media sharing attempt-thing that I'm going to do. I decided about a month ago that I wanted to take my love (or obsession) with girls in Converse shoes, and try to collect them in one place. I've made numerous comments on Facebook, and even posted some pictures there commenting on my obsession. Well, now I'm going to take it to the next level, and when I am presented with the opportunity, I'm going to ask women to pose their feet for me (photos are just going to be legs and shoes, no faces) and let me snap a picture of their Chucks.

I've decided that I am reserving my first blog posting for my friend Beth. She lives in San Diego, but will be coming home tomorrow. So, I am going to make her my first picture. I've got the blog set up so that I can upload these pictures from my phone, making it a total quick picture post for the collection. We'll see how it goes!

Chapter 30 Now Online

2011-08-06T19:08:00.001-04:00

Ever since Chapter 27, I've had a nice outline written that reminds me of everything I need/want to cover in every chapter until Chapter 40 - where I've got the cliffhanger planned, and that is when I will stop publishing online. It's been a great tool to keep me on track, and I can read the notes I've written for each chapter, and then take time writing it in my head before I ever sit down at a computer.

So, last weekend, I began kicking out Chapter 30. I wrote a good 2,000+ words one day, and was really happy with it all, even though I only covered half of the things I wanted to cover in the chapter. So, I told myself, I'll finish this in the next few days, and it will just be a really long chapter. (Most chapters in the novel run about 2,000-ish words, the longest being a litle over 3,000-ish). Well, tonight when I finally sat down to force myself to finish Chapter 30, I just decided - "I'm going to end it here, and shift everything a bit". It was a good place to end it. The action was at the end of a night, and is getting ready to move into the next day, so I just decided to write off a couple more paragraphs to close it up and get back to the alternate timeline with Chapter 31. Then, when I get back to Chapter 32, it should be a quick write - since I've been thinking about it all week. So, I'm going to shift a few things around in these last chapters, but it shouldn't make too much of a difference.

HERE IS CHAPTER 30.

I am sure that in the future, the page formatting and/or font and/or something else will be changed, but in its current format I have hit 200 pages. And, once I write Chapter 31, I should easily be over 70,000 words.

Now, I'm going to get going on Chapter 31.

I Need to Control My Storytelling ADD

2011-07-11T17:12:00.000-04:00

I had one goal that I wanted to accomplish today: I wanted to map out the next five chapters of "Perfect Life for Large Price" because I wanted to help myself understand where I was going, and make help light the fire for me to complete the next chapter. After a conversation with my mother yesterday, I just really felt motivated to get moving on this project and get it finished after all of the time and work I've already put into it. There is no reason it shouldn't get completed.

So, what did I do? I decided that I wanted to create a file for "Waited on a Line of Greens & Blues" and get the chapter titles going and put in order. For that novel, each chapter will be a song title, for a song that I believe would be the perfect soundtrack to that particular series of events that occur in the chapter. It's also helping me organize the flow of the story a little better. So, it wasn't a bad idea, it just trumped my original idea.

Then, as I was trying to organize all of my Word Documents into folders based on the novels they are associated with, I came across the first two chapters (well, one completed chapter and one partial) and the character bios for a story I started working on in February of 2010.

"Forever Got A Lot Shorter" was a novel that I started working on, and only abandoned because I fell in love with my concept for "Perfect Life For Large Price", if not for that Sci-Fi Novel (which I still LOVE), I'd probably be twenty-eight chapters into "Forever Got A Lot Shorter" - instead of just one and a half.

So, THEN what did I do? I spent two hours re-writing and expanding the characters biographies and personalities and interconnections and events that happen to them and the group. Now, I'm sitting here with hundreds of ideas and concepts spinning around those characters. Which is cool, and great, and I'm happy that I spent today writing and being creative and productive - but in a sad way, I wish I would have just focused all of this energy on "Perfect Life For Large Price", so that I can get closer to finishing that product, which I REALLY love. "Forever Got A Lot Shorter" actually started as a script for a feature film I wanted to write in 2001. It revolved around a group of friends who all worked in a bar (a concept that is sort of being integrated into "Waited on a Line of Greens & Blues") who had to deal with the drama of their customers, friends, and relationships. Things got complicated when one of the men got involved with one of the girls, who was more of a free-spirit and didn't take things as seriously as he did. This caused ripples and rifts in all of their abilities to work together. This script was shelved in 2003, when I began writing and working on my film "Reunion", and it never really got looked at again, until I came up with the idea for the novel. Once you read the following summary, you'll easily be able to see the evolution of the project.

So, while it's fresh in my head, here's the quick plot summary for "Forever Got a Lot Shorter":

June 7th, 1996 was the day the film "The Rock" opened in North America. It was also the day first day of employment at Clearwater Cinemas for teenagers Michael McKenzie, Leslie Newbury, and Troy Dolan. On this day, they would be introduced to their manager Damon Nelson, their co-worker Claire Clark, and a quirky projectionist named Jackson Hunter. On this day, these six individuals, from varying backgrounds, begin friendships that will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Fourteen years later, the entire group has been brought back together for the funeral of one of its members.

Through flashbacks, their friendships and relationships are exposed. From their college years to all of the times when they each left the Cinema only to eventually return to working there. The group will share their dreams with each other, and stand by each other as they fail. Resentment and betrayal tear apart some members, and put other friendships into resolved states.

However, in the wake of losing someone so important to all of them, the group puts aside their problems and issues, to spend another day celebrating the years of memories they have given each other. During this time, secrets are revealed. Some small and innocent, regarding secret sexual encounters or anonymous mischief that was achieved. However, the accidental discovery of a letter, changes everything and puts their friend's life and accomplishments into a new light. But, a light that has damaging effects on some people outside of their group.

The novel opens in 2010, at the viewing for the deceased friend. This "present time" is being narrated from the first person, thus denying the reader knowledge of who the storyteller is. This fact won't be revealed until halfway to two-thirds of the way through the book. This is to keep the reader unaware of which character is actually deceased. Gradually, main characters will show up at the viewing, and eliminating them from the reader's query, until it is revealed who has passed away.

Odd numbered chapters will be set in the "present" at the viewing, and then eventually the funeral and the gathering afterwards. Even numbered chapters will begin on June 7th, 1996 and progress in chronological order throughout the next twelve-ish years. There will be some gap between the last flashback chapter and where the novel picks up. However, the important events of these two years will be covered in conversations once the plot shifts to only the "present" which will likely be the final five chapters, or so.

So, YEAH. Now I've got these gears turning and I'm coming up with all kinds of ideas to continue this novel.

Sadly, all I really want to do is finish up "Perfect Life For Large Price", get a couple of people to proof it for me, make some revisions and get it out there and try to move a few copies. It would get me to my goal of being paid for my writing. And once I hit that point, and actually got a few dollars for all of my hard work on that novel, it would be much, much easier to knock out the next two.

I'm hoping I don't come up with anymore ideas. I think this will be a nice trilogy of novels under my name.

The Criterion Collection of Cathartic Comics

2011-07-08T02:40:00.001-04:00

For five hundred and eight straight weeks, I was in the employment of four different movie cinema corporations between Indianapolis and Los Angeles. I was an 18 year old kid with no direction in my life, who just really enjoyed films, hanging out with cool people, and spending time in the booth of Castleton Arts writing my first film with Jason.

I first became aware of the webcomic Multiplex in the spring of 2007, when Jason L. Maier told me about it. I remember spending my entire shift that night at G14 in the manager's office, reading every single strip that was available. For a while, I did a good job of keeping up with them, but over time I completely neglected the strip. And once I parted ways with a certain theatre company in 2008, I considered it a wake up call that I was never again going to settle for theatre job again. Sadly, after dedicating ten years of my life to the business, and never achieving more than fourteen college credit hours, I found myself in the nightlife of the bar-tending industry, where I lasted for two years.

Which brings the story to October of 2010. With a total lack of career options, I was forced to return to yet another theatre company, finding myself back in the booth after seven previous years of management, and I was once again a lowly booth monkey to thread and start films, and change trailers. Previously, my life revolved around working Wednesday and Thursday nights for changeovers. I found that those services weren't even required at this theatre. I was seriously just there to fill some booth shifts, as a favor granted to me by some old friends from previous theatres.

It was a pretty depressing time in my life, and I was not in a very good mental place, but then one day I was on my iPhone and in the Apple Store, when I saw the Multiplex App available for download.

So I did. And within two booth shifts, I read all 528 comics in the library at that point. I can not even begin to describe the effect that it had on my psyche. It reminded me of how much I used to enjoy working in this business. For my first two years in the industry, I'm pretty sure I spent everyday of my life at either Clearwater, Castleton, or Eastgate - and watched at least one film almost everyday. It was a great time in life. Then, I was blessed with working for Mann in California, and had the pleasure to make some really amazing friends in the industry that I still keep in contact with ten years later. It wasn't until I returned from California and jumped into management, that I began to lose my love of this job. When I went to work for Kerasotes, it was the first time I went to work at a company that I did not have friends at, and coming in directly into management, I chose to keep a distance from employees and not make friends with them. And from then on, I just made friends with others in management. It was a career at this point, I started making good money and it wasn't about the love of the art, it was about a paycheck.

But reading all of the comic strips on my phone, it brought me back to a place that I had lost, and always loved. My first three years in the business were some of my favorites, and I remember that family of friends that we had, and all of the late-night screenings, going to Perkin's until 6am, and all of the hours we spent discussing and debating films. All of these wonderful memories were perfectly captured in the characters and situations of the strips. The characters were easily identifiable for me, and I related to almost every conversation that Jason and Kurt had in the comic - to conversations that I remember Jason (Maier) and myself having at different times. Reading those comics helped put me in a better place mentally and reminded that I really do love movies, and working in this industry isn't so bad after all. Those who know me, are very well aware of the extent of escapism that I have through films and novels. Now, I will always have the Multiplex comics to reflect on, and put multiple smiles on my face.

Which brings us to my recent purchase of:
Multiplex: Enjoy You Show (Book One) by Gordon McAlpin.

I am seriously so happy to now have it on my bookshelf, sitting next to the likes of Charles Schulz books, Gary Larson collections, and Kevin Smith trade paperbacks. The book just looks beautiful. At over 200 pages, it's a nice, thick book, whose bright green spine pops out and catches the eyes of anyone who it perusing through any collection. As you flip through the pages of the book, the colors pop brightly off the page and look really great.

Ninety percent of the time, when I buy a DVD, I buy it for the special features. If it's a movie I really love, I don't mind buying a bare-bones copy, but it's those "Special Editions" and "Collector's Editions" and "Director's Cuts" and the "Criterion Collections" that really get my attention. The bonus features, the behind-the-scenes documentaries, the interviews, the deleted scenes, and specifically: the director's commentaries. Those are what I want. It's those extra pieces that make the purchase worth it. Taking me beyond what I've already seen, and giving me more.

The Multiplex book gives me as much as I could have hoped for, and more. You've got a great collection of Character Bios that are just hilarious one page comics. You've got a ton of comic strips that are all drawn by other webcomic artists, which is really cool to see these characters as interpreted by another artistic mind. Then, you've got an amazing collection of additional comic strips that I had never seen before. And one of them titled "Context is King" is now my favorite strip of the entire run, as Jason and Kurt are exiting the film "Serenity" had Kurt tries to explain to him how it would have made more sense if Jason had watched "Firefly", and then he discusses the idiocracy of FOX - which is a conversation I've had over a hundred times in life. Reading that strip for the first time, it was basically the epitome of perfection in my opinion. Finally, the thing I love most about special editions are the director's commentaries. I love hearing the thought process and ideas that go through any artist's mind as they are creating their work. Almost every single strip in this book has some kind of comment following the final panel. Sometimes it explains a pop culture reference, sometimes it draws attention to something specifically put into the background, sometimes Gordon just tells you what was on his mind that lead to the joke/gag/concept of the strip. It's the icing on the cake, in my opinion. There's a wonderful Introduction by the Real Life Kurt, which reads great, and is then followed a great Foreward from Gordon.

Last November, I dropped Gordon an email, because I wanted to let him know what a positive influence his work had on me. We exchanged a few emails, we've exchanged a few tweets, and this is one of the coolest dudes I've talked to. He's down to earth, he's appreciative of support, and he's just the kind of dude I want to support.

Since I consider myself an artist, I attempt to do my best to support other artists who I enjoy. Thus, I try to tell people about the iPhone app, when a specific strip reminds me of a friend, I'll post it on their Facebook wall, and I implore anyone that I know who collects comic books to purchase this book and support a solid dude who writes some amazing stories set in a very fun place to work. Personally, this strip hits me on a deep personal level, and now I need and want Gordon to get as much publicity and sell as many copies as he can: because I'm craving Book Two. I've already made room for it on the bookshelf, and I can't wait to see and read all of the great bonus materials that will be included with that collection.

If it were possible, I would put in my application at the Multiplex 10, even if they would only hire me to run the projection booth. Because they are some great characters who I truly enjoy having in my life.

Top Five Most Anticipated Films for the Rest of 2011

2011-06-30T02:53:00.003-04:00

1. "Another Earth". To quote Jason L. Maier, "If the film involves Time Travel or Alternate Realities, Shane is almost sure to love it." I don't deny this, and I think this film looks pretty interesting. The concept of the entire world knowing about a second mirror planet is pretty cool to me, and then the fact that they are going to send people to the second planet, makes me curious what happens. Can you run into your double? What would happen? Does your double come back to the original in your place? I've got lots of questions, and I want to see where it takes me. I'm hoping this Indie Sci-Fi is a gem like "Primer". Casting William Mapother (Ethan from "LOST") is also a nice bonus.

2. "One Day". There is something about this film that reminds me of the film "Reunion" that I wrote and directed in 2003. The concept of two people who can't seem to find the right time in their life to be together is something that appeals to me. I really like Anne Hathaway and I'm interested to see more of Jim Sturgess. The telephone scene in the preview always hits me pretty hard, probably because it's right after the scene of him carrying his mother. If I enjoy the film, I plan to pick up the book and give it a read.

3. "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol" (Dec. 16th). J.J. Abrams' Bad Robot is once again producing, and this time they've got Brad Bird ("The Iron Giant") directing the film. As with the third film, I am going to have to attempt to remove the "Mission: Impossible" moniker from the film's existence. The third film was an amazing action film, but really did not belong in the "Mission: Impossible" world. Only Brian de Palma got it right with the first film, before John Woo pissed all over the franchise with the terrible second film. I really loved the third one, but wish it some other random action film, or it's own franchise. This one, again looks to be a lot of fun and cool action sequences. Add in the casting of Josh Holloway ("LOST"), Jeremy Renner ("The Town"), Michael Nyqvist ("Män som hatar kvinnor"), and Léa Seydoux ("Midnight in Paris") and I'm really looking to enjoy this ensemble.

4. "The Adventures of Tintin" (Dec. 23rd). I've enjoyed the realiztic motion capture the Spielberg and Robert Zemckis have been doing over the past 10 years. Add in the fact that this one is written by Stephen Moffat ("Coupling" and the BBC series "Sherlock") and I hope that it's going to be a lot of fun. I don't know much about the comic, aside from when Samantha Brown was in Belgium for "Passport to Europe". So, I won't be looking for much, other than a fun and adventurous story, and good visuals.

5. "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" - American Remake (Dec. 21st). I absolutely LOVE the Millenium Trilogy that Yellow Bird put out in 2009. I think they are all perfect, and the trilogy weaves together a great story about friendship, and abuse, and two lonely people who find ways to help each other through very difficult times. Steve Zaillian has admitted that he re-wrote the ending of the American version of the film, which I think is IDIOTIC. That's why this is dropped down to #5, because of the fact that I know they screwed up (and potentially ruined) such a great film. I'll still jump to see it as quickly as possible, and it's got A LOT of good things going for it, including Fincher, Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara, and the rest of the cast.

Quasi-Number-6: "The Ledge" (on VoD currently, Jul 8th). Charlie Hunnam is enough to get me interested in the flick. It looks like a good psychological thriller, if it's done right. I really want to see the flick, but it's not super high on the list, because I'm in the process of getting my hands on a copy of the film to watch, most likely tomorrow night. So, I'm content in knowing I'll be (hopefully) watching it very soon.

BONUS INTERNATIONAL MENTION: "The Inbetweeners" Film (Aug. 12th). I have no idea if this is actually getting a stateside release. BBC America did play an edited version of the show, so it might? I truly hope they don't edit the film if it does show in the US. If it doesn't get an US release, I don't know when I'll get to see - basically, I don't know how long it'll be before a copy gets leaked online. I'm dying to see this film, and so happy they commissioned a few extra episodes that show the gang in college.

So, there's a lot of films that I'm planning on seeing and looking forward to. I really can't wait to see a trailer for Joss Whedon's "The Cabin in the Woods" - which might make it jump onto this list. But, of everything I've seen and read - these are the films that I'll be trying my hardest to see.

Some More Writing

2011-06-17T23:35:00.001-04:00

If you've been waiting, I've finally written the next chapter in "Perfect Life For Large Price".
CHAPTER 28 is now online, I sincerely apologize for the wait, I have no excuse. I've also failed at completing that novel within one year. I'm hoping that it doesn't take two. I'm trying to get re-focused on it. I love where the story is about to go. I'm getting close to the cliffhanger - which is where I will stop publishing the chapters online. And it's going to be good, and BIG, and make your jaw drop.

I've already written the Epilogue, so I know how it's all going to end, and I can't wait to actually make the time to get everything in between written. THANK YOU for those who are still reading.

And if the Sci-Fi world of "Perfect Life For Large Price" doesn't appeal to you, I've also started writing another novel. Something completely different, something that will be around for times when I personally just need a break from writing Sci-Fi, and want to write something more personal and more humorous.

Here is the description I wrote for "Waited on a Line of Greens and Blues":

The chronicles of a thirty-one year old man, and his attempts to prove to a girl that he is far superior to her douchebag boyfriend. Set in the alcoholic bar scene of Chicago eccentrics, Adam McKenzie serves liquor to people he likes, as well as to people he hates. Eventually, Suzy Leibensperger walks into the bar he works in, and he falls head over heels for her. Night after night, Adam listens to Suzy's problems, and provides an ear for her. And each night, he is driven crazy by the knowledge that she is still going home to be with her douchebag boyfriend. What does he have to do to open her eyes to him?

Adam talks life, love, friendships, failures, pop culture, and music; as he attempts to figure out his small place in the world, and how to make himself happier.

So, if that appeals to you more, then you can read CHAPTER ONE: "The Beginning is the End is the Beginning".

'Age' Doesn't Matter, When You Want to 'Rock'

2011-04-14T17:40:00.004-04:00

If you’ve ever been on a car trip with me, or if you’ve ever been with me at a bar when I’ve dropped five bucks into the jukebox; then you’ve got a very good idea of the kind of music I love. If you’re not lucky enough to know already, let me inform you: Anything from the 1980s and 1990s. Musically, my biggest regret in life was not being of age – or born yet, for that matter – to attend Woodstock. My second regret, would be the fact that I was too young to actually enjoy and appreciate the big hair metal bands and the pop-filled sappy love ballads of the eighties. Perhaps its an attempt to make up for that missed opportunity, that I constantly rock out to those iconic tracks, from some bands that I have really come to love.

In May of last year, I was in Boston hanging out with two of my NYC Theatre-savvy friends McNear and Samantha, when they told me about a show that they had just seen on Broadway, and that they knew was perfect for me. This was the first day that I had ever heard about “Rock of Ages”. When I finally got home, I made sure to get my hands on the album, and just from looking at the track list, I knew I was going to love what I was about to listen to. Well, let me honest, I didn’t love it. Not the first time, and not the second or third. I loved the songs, but the problem was that I couldn’t sing along with them because of the fact that they cut pieces from songs together and they changed keys and lyrics to fit together. Now, I enjoyed the creativeness of what they were trying to do, but it just made it hard to enjoy – because it was different from what I had been used to for so many years. Over time, I learned to like the album, but I never loved it.

Enter the Broadway Across America production of “Rock of Ages” at Clowes Memorial Hall. Seeing this production live changes everything, and I mean everything. So much is visually lost on the album, that I felt like I was seeing a completely different show. Of course, I had done my homework when listening to the album, and I knew the basic storyline that I was supposed to be trying to follow, while listening to all of these great songs spliced together into an attempt at a storyline.

I’m going to be honest, the plot of “Rock of Ages” is nothing to be praised. It’s simple. A small town girl, comes to Los Angeles in the 80s, meets boy, multiple misunderstandings keep boy and girl from getting together, boy and girl go separate ways, boy and girl finally get together. Let’s be honest, you already knew it was coming. The plot isn’t why you’re going to see this show; you’re coming for the music and performances, and the hope to be swept into a world of fond memories. The best thing about “Rock of Ages” is the fact that it doesn’t take itself seriously at all, it’ just a good, fun, rocking time to be had be the entire audience, as well as the cast who do a marvelous job of interacting with the audience during moments of well-played improvisation. You can’t expect too much seriousness from a show filled with ‘poop jokes’ and ‘no deep or complex characters’. I also shouldn’t forget to mention the STD jokes, numerous sex gags, wine coolers, jazz hands, and the perfect example of “The Friend Zone Trap” – all of these things are used in some genius comic manner. To further illustrate my point, as you walk into the show, they randomly hand out LED faux-lighters to guests, and throughout the show I saw a sea of LED, true flames, and cell phones being held up and waved to and fro.

The two most notable things about the show are these. First, all of the music is played live, on stage, by a four-piece band. No orchestra pit, no recordings. Instead, they put four very talented musicians in the background of the production, where you can watch them the entire time. It was great to see them get their moment in the spotlight, after the entire cast took their bow, it was a nice jam session for them on stage. The second thing about this show, is the fact that for the majority of the time, the background singers and dancers are girls walking around in bras and panties, for the most part. These backups are either cocktailers in The Bourbon Room, or strippers at The Venus Club. I can’t lie, when I say that their table/bar/pole/lap dancing provided some of the best eye-candy of any stage production I’ve ever witnessed. I felt like I was at a PG-Rated Kid Rock concert.

I don’t know if there was a better seat in the house, but I really enjoyed sitting where I did, as I was blessed to be in the row behind a group of mid-to-late fifty-something women. I knew I was going to enjoy my seats, when during the opening number Poison’s “Nothin’ But a Good Time” began playing and all six of these women started bouncing up and down in their seats. Moments later, when some of the dancers got up on the bar top and began dancing, I could tell from the looks that they all gave each other – that these women had been there before, in their youth. The appeared age-appropriate to have partied hard with their perms and neon clothing at a number of questionable dive bars three decades ago. Needless to say, their chair dancing and hooting/hollering didn’t stop with the opening number. This particular group of women were also in the large group of women who I felt were serenading me during Extreme’s “More Than Words” (which is wonderfully spliced together with Warrant’s “Heaven” and Mr. Big’s “To Be With You”).

Coming from the New Media/Digital Arts background that I once pursued, I’m always a fan of the integration of new media techniques into stage productions. “Rock of Ages” utilizes a collection of jumbo-LED screens above the stage to help convey various modes, tones, and settings for the production. I was originally captivated during the duet of STYX’s “Too Much Time on My Hands”, when a character on stage was on the telephone and interacting with the character on the video screen. In later scenes, like Foreigner’s “Waiting for a Girl Like You”, the screen is used to show the streets of the city while Boy and Girl are driving, and once they reach their destination, it has a beautiful overlook of the City of Angels at nighttime. The lighting of the backdrop and the images on the video screens are a perfect piece of the show that does a wonderful job of setting the mood for each scene.

While it’s former “American Idol” star Constantine Maroulis who gets top-billing and plays the “boy” of the plot, I personally believe the entire show is held together by the Shakespearean style narration of Lonny, played in this production by very memorable Patrick Lewallen (http://www.patricklewallen.com). Truth be told, it’s Lonny’s constant breaking of the fourth wall to engage the audience, that keeps the plot moving from time to time. His ability to humorously pop in and out of scenes to provide comedic commentary are also one of the highlights of the show. You’re sure to laugh when he pops into a scene with the line, “Yes, you did”.

I haven’t watched any of “American Idol” since the second season, so I really have no familiarity with Constantine, aside from hear a lot about him. If Justin Bieber has all of the little teens going crazy, then after last night, I can only imagine that Constantine is the Bieber for forty-something women, because they were all going crazy for him from the minute he walked on stage, and every single time he played the audience, it was to massive “oohs” and “yelps” from the cougars in the audience. All I had ever seen was the media hype, and now I will be the first to admit that Constantine proved me wrong in my preconceived notions of him. I expected him to come out into the show and demand to be the center of attention. Within the first minute of the show, I realized that he was perfectly fit to play the quite, shy, loveable loser made popular in almost every John Hughes film. Constantine was cool, he did a great job evolving the character of Drew from an insecure struggling musician, to a corporate sell-out, back to a pizza delivery boy.

Seeing how I consider Steve Perry one of the greatest vocalists of my lifetime, I have always loved the inclusion of “Oh, Sherrie” in the production, and naming the lead female after this song was a treat. In this production, Elicia Mackenzie does a wonderful job with the transformation of a sweet and innocent little girl, into a reluctant stripper. Visually, Elicia rocks the stage when she gets the ever-clichéd opportunity to dance on the hood of a car. Vocally, Elicia is constantly great, however at the conclusion of Pat Benatar’s “Shadows of the Night” she really lets go and sound phenomenal.

The most flamboyantly entertaining character in the entire production is Franz, who was played by Travis Walker in this tour. I don’t even know where to begin describing how enjoyable this character was. As funny as Lonny is, I have to say that Franz steals the show in every scene he is in. Franz is the centerpiece of the greatest moment in the entire production, during the singing of Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” – which from the uproarious amount of laughter, the entire audience agrees with me. But, brace yourself, because less than ten minutes later you’re going to be enjoying some more over-the-top Franz. Without a doubt, Franz has the greatest dance moves throughout the entire show. Travis Walker has some serious skills in that department.

The show also includes a great pair of hippies, still hanging around in the eighties. Dennis Dupree is the owner of The Bourbon Room, and was played by Nick Cordero to a stoner’s perfection. Dennis and Lonnie have one of the best duets, when they sing REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling” to each other – complete with photo montage on the video screen. Casey Tuma played the role of Regina, who is originally introduced as working for the corrupt mayor, only to end up as the leader of the protestors trying to prevent the demolition of The Bourbon Room. Her spunky attitude brings loads of comedy to the majority of her scenes.

I’m honestly curious how many hours of Bret Michaels footage was watched by Patrick Deiwick to create such a perfect rendition of him for the sex-crazed alcoholic douchebag antagonist of the production, Stacee Jaxx. Because from the minute the cowboy hat and tight pants strut onto the stage, it’s a perfect representation of everything I’ve ever seen of Bret Michaels. At this moment, not many of Stacee’s musical numbers are coming back to me, however a lot of his stage presence is. I remember the large number of gags he’s involved in, and his bathroom seduction of the starry-eyed Sherrie during Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is” is very enjoyable, and well played between the two of them.

I remember a few years back, when certain people were making claims about “crowd noise” being pumped into the RCA Dome. Had those people been at Clowes Memorial Hall last night, they most likely would have made the same asinine claims during the show’s finale, because it got LOUD. As the first few notes of Journey’s most popular bar song began to play, it was enough to get the entire audience on their feet, clapping, and singing along to “Don’t Stop Believin’”. It really made the finale feel like you were actually at a rock concert, and not a musical production.

Have you been paying attention to all of the name dropping that I’ve been doing in this review?
Poison, Extreme, Warrant, Mr. Big, STYX, Foreigner, Steve Perry, Pat Benatar, REO Speedwagon, and Journey. Well, let me just drop a few more from the show: Night Ranger, Damn Yankees, Whitesnake, Starship, Twisted Sister, Bon Jovi, and Asia. Aside from this show, and my iPod, I’m not sure where anyone can hear all of this great music together.

If you are looking for an amazingly fun and entertaining time, then you have to check this musical out. It’s one of the best times I’ve ever had going to the theatre. If you're older, you'll have a great time remember high school and college and rocking out to these songs in their prime. If you're my age, you'll have fond memories from growing up and catching the coattails of the rock era. And if you're a young thing, then you'll get the chance to be exposed to some of the greatest music you'll ever hear, and hopefully it'll gateway you into listening to more of this music.

If you haven’t heard the album, then I suggest you do yourself a favor, and go into the show now knowing what to expect, and soak in the entire experience first. Having now seen the production, I can say that it will make listening to the album much more enjoyable, as I’m reminded of the sight gags and character nuances that I was previously unaware of. The only thing missing from the show is The Outfield's "Your Love". Now, please excuse me, I'd like to get my face melted, again.

Chapter 27 Online

2011-01-13T14:51:00.000-05:00

Been slowly writing Chapter 27 over the past few days.
Finally got it online today, HERE.

Wrote Chapter 26

2011-01-08T15:42:00.002-05:00

Happened to really enjoy writing that chapter last night.

So, I kicked through Chapter 26 today.

Chapter 25 Done

2011-01-07T20:40:00.000-05:00

I wrote Chapter 24 on the night before Jimmy passed away.

It's been a little rough for me to even consider writing any more, just because of how I felt about the entire situation. I needed some time, I needed to mourn. I probably took more than I should have, more than I wanted to, and more than anything I want to finish this novel now. So, finally got the next chapter written.

Here is Chapter 25.

Wrote Chapter 24

2010-12-14T04:24:00.000-05:00

Most likely, it's a direct effect from reading so much Alex Cross while at work (in the past month I've finished two more Cross novels, and am 2/3 of the way through a third. After I finish this one, I'll only be one behind - I'm happy I've caught up so quickly), but tonight I just came from work with the desire to write a chapter - so I did. I'm glad I didn't sit on it, or convince myself to play video games, or something else. I actually came home, turned on "The Family Man" and after two solid hours of writing, I knocked out Chapter 24.

Chapter 25 is going to be a pretty easy one, and a pretty intense one, as David deals with the fallout of the information he's learned about Drea's alternate life, and things between him and Amanda are going to hit a new level of bad.

I'll probably do some more work on the "Grinchby" novel before I write Chapter 25, just due to the holiday season, and I'd like to get it out there to be read before the season is over. Maybe I'll carve out some time tomorrow to kick out a couple thousand words there.

Until then, CHAPTER 24 is online!

A Few Days Late

2010-12-11T01:59:00.002-05:00

Jason told me I needed to set a reminder on my phone, but I forgot, and now I am ten days late with this post.

Castleton Arts has been closed for FIVE years (and ten days) now.

Here is the article I wrote the first day I couldn't go visit the theatre.

It chronicles a lot of my experience there, the people I met, the films I shot there, and the premiere of "Consternate". It' pretty emotional reading, and lots of memories for me. I'm glad I've got this blog to go back to.

Published Chapter 23

2010-11-16T19:18:00.003-05:00

CHAPTER 23 is now online.

It's 11 words shy of 1,700 - so it's a little shorter than most of the recent chapters, but I still think it does what it needs to do for the story. It's a huge turning point in David's alternate life, and starts to set new things in motion.

I'm considering changing the title of the novel, and I've run a few names by a friend - but she was smart enough to tell me reasons why they didn't work. Turns out a lot of the titles I was considering were sounding like Self-Help Novels. So, I'm glad I had a voice of reason before I changed it on a whim. I do believe that a title change would be good. When I started writing, I wanted to give off a Philip K. Dick vibe for the novel, but as time has gone on and things have evolved - I'd really just like a title that appeals to more people, and might get new people actually interested in reading the novel, instead of being turned off by a bizarre title.

So, eventually the title will probably change, but not until I find something that sounds appealing, sounds interesting, and still conveys the primary message of the novel: Sometimes getting what you think you want, it's the best thing.

I'm happy to be writing on a regular basis again, and I'm thankful for those who read it.

Broke 50,000

2010-11-14T04:32:00.003-05:00

After publishing CHAPTER 22 tonight, the words count for the novel has surpassed 50,000. In November, NaNoWriMo tries to get people to write 50,000 words in one month. It's taken me eight months!!! Oh well, it's all good.

Lots of story still to unfold, so I believe I will easily hit my personal goal of 120,000 words.

It feels so good to be writing again.

Statement and Chapter 21

2010-11-11T01:41:00.004-05:00

First, I wanted to make a statement...
I want to apologize to anyone who previously had been reading my novel. I've become aware that it's been nearly four months since I published the last chapter. I hate to admit that I allowed personal feelings of inadequacy and depression to prevent me from making the time to write more. I finally feel that the way life is going now, I am mentally in a place to resume writing, and this overjoys me. My original goal was to complete this novel by January 1st, 2011. I do not see that as plausible, therefore I'm moving my target date back to March 23rd, 2011 - Exactly one year since I wrote the first chapter. I'm sure this hiatus has caused many to give up on the novel, but I would like to thank those who continue to give it a chance. I believe that I have an exhilarating ride to take you on, over the next 39-ish chapters. We've got a lot of love and mystery that still needs to be solved.

Second, I wanted to let you know that CHAPTER 21 IS ONLINE. Finally.

Two More Chapters

2010-07-20T01:43:00.002-04:00

Chapter 19 and Chapter 20 are both online now.

I don't know why I'm getting Chinese Spammed so badly right now - but it's annoying. So, comments are turned off again.

THANK YOU to the people who keep reading. I appreciate it. Also, if you haven't become a "fan" on Facebook, I would appreciate that too, just to make it appear that I'm growing some support.

I converted the first 20 chapters into a PDF, that I'm going to email to myself and download into iBooks on my phone - to see how it turn out. In theory, it will allow me to have those chapters readable in that application all the time. We will see shortly...

Next Chapter

2010-07-13T18:12:00.002-04:00

Chapter 18 has been published online.

Thanks to those who are reading the novel. It means a lot to me. I've gotten a lot of good and positive feedback just in the last week - so that makes me happy.

Again, I'm turning off comments - just because I'm tired of getting spammed, and not many "real" comments have been left on any of those novel-related entries.

Finally, I've been accepted and going through the process of becoming an online writer for an online publication. I'll be writing review for Sports Bar, Pizza, and hopefully the Pacers in the near future. I had to do some more paperwork for them today, so things are moving along. Sadly, it's probably not going to be something that can sustain me as a main source of income - it doesn't seem to pay a whole lot, and pay is completely based on the traffic that I bring to their site to read my articles. So, I'm going to give it a try. If nothing else, I'll be technically published online, and ultimately will be getting paid (a most-likely small amount) for doing what I love to do: WRITE.

I'll keep everyone posted and post links on here in the future.

Chapter 17

2010-07-08T04:22:00.002-04:00

When I got home from work at The Spot tonight, "Funny People" was on HBO, and I was glad - because it really helped me finish writing this chapter.

I've used that film before, because of it's concept of trying to get back with a lost love. If I don't have a sci-fi/time-travel/alternate universe flick on in the background (often "The Family Man"), I have used this one.

So, I kicked out about 2,000 more words (I was at 927 earlier, finished around 2,935 for this chapter) and completed CHAPTER 17.

I don't know how many people are reading this blog, and reading the book - but I'm turning off comments, because the comments I seem to get are from annoying retards in Asian characters, and I'm tired of deleting them. So, since no one has been commenting on the chapters - I'm just going to turn off the comments to avoid these idiots that I assume are Asia-Spamming me.

Anyone who is reading - THANK YOU. It means a lot to me. I seem to have lost a number of readers over the past few months. Perhaps most people don't like the random publishing, but that's how I've decided to do it. And I've been re-assured that in the past (a long, long time ago) novels were published in serial form. Even Stephen King has used the internet to publish novels in serial form. So, I enjoy it. And I do still have a few people who pay attention, and I am very grateful to have those few readers.

Chapter 16 Online

2010-06-24T02:47:00.002-04:00

GREAT DAY in World Cup action.
The FIFA Officials once again screwed up a call and attempted to prevent the US from moving on. Until Landon Donovan pulled off an extra time goal to help the US win Group C.

Better news (for me) was that Germany pulled off a win over Ghana and won Group D. They now face England on Sunday, and despite my love of London - I won't root against my Germany National Football Team.

Hopefully it's a good weekend for both of those teams.

Following the matches I began working on Chapter 16, while taking a few breaks here and there. But, I did finally finish it up.

READ IT HERE.

Chapter 15 Done

2010-06-17T21:02:00.002-04:00

Finally finished Chapter 15.
Been working on it a couple of days.

Should have more time to write again.
Day Job is closing tomorrow, and my last day was today.
Job hunting and working on my novel are my priorities.

Been looking into Apple SDK potential to turn my novel into an Apple Application. Something so it can be sold and read on iPhone, iPod Touch, and iPad.

Also looking into self-publishing on Amazon via Kindle.

Both have plus sides, both have potential to make a little bit of money.

I'll eventually look into the SDK for Android. Rumor is it's 100% profit and $0 upfront cost. When I get to that point, I'll be looking for any way to make a couple of books per copy of the book.

I'm still planning on doing the hardback self-publish also. I can't think of anything cooler than having my own hardback book on my bookshelf next to James Patteron, John Grisham, and Nick Hornby.

Enjoy Chapter 15.

Another Chapter

2010-06-11T03:11:00.002-04:00

Been kind of going through some stuff this week.
Going back to the day job, and dealing with a lot of drama/changes/issues there.

My only escape tonight was to watch the Lakers/Celtics game, and then write another chapter. It felt good.

It's published online now.

Chapter 13 - Not Bankruptcy!

2010-06-04T22:20:00.003-04:00

I started writing on Monday night, and got about 750 words written.

I then worked A LOT this week at the Day Job AND The Spot, so last night was my first moment of free time. I wrote about 300 words last night, just not in the right mind - I guess.

Tonight, I kicked out about 1500 more words and finished Chapter 13.

I'm really disappointed in having to go back to the day job. The money will be nice, but the lack of free time to work on this novel is going to upset me more and more. I love where I've got planned out to go - The next two chapters are plotted out on paper so far.

It's MAKING the time to sit down and get into "creative mode" that I need the free time to make happen.

I hope to continue to deliver chapters on a regular basis.

I want to finish this book. I want to self publish it. I want to have a hardback novel sitting on my bookshelf with my name on it, and the potential for others to do the same.

Anyways, I hope I continue this passion, I hope the story keeps evolving in my mind - that will make it much easier to continue writing when I do find the time.

That's in the future, we'll see what happens. Until then, you can read CHAPTER 13.

The update:
82 Pages.
29,090 words.
I'm happy with that.

Chapter 12 Online

2010-05-21T16:41:00.001-04:00

Spent the afternoon watching "The Family Man" - twice.

And writing Chapter 12.

Enjoy.

Chapter 11 Completed

2010-05-20T14:29:00.002-04:00

I started writing Chapter 11 on Monday night, and it felt perfect because I was writing late in the night, and that's when the story for Chapter 11 took place. I would wander around my living room, and easily act out the scene/sequence, which made it easy to write.

Then, around 2am, I had a thousand words done and decided I was pretty tired. I've got a number of errands that I usually have to run on Tuesday mornings, and I expected the next day to be the same.

I wasn't expecting my unemployment to somehow be denied, which then led to two days of personal issues clouding my brain and putting me in a pretty sour mood. Luckily, a little bit of that stress we lifted today, as I was finally able to pay the bills I had due, and now just have to wait to find out what the Indiana Workforce investigations say that they think I did wrong. I'm really confused, because I've been on unemployment for five months with no problems, so I don't know what they think I've randomly done wrong now? I'm sure it'll get resolved, it most likely has something to do with someone not realizing I was on partial unemployment, because I lost my main source of income. I don't know. I'm trying to relax about it.

None the less, I was really in the mood to write and finish up Chapter 11.

I'm coming to the reality that my days as a "professional starving-artist writer" are coming to an end, and I'm going to be forced to take any job, not just look for one that pays well (or at least more than my unemployment was).

Anyways, I've got Chapters 12 and 13 plotted out on paper, and I want to have them written before I leave for Boston. I know what/where I'm planning on Chapter 14 being/going - so if I get the other two done quickly, I might be able to add that one too.

I had considered taking my laptop on vacation with me, to do some writing if there was any downtime, but I decided that I'm just going to enjoy the vacation, enjoy my time with The Maiers, and bring a book to read on the car ride. I know I haven't been writing everyday (well, I write a lot more often than I publish) but I would kind of like to mentally feel "free" during my time out of town.

I'm really hoping to take a personal vacation this summer, for a weekend, to Nashville, Indiana. I'd like to spend the days walking around the city or the park, and then the evenings in my hotel room just writing and writing away, knocking out multiple chapters a night. Who knows if it'll even actually happen, but I would enjoy a little alone time to myself to do nothing but write. I can dream.

Anyways, this was a lot of rambling, just to announce that CHAPTER 11 is published.

Chapter Ten is Done.

2010-05-17T15:20:00.002-04:00

I kept getting distracted all day, but I finally made my way through Chapter 10.

I like it, it's one of the chapters that I've had planned out for a long time, and couldn't wait to get to.

Lots of good stuff on TV tonight, but then I'm planning on working on Chapter 11 later tonight, and hope to publish it tomorrow.

Chapter Nine Published

2010-05-14T16:39:00.002-04:00

I've just posted Chapter Nine.

Chapters Ten and Eleven are going to be easy - I've had them plotted out for a while, and with all day Saturday and Sunday to write them, I don't see a problem getting them both done this weekend. I'll probably need some time to fill in Chapter 11, but that shouldn't take too long, I'm sure I'll be thinking about it tonight. I know the overall event of Chapter 12, but I haven't even begun thinking about the storytelling of that yet.

After nine chapters, the word count has broken 20,000 words. Which makes me happy and proud at the same time.

I enjoy what I've done so far, and I hope you're enjoying it too.

Status Update on the Novel

2010-05-14T03:59:00.000-04:00

I'm working on Chapter 9, well I was working on Chapter 9 when my computer started acting retarded tonight, and after about every paragraph, it freezes up and then takes five minutes to let me write more. Needless to say, I need to turn it off to let it refresh it's idiotic self.

Before my laptop decided to act stupid, I was able to compile the first eight chapters into a "master" file on my computer. The purpose of the master file is to track the overall process. And I'm pretty happy with it.

I'm using the dimensions of my James Patterson hardback novels for my master file.
It's a 6in x 9in paper size, 1in top and bottom and 3/4in. left and right, with Times New Roman 11pt font.

So far, the first eight chapters come up to 51 pages. 17,865 words. Seeing how my rough goal is about 50 chapters, I think I should be able to hit my 100,00 words goal also (10 chapters should roughly be 20,000 words, multiple it by 5). Of course, I understand these are just arbitrary numbers, but it gives me something to strive for.

So, I'm going to rest on Chapter 9 tonight, I'm 800 words into it so far, and have a long way to go to cover everything I've got planned for it. Hoping to have it done by 5pm tomorrow - hopefully earlier.

More and More Science Fiction

2010-05-10T16:59:00.002-04:00

Spent three hours writing Chapter 8.
I don't know how 7 and 8 could ever have been one chapter?
Longest chapter to date, I broke 3,000 words.
I like it, looking forward to getting the next few chapters written.

I think I might write the Epilogue soon, just so I never forget what I want it to accomplish. If I have to alter it a little bit later, that's fine. I'm afraid somehow I'll forget what I want to do.

Anyways, READ CHAPTER 8.

My Dream Cast

2010-05-04T22:34:00.001-04:00

If you're reading my novel, "Perfect Life For Large Price", I wanted to give you the ability to visualize my characters the same way that I visualize them in my head, while I'm writing. So, I've put together my "dream cast", which are the people that I would attempt to cast in a film version of my story, and it's who and how I see each of my characters while I'm writing the story in my head. So, to help you see the vision that I see, I'm giving you my physical incarnations of my characters.

Henry Ian Cusick as David Monroe.
Yep, I never knew who he was until the second season of "Lost", but since then, I've seen him take the character of Desmond in hundreds of different directions with a huge array of emotions and amazing moments of acting.

And throughout the show, he's shown the ability to look different by simply changing his hair style and/or shaving. Something that will be utilized when David crosses into his other world.

Hugo Weaving as Noah Coleman.
I have to be honest, this is who I had envisioned when I started writing the story, but the fact that he's now be cast as The Red Skull really kind of hurts my vision of him when I'm writing. I love his voice, I love his charisma, I think he's perfect. I'll probably continue to try to write with him in mind, because I can't think of anyone I'd want to replace him with. He's a little younger than Noah is supposed to be, but I'd like to see him with some grey streaks in his hair.

Drea de Matteo as Andrea 'Drea' Crowe-Monroe.
Heck, I named the character after her because I could only picture her in the role. When I first became away of her in "Swordfish" and "Deuce's Wild", I was taken back by how hot she was. It wasn't until "Assault on Precinct 13" that I thought she could actually support a movie, and it showed me she can handle her own in an action role. I also recently watched a film called "Broken English" and got to see her in a very dramatic role, couple that with her small arc on "Sons of Anarchy" and I love what I see from her. And she's gorgeous.

Andrea Parker as Amanda Wilson-Monroe.
Truth be told, I've only sparingly seen her in anything since she played Miss Parker on "The Pretender", but that role has stuck in my head for almost twenty years. She's got a look about her, and the sarcastic feisty attitude that Miss Parker had was so perfect. She would perfectly be able to transition between sweet/sassy to angry/irate.

Sebastian Roché as Dominic McKenzie.
You know the face, but you probably will have trouble placing it. I had never known him until the TV movie, "24: Redemption", and then the seventh season of "24" when he played a mercenary in both. Then, I caught him on "Fringe", and really liked him. I was then introduced to "Odyssey 5", and realized that he wasn't just a good actor, but a great one. He'd be perfect to play the detective who Drea hires to look into what happens to David.

Wesley Snipes as Quentin Hooper.
I know he's become the King of Direct-to-Video in recent years, but I have always liked the guy. He has a good resume of decent films that I watched while I was growing up. The character of Quentin becomes important in David's other world, as they were high school friends who played basketball together. Looking at "White Men Can't Jump", I believe he's got that character trait covered. And when David asks for his help to go to war against The Centre, I can see Blade (or one of his many other action roles) coming to his aide.

So, there you have it. Those are the people I envision when I write this story. I hope it helps.

Chapter 7 was supposed to have a lot more going on in it, but once I came close to 3,000 words, I decided to break it up into another chapter. So, Chapter 8 should be pretty easy to write tomorrow, since I planned on the events being included in Chapter 7.

Ready For Some Sci-Fi?

2010-05-04T15:58:00.003-04:00

Are you tired of all the lovey-dovey-romantic crap I've been writing about these past few chapters?

Please believe when I say it's important to character development, and events that will happen later.

But, now it's time to begin the sci-fi fun, starting with the basic explanation of what The Centre has to offer.

READ CHAPTER SEVEN.

Another Chapter

2010-04-30T13:37:00.002-04:00

I started Chapter Six last night after I got home from work, but I just couldn't get myself into the right creative mindset to write it. I only wrote the first two paragraphs last night, so hopefully there's not some huge writing style gap between that and the rest of the chapter. If there is, I'm sure it'll get resolved in my various revision processes.

No matter what, I'm super happy that I'm able to kick out so many chapters over the past 48 hours. And as I've previously reported, I had up through Chapter 9 plotted out, I've since plotted out Chapter 10 also. And just thing morning, I mentally wrote the Epilogue to my novel. After the "main story" is done and resolved, I've got one final scene that I want to write, and I'm just super-smiling right now thinking about it. I think it will be the perfect way to end the overall story. OH! I just can not wait to write it!!! I suppose that's motivation to get writing more and more each day.

I'm currently around 12,000-ish words, after six chapters. My goal is to break 100,000 words, because then it will be considered a true "novel" by most organizations. Some places claim that 65,000 words is good for a mystery novel, but they also claim that 150,000 is good for a fantasy-fiction novel. Since mine is kind of a mix of those two, I'm aiming for 100,000 words.

Two similar-style novels would be "Catch-22" by Joseph Heller, with a word count around 170,000, and "Slaughterhouse Five" by Kurt Vonnegut, with only 50,000 words.

No matter what, the plot and story are the most important thing, but I do want to have a goal, specifically one that will allow my story to always be considered a "novel" in any competitive format.

Read Chapter Six.

Yet Another Chapter

2010-04-29T15:06:00.003-04:00

Somehow, I was able to get myself to write two chapters within 24 hours.
It's probably got something to do with the massive amount of support I've been getting this week, so I think it might continue.

No matter, I finished CHAPTER 5 today, and published it.

I've still got Chapters 6, 7, 8, and 9 plotted out on paper - the "purpose" and "events" that take place in each other them. So, it shouldn't be too hard to get them written soon. I'll probably start writing Chapter 6 in my head at work tonight, and hopefully will make the time tomorrow to sit down and make it real.

Thanks again to those who have been reading. I'm really honored when I get text messages telling me thoughts and feelings on the most recent chapter, and then I enjoy the texts/messages begging me to write fast and give people more. I don't know if it's just my friends being nice, but it makes me happy to read.

I hope people are enjoying the rough draft, I know in time I'll have to go back and edit things, and ask others to edit some things for me, but I've been really happy with the story and character development so far. I promise, by Chapter 9, everything will make a little more sense, and at that point, the "fun" adventure begins for these characters that I'm introducing you to.

Chapter Four is up.

2010-04-29T00:57:00.001-04:00

Chapter Four has been published.
Enjoy!

Chapter 3 is done.

2010-04-22T17:14:00.001-04:00

I just published the first draft of Chapter 3.

You can read it here.

Perfect Life For Large Price: Chapter 2

2010-04-16T22:06:00.002-04:00

LINK TO CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

David Monroe was only halfway finished with his waffles, but he was ready to leave. He took larger than usual drinks of his coffee, in an attempt to finish it quicker. At this point, he just wanted to get out of his brownstone, and make his way to his office. He was overly annoyed with the front page of the New York Times, and had to turn off the morning news, because they were talking about the same ridiculous story for forty minutes. It annoyed him so much that he decided not to finish breakfast, and to add a shot of Jameson whiskey to his last drink of coffee.
David didn’t care about the mugging and murder of some Miami Playboy, who found himself on the wrong side of 96th street and too far east of Fifth Avenue. Why would some rich fool venture up there anyways? He was probably looking for some Spanish Whores, and ended up messing with the wrong people.

What annoyed David the most about his morning, was that he was trying to convince himself that he didn’t care, but because of all the media coverage, he just couldn’t take his mind off of the event. Nick Webber was some oil tycoon’s heir, who appeared to travel to New York City alone the previous day. No airline had any records of him purchasing a return ticket, which confused the police. A taxi driver had picked him up at JFK airport, and dropped him off in the middle of Times Square. The cab driver swears that Mr. Webber had no luggage with him, another confusing fact.

David walked up two flights of stairs, to the master bedroom, where the sunlight was beginning to shine in through the massive window, and onto the bed, where he paused fro a moment to look at his wife, Drea. As she began to stir awake, he quickly made his way into the bathroom, to finish getting ready for work. He brushed his teeth, rinsed his mouth, combed his hair, and added his signature Aqua Velva scent. The Aqua Velva was something he picked up from his grandfather many, many years ago. “The ladies love it,” was what Grandpa Monroe would tell him. The irony of it all was that hi wife didn’t really like it, but for some reason David continued to wear it. Maybe it was because of the way his secretary looked at him every day? Maybe it was because of the flirting he received from Maggie and the other waitresses at Dunham’s Pub? They did always lean in a little closer and take their sweet time when delivering his pints of lager. Maybe he was just conditioned to do it? Or, maybe it was just something he did to spite his wife? She often bought him other bottle of cologne or body spray, but he just piled them up into the medicine cabinet. On special occasions, he would wear them for her. But, on a day like today, his mind wasn’t on pleasing his wife.

When he left the bedroom, Drea was no longer in the bedroom, she was most likely waking up their children, and getting them ready for school. David found his wife in Susan’s room.

“Daddy!!!” Susan screamed as she jumped out of bed and ran to get a hug from her father. David picked up his daughter and spun he around while he hugged her and then set her back down on the ground.

“Would you mind waking up Steve?” His wife asked him, as she got ready to head downstairs and begin breakfast for the kids. David walked to the other end of the hallway and found his son already awake and playing his toys on the floor.

“It’s breakfast time, little buddy,” he says to his son. Steve gets up and walks out the room with a couple of his Army men in his hands. David rustles Steve’s hair as he walks past, but it gets no reaction from his son. David pauses for a minute and watches his son walk to the stairs, and then he just shrugs it off. He was twelve years old and just going through an awkward phase where he didn’t really want to show too much affection to either of hi parents. This was fine; Susan was five years old and had more than enough affection for both of her parents.

David walked down the first set of stairs and made a stop into the den to grab his briefcase and make sure he had all of his paperwork for that day. Two minutes later, he was down the next set of stairs and in the kitchen to say good-bye to hi family. He kissed both of his kids on their forehead, and then had another impassionate kiss with his wife. He supposed after twenty years of marriage, there really wasn’t much passion left, and it seemed like both he and his wife had lost energy to fake it anymore. They both admitted to themselves that if not for their children, they probably wouldn’t be together anymore. The still loved each other, and they both loved their family very much, but there just wasn’t any more passion between them. Over time, they just drifted apart. Neither one of them really wanted to face that reality, neither one of them wanted to admit to the world that they were just yet another failed couple. So, for the sake of the little family, and their parents, and their relatives, and their friends, they put on the masquerade of a happy family. It’s not like they hated each other, it’s not like they couldn’t stand each other; they just didn’t feel the spark anymore. They hardly ever fought. They barely ever raised their voices at each other. But, they also rarely ever made love anymore. David was often out the door by seven o’clock in the morning, and hardly ever returned home before nine or ten in the evening. It’s not that he worked this late, but he often made a stop at Dunham’s Pub on his way home. It was his avoidance of his situation. Sometimes a friend, or co-worker, would join him; but more often than not, David would drink away his disappointing life, one drink at a time.
After their lips separated, they looked blankly into each other’s eyes as they pulled away. David waved at his children, and walked out the front door.

Drea finished making scrambled eggs for her children, and turned on some cartoons for them to watch while they ate their cheesy eggs and Lucky Charms. She picked up the newspaper and started reading the front page, it was almost entirely dedicated to the murder of a millionaire. There was a picture of him in a suit, and farther down on the page was a picture of area of Spanish Harlem where his body was found. It was just south of Jefferson Park, under the FDR, and right near the water. The police assumed that the body was supposed to be tossed into the water, but for some reason didn’t make it. Forensics told the police that Mr. Webber was not killed at that location. His wallet and all of his personals were missing from his pockets. He was identified after his fingerprints were run through their system. Like most rich celebrities, Mr. Webber had more than a few interactions with law enforcement. Mostly misdemeanors involving alcohol and public intoxication, but nonetheless, his prints were there to match.

Drea sat back and wondered what it would be like to have that much money. It’s not like she had a bad life. David made a good seven-figure salary each year, and told her that she never had to work. Even if their marriage wasn’t the greatest, he liked his wife to always be available to their children, and he didn’t mind her taking the afternoons to go shopping, or do anything else that she wanted. He never asked anything of her, and he gave her the freedom to do almost anything she wanted. If she wasn’t going to be home in time for the kids, she had a nanny that was on call for her. Lupe lived on the same block, and was the live-in nanny for one of their friends. If Drea was going to be late, Lupe was always available to get the children and take them to the Anderson’s place until she came home.

But, what would it be like to have no children, no responsibilities, no bills, everything paid for, and the ability to wake up every morning with the possibility to do anything one wanted? In the article, it discussed how the Webber family had kicked Nick off the Board of Directors many years earlier, yet he still received a percentage of profits at the beginning of each fiscal year, a sum reported to be around ten million dollars. It also reported that when Nick turned eighteen, he received the inheritance his grandfather left him, a lump sum of fifty million dollars – after taxes – that each of his siblings and cousins also received.

Drea compared these numbers to their own bank account, in her mind. After twenty years of marriage, and ten years of David being a partner at his law firm, they had almost ten million dollars in the bank, and maybe another ten million in stocks. With the recent decline in the stock market, they may have lost three or four million dollars, but that was inconsequential to them. Their brownstone cost about four million dollars, and they paid it off in five years. They owned one BMW sports utility vehicle, which they kept in storage, and rarely ever drove; aside from their occasional family vacations to visit family. The car is also completely paid off. As far as finances went, the Monroe family were pretty set, and didn’t have much to worry about.

It confused Drea, why she was so fascinated with it. Until she realized that she was fascinated with something aside from the money, what really got her brain thinking was the lack of responsibility, while still being so financially stable. Before meeting David, Drea wasn’t the most stable girl. She spent a lot of time dreaming big, and living a much more lavish lifestyle than she should have. She was a small town girl with big stars in her eyes, and she didn’t make the best choices in her youth. However, she always felt in control of her life, a feeling she didn’t have any more. Everything was pretty much planned out, and she was just along for the ride now.

She put down the paper, and picked up the empty plates and bowls from the table. While she was daydreaming, both of her children had run off to get dressed for school. Drea ran the dishes underwater, and placed them in the dishwasher. She then made her upstairs to make sure her children were properly dressed, and she found them both brushing their teeth at the same time. She loaded up their sack lunches into their backpacks, and walked out the front door with them. The three of them sat on the front steps together, while they waited for the bus. Just like any other morning, the neighborhood kids came around and hang out in front of their place. Drea was kind of like their morning mother. It was honestly the highlight of her day, seeing all of the little kids coming around, and she would talk with them, and they would tell her corny jokes that still make her laugh.

Eventually, the bus would come, and she would watch all of the children from the neighborhood get onto the bus and leave her. She would then walk back inside, up two flights of stairs, and the undress in front of a mirror in her bedroom. She would look at her body, and wonder when and why David stopped being attracted to her? Even after giving birth to two children, she still looked fantastic, in her opinion. Sure, her hips might be a little wider than they were twenty years ago, but she just felt like it gave her more curves. Sometimes, while she was looking at herself, she wondered if anyone could see in the large window at the end of the room. She purposely didn’t close the blinds, and often hoped that someone was looking at her naked body. She wanted to feel attractive, she wanted to feel like the object of someone’s attention, even if it was just a lustful stare from an unknown man. She would purposely make sexy poses, just in case.

Eventually, Drea would crawl back into bed; under the covers, and back to her safe world. She didn’t feel like going out today. She planned on calling and rescheduling her hair appointment.

Today, she just felt like laying in bed, and thinking. Thinking about how she could maybe make her life better.

Perfect Life For Large Price: Chapter 1

2010-03-23T13:43:00.009-04:00

Noah Coleman was good at his job. He didn't enjoy his job, but he was good at it. There is a very large level of discretion involved in his line of work. Noah is probably one of the hundred smartest people on the planet, and he ended up in this job by chance. When he was much younger, he attended Harvard for four years, followed by another six years at Oxford. It was during his time at Oxford where he met his flatmate, and eventually close friend, Desmond Patterson who would later turn out to be his boss. Noah was probably more intelligent that Desmond, but it was the Patterson name and family history that provided the funding and ability for the men to do the things that they have been able to do.

Noah sipped on his coffee as he watched the second hand tick, tick, tick around the clock in the room. Today was a special day. Today was an eventful day. Most days were pretty boring, aside from the ones when he got to meet with potential clients. On an average day in the office, Noah spent his time reading report after report that his employees assembled for him. These reports were biographies on various millionaires in the world. These are not just any biography, they are extremely detailed lists of every major event in their lives. These major events were the selling points that Noah would use, if he decided any of these people were worth moving to the next level.

But today was an "event day" as they referred to them in the office. A client had already been approached, and an offer had already been made. The client had accepted the offer, and The Centre had already received payment. Noah remembered in the early days, when Desmond used to come down and witness the events. By this time, they had done so many successfully that it no longer interested Desmond, he just wanted the money deposited and didn't want to get up in the middle of the night to deal with things, he valued his sleep too much.

Noah valued his sleep too, but he had no choice. This was his job. Luckily, he had a very large and very comfortable couch in his office and would be taking a long nap in about fifteen minutes. The second hand moved upward and meet the minute hand at the twelve. The hour hand was sitting at the four, and Noah took one last sip of his coffee before he stood up, straightened his tie, picked up a glass of water and left his office. He took the elevator up to the lobby and met today's event: Nick Webber.

Nick Webber was a multimillionaire. Twenty-four hours earlier he was in his ocean-side mansion in Miami, sitting on hi massive deck, overlooking the flowing water in the moonlight. He had three beautiful naked women with him, and large amounts of alcohol and drugs in his system. Nick had been divorced three times, and never really loved any of the women he was married to. He was the heir to a Texas oil company, and never really had to work a day in his life. He had some serious regrets in his life, and by this point realized that he was an epic failure to his parents and grandparents. Nick had decided it was time to change his life, but he wanted one last night of debauchery before he made the life-changing choice that he did.

Noah shook Nick's hand and said, "Mr. Webber, are you ready to change your life?"

Nick nodded his head. Noah took a capsule out of his pocket, and handed it to Nick, along with the glass of water, "I just need you to swallow this for me."

Noah and Nick walked to the elevator, and proceeded back down to the fourth level of the basement. Noah had two offices in this tower that sat at the corner of 39th Street and 7th Avenue. One was on the top floor, where he could easily look down 7th and see the busy lives of thousands of tourists heading in and out of Times Square. His second office was four floors below the streets of New York City.

"I'm still a little confused why we're doing this at four in the morning." Nick stated, almost in a question form.

"Trust me Mr. Webber, we've got our reasons, and we know what we're doing," was the response Noah gave him.

"You've really done this before, right? You're not just pulling my leg? Or trying to rob me, are you?"

Noah was still a little tired, and now a little annoyed. He didn't feel like answering the moronic questions, so he just remained silent. This didn't ease Nick's anxiety, and he began talking more and more, to the ire of Noah. The elevator ride felt three times longer than it should have. The door finally opened, and Noah walked as quickly as he could out into the long hallways, with its bland white walls and bright fluorescent lights. Nick trailed behind him, mumbling to himself.

As annoyed as Noah was, this was not the worst client he had even had, and he prayed that Nick wouldn't end up vomiting all over the nice walls and floor, like Mrs. Dennison had done a few months earlier. Suddenly, Noah only heard one set of footsteps, and he stopped to turn around and see Nick frozen, as if he'd seen a ghost.

"I don't know if I can do this..."

Noah rolled his eyes and walked back towards to his client to give him this word of advice, "Mr. Webber, we already have your money. We've told you it's non-refundable. You made this commitment. You walked into my office and you told me that you felt like your life was waste, and that you had disappointed everyone in your family for not taking an interest in your family business, and instead chose to spend thirty years blowing money on women, booze, and drugs. I remember the look in your eyes when you told me that you wanted me to change your life, and make you something that your family would respect."

Noah paused for a second, and looked Nick in the eyes.

"If you don't come with me, and allow me to do what you've paid me for, then you're just going to go back to the pathetically wasted life that you have. I remember the look of shame in your eyes, and I've got a horrible feeling that if I don't make your life better, you will eventually put a gun to your head and end your self-loathing of this embarrassment of a life that you live."

Another pause, just for more dramatic effect. Noah knew the next punch he was going to take, and it was going to be a whopper. At this point, Noah almost wanted to see if he could make this man cry. Sadly for Noah, he wasn't going to get the chance.

"You're right. Thank you. Let's do this."

The two sets of footsteps were once again going down the hallway, and eventually reached the door to The Chamber. Noah opened the door and ushered Nick in. There were three employees sitting at various computer stations surrounding a circular platform with wires running to three poles that were on various sides of the stand.

One of the employees walked up to Nick and took him by the arm, moving him towards the platform, "Please just stand in the middle and be as still as possible."

"Is there any preparations or anything?" Questioned Nick.

"Sir, we've done all the prep work that was needed, all we need now is for your to stand perfectly still, and open your mind".

The employee, Ridley, ran back over to his computer and started punching away at buttons.

Nick stood on the platform and scanned the rather vapid room. There was nothing aside from the platform, poles, and computers. With every passing second, Nick became more and more scared. Then he heard some type of electric humming sound, and it got louder and louder. Suddenly, hi head began to feel very light, as if his skull was getting bigger and taking any and all pressure off of his brain. He tried to open his eyes, but they had fallen closed and he seemed to have no control over them anymore, it was just darkness as the humming got louder and louder, and then Nick heard a sound so piercingly high-pitched that it honestly felt like his eardrum exploded. At that exact same second, all the darkness Nick was seeing was replaced with an intense white light, so intense that it felt like he was starring directly at the surface of the sun. It felt like his eyes were melting.

And then it was over.

Nick's body collapsed on the platform.

Noah looked at Ridley, who gave him a nod.

Nick was obviously disoriented and confused, "Where am I? Hello? I can't see anything..." Nick repeated these phrases a few times, as he propped himself up, and eventually sat on the platform, waving his right hand around in front of him, and using his left hand to rub his eyes.

When Noah finally got to the platform, he starred down at Nick's confused body. This was the discreet part of his job that he hated the most.

Noah pulled out his 9mm Beretta 92FS from under his jacket and put one single bullet into the skull of Nick Webber.

As the three employees walked over to the body, Noah Coleman headed out of the room, and towards his office. It was time to take a nap before he had to go up to his other office.

The Best Sixty-Nine Years

2010-03-20T15:00:00.000-04:00

John Brown found himself sitting in his favorite chair, in his living room. He looked around at all the picture frames on the walls, and the digital photograph thing that his kids had gotten them for Christmas a few years earlier. As hundreds of photos transitioned between each other, John found himself lost in a reflective state of mind. Somewhere in the vast time of remembrance, a tear formulated itself and traveled down the grooves of John's face. It was the first of thousands of tears that he was about to begin to lose. Each individual tear carrying another memory with it. While the rest of his family was upstairs, hosting their memorial event, John just wanted to get away and spend some quality alone time with the memory of the woman of his dreams.

It had only been six hours since his wife, Anna, had been placed into the earth.

Six days before that, John had rushed Anna to the hospital in the middle of the night. She was complaining of serve pains in her abdominal area.

It was only two years before that when Anna had to rush John to the hospital, when he collapsed in their back yard while trying to pull weeds from her garden. It was John's third heart attack, and once again he barely made it through.

Earlier that year was a huge milestone for John and Anna, they became great-great grandparents, when their 16-year old great-granddaughter, Amanda, gave birth a child. It came with a lot of controversy, and many in the extended family were very upset with her, and her father - Brandon. But, despite the attitudes and the feelings, everyone came together when he was born, and welcomed another generation into their family. John and Anna felt so old, when they took a family portrait with five generations together.

Two years earlier, John and Anna celebrated their sixtieth wedding anniversary. Despite being such a huge milestone, and the grandness of their previous anniversaries, they decided that they wanted something smaller this time. They rented out a local reception hall, and had the entire family get together. Over the many years, their small mid-western family had expanded to all extremes of the country. One of their sons, James was in San Fransisco. One of their grandchildren was living in Alaska. One of their great-grandchildren was going to school in New York City. Many other members were scattered all across the United States. Some had moved for school, some had moved for jobs, and other had moved for love. All John and Anna wanted was for everyone to come back together to celebrate, and almost everyone made it. The only person who wasn't in attendance was Jackson, James' son, who was in Afghanistan at the time.

Five years earlier was September 11th, and after the attacks, John and Anna were so afraid to find out that Jackson was being sent over to Iraq. The first of three trips that he would eventually take to the Middle East. The Brown family was a life long military family, and Jackson was the fourth generation to serve, but only the second to actually see war firsthand. While John was proud of his grandson, he constantly worried for him. The art of war had evolved significantly since his time, and he was very concerned for Jackson's safety. Because of this, Jackson would write home to his grandfather three times more often than he would write to his own mother. Jackson always looked up to his grandfather, and as a child, he would sit and listen to him tell war stories for hours at a time. These stories had a great influence on him, and Jackson never forgot how important John was to him.

One year earlier had been John's second heart attack, the worst one. Every member of the family feared the phone ringing, for it may carry the horrific news. It took the better part of six months, and lots of rehabilitation, but John eventually seemed to recover completely. During this entire time, Anna was always at his side. But this was really nothing different from every other day of their lives. Since the day they were married, Anna never again had a paid job in her life. Family was her job. She was the model they used for the Stepford Wives. She had breakfast on the table at 6:30am, and dinner was always hot and ready at 5:00pm. The laundry was done twice a week. The kids had brown sack lunches ready every day. Anna always joked about the taxi services she offered. Between the three children, there was Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, basketball practice, soccer practice, volleyball practice, theatre rehearsals, church functions, and time spent working on their uncle's farm. It was a busy life, but it was the life Anna wanted, and making her family as happy as possible was the only thing she ever cared about. Joe knew he was a lucky man, and he never took his wife granted. So, after so many years of back massages, foot rubs, fancy dinners, flowers, and love letters; it was finally Anna's turn to take care of her husband. It humbled John, who always believed it was his job and his responsibility to protect Anna.

Four years before that second heart attack was the fiftieth anniversary of John and Anna's marriage. For this milestone, they finally took their Hawaiian vacation. James, Aaron, and Julie grew up hearing their parents talk about their desire to visit Hawaii. John was a avid military enthusiast, and visited almost every battlefield in North America, including Queenston Heights, Chatham (Ontario), Palo Alto, Resaca de la Palma, Veracruz, Salt River Canyon, Fort Sumter, and Gettysburg, of course. Many summer vacations were spent taking his children on long road trips to various small towns and open fields and giving them history lessons along the way. So, when John and Anna announced that they were finally planning their trip to Hawaii, their children spared no expense to make sure that it was the trip of a lifetime. Pooling their money and resources, the Brown children set their parents up with a ten-day vacation as an anniversary present. The vacation included stops on all four islands, and every possible historical tour that a person could take. Standing in the observation memorial for the USS Arizona was the most surreal experience that John had in years. The moment brought uncontrolled tears to his eyes, as he thought about the three friends he had whose final resting spot was directly below where he was standing. One was a family friend whom he only knew socially, but the other two were boys he grew up in the same neighborhood with, who just happen to be two years older than him, and had enlisted as soon as they graduated high school. John remembered the days before they left for Honolulu, and how excited they were to be serving their country. As a 17-year old senior, John was jealous and couldn't wait for that to be him. He was already registered, an just waiting to turn eighteen and graduate, and then he would be on his way. Less than six months later, two of his childhood friends would be dead.

Four years earlier, John and Anna welcomed their first great-grandchild into the world, when Aaron's oldest son, Brandon and his wife gave birth to their daughter Amanda. The elderly couple had to make a long trip to Richmond, Virginia to visit the newest generation of the Brown Family. As John held Amanda is his arms, Brandon asked, "Grandpa, will you tell her about the wars in this area?" As John began talking about the battle at Proctor's Creek, Brandon got nostalgic and he remembered when he was growing up, and listened to his grandfather talk to him and cousins for hours.

Five years earlier was when Anna was first diagnosed with cancer. It was rough on the entire family, as it took the doctors numerous visits and tons of tests to come up with what they thought was the problem. Science wasn't so advanced at this point, and this particular variety of cancer was a little lesser known, and not so understood. It showed various signs that continued to throw off the doctors, and it took a long time for them to finally narrow down what they thought it was. Sadly, they originally mis-diagnosed her, and it wouldn't be for many more years, with the help of advancements in technology, that doctors would realize their mistake. It's really too bad, because it's most likely that the treatments she was given this year, because the complications that eventually resulted in her body completely shutting down.

Five years before that was one of the most tragic events for the family. During a summer vacation to a lake house in the upper peninsula of Michigan, Julie's middle son, Edward drowned in a lake. Julie and her husband Charlie both worked in the legal system, and were both workaholics. Neither of them had been on a vacation in years. As their children were getting older, they decided that it would be nice to give them a nice, lavish vacation. So, they rented a large lake house at Lac La Belle for two weeks. John and Anna went up for a few days, and then returned home. Happy to get a small vacation in for themselves, and happy to spend quality time with their daughter and grandchildren. It made it that much harder, three days later when they got the phone call. Anna had to give the phone to John because she lost it as soon as she heard the news. Thomas, Edward, and Ashley took the paddle boat out on the water, eventually parking the boat and all getting out to play around. All three of them knew how to swim, and their parents had no worries. After a while, Thomas and Ashley realized that they hadn't seen Edward for a few minutes. The began diving down in the water, and it was Thomas who eventually found Edward, tangled in a tree underwater. The theory is that he somehow hit his head while swimming underwater, because disoriented, and thought he was swimming up, when in reality, he was swimming down under the tree, where he eventually became trapped and drowned. Thomas and Ashley got his body into the boat, and frantically trying to pump the water out of his lungs. Ashley paddle her hardest while Thomas beat on Edwards chest and tried to breath life back into his lungs. Sadly, by the time they reached the house and got their parents, it was a lost cause. Edward was dead. His siblings carried the burden and guilt for many, many years and the family did not take another vacation together until both Thomas and Ashley had graduated high school. It was one of the roughest times for the Brown family. Many family members made the trip home for the funeral, but a number of them were still missing.

Three years earlier, Jackson was born to James. Jackson was their last grandchild.

Four years before that, Martin was born to James. Despite being their oldest child, James was the last one to get married. He two children became the youngest of their generation.

The previous year, Ashley was born to Julie.

Edward was the year before that, Julie's second child.

One year earlier was a double whammy. Aaron gave John and Anna their first grandchild in April. And in June, Julie gave birth to Thomas. Their first two grandchildren came less than three months apart. And in October, James was married to Sarah. It was definitely an eventful year for John and Anna, and the entire Brown family. Lost of traveling was done by many of the family members.

The year before was a milestone for John and Anna. It was their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, and Anna went all out to plan a great trip to Europe for John. Ever since he returned from the War, John had spoken many times about wanting to go back someday. Anna was never really sure if he meant it. She heard stories of other soldiers returning and not being able to deal with the things that they went through and witnessed. But, after twenty-four years, John legitimately seemed interested in returning, and Anna had always wanted to see Europe, so she made the plans and surprised John a month beforehand. And Anna was right, John truly did want to go back. He was more than patient to wait for the cities to be rebuilt, so that he could enjoy them for what they truly were. He remembered various candies and treats that he used his money to buy while he was in Franc and Germany. He remembered walking through destroyed cities and wondering what they looked like in their prime. He knew his experiences were tainted by the war, and he always wanted to be able to experience these places the ways they were meant to be, by tourists. So, the middle-aged couple spent seventeen wonderful days enjoying France, Germany, Switzerland and Italy. John found numerous locations that he knows he was

One year earlier was Julie's wedding to Charlie. Sadly, James missed this wedding, as he was at the end of his four years in Vietnam. It was a long four years for Anna, more than John. Being a survivor of wartime, John seemed to believe that his son would return without any issue. Anna was constantly frantic, and hated going many months between hearing from her first-born son. It took its toll on their relationship, but John was a constant rock to keep her solid and help her through the rough times. When John finally came home, it was to a large family party, and John was finally introduced to Charlie, whom his sister stared dating not long after he left for Vietnam, and was now married to.

Four years earlier was the beginning of the rough times for Anna. It was an emotional goodbye when she was forced to watch John walk through the corridor and get onto the plane that would take him to his company, and only a few days later he would be on another plane heading to the South Pacific. She couldn't even try to strong about it. She didn't sleep for three nights beforehand, and when she made him his favorite breakfast, she cried the entire time he was eating it. She cried the entire time they drove him to the airport. She cried the entire time they were standing in the terminal, and she collapsed on the ground when was out of her sight. But John was there for her, and did his best to be strong enough for both of them. That summer was their twentieth anniversary, and despite the few months time, Anna was still an emotional wreck. So, for their anniversary, John planned a very special trip. Out into the middle of the countryside. And even though he tried to keep it a surprise, Anna was not dumb. When they were still an hour away from their destination, Anna knew exactly where they were going, and what it meant to that day. As they pulled up the winding road, Anna felt the most peace she had in a long, long time. When they finally reached the clearing at the top of the hill, and pulled up to the little white church, Anna cried again. But this time, they were tears of joy and happiness, as she thought back to spending a warm June afternoon in this exact location, twenty years prior. They spent the day walking around the grounds, talking about the events of that day, talking about all of the moments they've had since then, and they ended a perfect afternoon with a picnic. Not one person bothered them the entire day, and it was as if the world stopped just for them to enjoy the afternoon together. While it did provide ease while they were there, it's didn't last too long after she arrived home. Anna just could not stop thinking about her little boy, being in the heart of a war where thousands of people were dying. A few years later, that church would be torn down, and this special day was the last time either of them saw the church where they were married.

The previous fifteen years were filled with young love, and a growing family. Thousands of diapers for their three children. Sporting events for the kids. School dances. Summer camps. The family moved quite a bit in the beginning, but by the time James was set to start high school, John and Anna settled down in the city and house that they would end up living in for the next forty-eight years. The military took them all across the country, and it's probably why and how this family developed such a close-knit and tight family relationship. They always had each other to depend on, and despite what happened down the road, and despite the paths their lives would take, and despite how ever far they moved away from each other, this family always stayed close, because that's how they all knew life. Ever since Julie was born.

Aaron was born the year before.

And James was born two years earlier.

This was one year after John and Anna got married.

Which was two years after John returned from Europe, serving in World War II.

John had spent the previous three years in France and Germany, serving in the United States Army. John was prepared to sign up at age 17, but had to wait until after he graduated high school and turned 18, and on his birthday he signed his papers, and it was merely a few weeks later that he found himself in basic training. Which was a very rough way to start his very young relationship with Anna. He wasn't allowed to call or write her, and then he was only allowed to be home for one week before he was shipped out. He landed on the beach of Normandy only hours after the first wave, and John will never forget the thousand of bodies that he saw on that day. But, even while he was in Europe, he was able to occasionally get letter written and sent to Anna, and in those letters he begged and pleaded with her to wait for him, and to give him a chance to give her a wonderful life. John was madly in love with Anna, even though they had only been dating for a little over one year at this time. And John's letter's reached Anna, and touched her in so many ways, that she knew that she needed to wait for him to come home, and that she wanted a long life with him. She would read every letter he wrote, everyday, and she would lie in bed, staring into the paint patterns on her ceiling, while she day-dreamed of a future with John. She thought about kids, and grand kids, and a perfect life together. John and Anna did not have a perfect life, they had a life full of ups and downs, lots of good and some bad. But, when Anna was getting ready to pass away, and lying on her hospital bed, she looked at the ceiling in that room, and she thought back to being seventeen, eighteen, and even nineteen, and she compared her notes with herself. Marry the man of my dreams? Check. Have children, grandchildren, and a solid family? Check. Die in the arms of the man I'm madly in love with? Check.

One year prior was the first date for John and Anna.

John was a senior and Anna was a junior, and they met each other on the sidelines of a football game. John was a wide receiver for his high school's team, while Anna was a cheerleader. When John caught a ball and was sprinting down the sideline, he was eventually hit by a safety and went flying out of bounds. When he hit the ground, he rolled, and ended up taking out the legs of Anna. She tumbled down on top of him, and as he helped her up - they had their first "shared moment". John instantly thought she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. It might be going too far to say it was "love at first sight", but when John tracked Anna down the next day to ask her to dinner, it was mostly definitely love at second sight.

John did not have a car of his own, therefore he begged and pleaded and bartered, until his father agreed to allow him to use his 1939 Ford Deluxe Coupe to take out Anna. John took advantage of the car, and for the first hour of their date, they just cruised up and down the main streets of town, while they talked. They eventually ended up getting some Surf 'N Turf for dinner, before heading to the small single-screen movie theatre to watch "Babes on Broadway". It was during the musical number "How About You?" that John leaned over and kissed Anna on the cheek, and when she turned to look at him, they had their first kiss.

Five years later, at their wedding, they would have their first dance to this song.

And sixty-nine years later, while Anna laid in her hospital bed, slipping in and out of consciousness, John would be sitting right next to her with his arms wrapped around her, whispering into her ear...

"I'm so delighted I've ignited the spark within you. Let me continue to make it burn..."

Self Impossed Solitary

2010-03-08T13:10:00.000-05:00

I can feel the cold linoleum on my bare side. It's sending a cold chill all the way down to my toes. I open my eyes to look at the base of the toilet, it appears some of my vomit didn't make it into the bowl, and has dripped down the side. There's a small pool of orange-ish chunky liquid mere centimeters from my face. I feel blood slowly dripping out of my nose, across my upper lip and down the side of my face. It's almost like Chinese water torture, having to feel the slow moving liquid traverse so slowly. If I had more energy, or didn't feel like my head was going to explode, I would actually attempt to wipe it off. Instead, I allow myself this sadistic moment to remind myself that I'm actually alive. I've actually reached the age of 30 years, and one day.

I open my eyes again. How much time has passed? What time is it? What time was it last time? Maybe I'm thirty and two days, and I don't even realize it. Is it possible to sleep through an entire day? Isn't that called a coma? You can go three days without water, right? Can you go an entire day without going to the bathroom? Did I piss myself? I can't even tell. Are my legs missing? Are they so numb that I can't feel them?

I force myself to move, ever so slightly. Okay, I see two legs. That makes me happy. But, my pants do look wet, that doesn't make me happy. I close my eyes again. It was partially in relief, and partially because the light in the bathroom is killing me. Even with my eyes closed, I can feel my eye lids burning with light, and it's not pitch black in my mind's eye, instead it's a deep red color. I see lots of little bright lights swirling around. There's no way they can be real, and I don't know why my mind creates these things, their only purpose seems to be to make me dizzier and more nauseous. I force myself to open my eyes and face the bright lights. I believe that to be the lesser of two evils, when faced with the potential of emptying the rest of the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl. If there's even anything left in my stomach, which its very plausible that there's nothing in there at all, which would explain the pain I'm feeling down there. If that is the case, then I'll gladly take the bright lights of this little bathroom, over dry-heaving into the toilet. My throat is currently dry, so I can only imagine the extreme pain and discomfort that would result in. I'm starting to become aware of the discomfort in my right shoulder. Slowly, but surely, I force myself to roll over onto my back. Well, I started off slowly, but at one point, gravity just took over and there I was, looking straight up at the ceiling.

I should really put up more wall decor in this room. These plain white walls are just so boring. I've never timed my bathroom visits, but I've usually got a copy of Maxim or Sports Illustrated to read. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to give the record to this visit: This is almost definitely the longest I've ever spent in this room. I wonder what other people have thought when they've been sitting in here? Do they grab a magazine off the toilet tank and read it? Or do they sit and stare at the wall, bored? Artwork. I should buy some artwork. But, what kind of artwork do you buy for a bathroom? I'm thirty years old, I should know the answer to this questions. What does my mother have in her bathroom? I can't even remember right now.

Is it possible to sleep with your eyes open? I don't remember closing my eye, but suddenly it seems like time has passed. I mean, I know time has passed, seconds are ticking away, every second. But, it feels like a serious amount of time has passed. Then again, I'm really in no shape to judge anything. That's kind of a double entendre, I really don't have the ability to judge the passing of time, and given my current circumstances, I don't believe I can judge any other drunk human being I ever see.

I remember when I first turned twenty-one. Oh jeez, that was nine years ago. Anyways, I went into a bathroom at a club, and saw a guy down on all fours vomiting into the toilet of a public bathroom. I remember looking at the wet, dirty, disgusting floor and seeing his pant legs soaked in what I can only assume was water, urine, and who knows what else? I remember telling myself that I would never be that guy, I'd never be that pathetic. I'm sure it's somewhat hypocritical, but I still justify to myself that I'm in this position in my bathroom, and not some public place where anyone and everyone can see me and judge me.

This could possibly be the worst hangover that I can remember. There's been some bad ones in the past, and college is really a four year blur. But, when you never sober up enough to remember things, it's really hard to know what kind of headaches you ever had during that period. Wow. Today is also kind of a milestone, now that I think about it. And think is all I've been doing for the past... hour? two hours? Whatever. Today's a milestone. I've officially been an alcoholic for half my life.

It was on my fifteenth birthday, that I went over to Marty Buckner's house, went down into the basement to "play pool", where we actually swiped an open bottle of Smirnoff Vodka. It was really kind of like a military mission. I remember loosening up my belt by one notch, so that bottle was snug against my stomach. Marty went upstairs first, and did the recon, while I stood at the top of the stairwell. The kitchen was clear, the laundry room was clear, and then I heard the code words: "Yo Joe!" That was cue to dart through the kitchen, through the laundry room, and I jump through the open door into the garage. Marty closed the door and we jetted to our bikes, parked in the driveway. It was so exhilarating. I peddled as fast I could, trying to get farther and farther away from the scene of the crime, with each rotation of the wheel, I felt like I was untouchable. We'd just pulled off an amazing heist, and I had the booty resting on my bike seat, buckled in by my belt. We peddled six blocks away, to Owens Park, and scouted things out. There was a giant, three-leveled fort in the center of the park. This was where we usually played, but obviously, there was a bunch of other kids playing there too. On the back side of the park, there were four over-sized tires, half buried in the sand. We made our way over to them, and found them vacant. That afternoon, I took my first sip of alcohol. And my second. And many, many more. The bottle was probably half full when we swiped it, and Marty and I probably drank half of what was in the bottle. That night, when we finally returned the bottle, I remember using the bathroom in the basement to add water back into the bottle, to get the level back to where it was before we took it. To my knowledge, we got away with it. I know neither one of us ever got in trouble for it, and the night we graduated from high school was the only time we ever admitted to any of our friends what we did that afternoon.

From that day on, it's been a blur of fifteen years. Obviously, it wasn't easy to regularly get my hands on liquor, and I often did some shady thing to satisfy my urge. I stole bottles friend's parents, sometime with my friend's knowledge, sometimes not. I dated one girl in high school, and every Friday night we would kill about half a box of Franzia wine that her parents kept in fridge. I remember driving to school every morning, and buying a big bottle of orange juice at the gas station. I'd drink half of it by the time I got to school, at which point I'd pop open the trunk, and pull out a giant bottle of Dark Eyes Vodka, which I'd mix with the OJ, in order to make my school days much more tolerable. I was lucky to have friends with older brothers, who were willing to buy thing for me, as long I financially compensated them for their generosity.

College was easy access. Rushing a fraternity my freshman year meant there would never be a shortage of booze in the house, and there would always be a senior brother to buy me anything I needed. After college, it was game on in the bars and clubs. Granted, that got old and boring after a few years, and then I just found myself to be the guy sitting alone at the corner of the bar, sipping on a Belgian White Beer, and doing shots of Jäger combined with Red Bull.

Then, there's nights like last night. There's those amazing, and often rare nights, where a number of closest and best friends all step away from their perfect lives, and wives, and children, and families, and they just throw caution to the wind, and we remember what it was like to be young, and dumb, and foolish, and over-indulgent. I know that I'm not the happiest person in life, I feel like I've always made the wrong choices at the wrong times, and I've lost a lot of who and what I wanted to be, "when I grew up". But, I have to believe that even my friends who I look at as having "the perfect life", have to sitting in their minds believing that they didn't turn out exactly who they wanted to be. I think the majority of people in this world are living with "settled lives". Lives which they have mentally convinced themselves are good enough, despite all of the things they never accomplished. No matter how they feel, or what they think about at night when they lie bed, it's always a great time when we get together and all decide to let loose. I'm really blessed that I do have the friends that I do.

How long has it been now? Suddenly my head doesn't hurt as bad. Don't get my wrong, it's still pounding, but that sharp pain that felt like a knife stabbing into the front right side of my skull, has gone down to just a numbing pain. Maybe it's time to try to get up?

I do it slowly. I push my body up, and put my shoulders against the wall. I slowly move my shoulders up, until I'm sitting straight up. My body feels like Jell-O. I'm weak. My hands are shaking, and I can't lock my elbows in place. The room gets a little dizzy, but the feeling passes after a few minutes. I take a moment to bury my face in my hands, cheeks feel puffy to the touch. When I pull them away, they are covered in nasty mixture of water, blood, and sweat. I grab a handful of toilet paper to wipe of my hands, and look to my right to throw it into the toilet. Mistake. Obviously, my drunken self never remembered to flush the toilet and I was forced to look at a disgusting lake of orange swamp water, which its main color came from the loads of buffalo wings we gorged ourselves on at dinner. There were little islands of floating peanuts, which I remember grabbing handfuls of from the bowls on the bar top. There was something green in there, possibly a pickle? Maybe a jalapeño? Whatever it is, I don't remember eating that. I'm also not sure why my nose was bleeding, but it was obviously bleeding badly, because there's one area of the lake that looks like an oil spill of red hydrophobic polarization.

I toss in the toilet paper, and thank God that my nose is clogged with snot and other mucus, because I can't imagine what it actually smells like in this room. I listen to the water swirl around in the toilet, before I actually look back at it. Ugh, there's still some remnants in there. I'm going to hate myself later, when I actually clean this up. I put one hand on the toilet bowl, and the other against the wall, as I force myself onto my knees and then finally up to my feet. I'm sure the entire process took less than a minute, but it honestly felt like an hour to me.

Once I finally made it to my feet, I moved myself over in front of the mirror, and got the horror of seeing exactly what I looked like. I'm pretty sure I looked worse than most horror movie monsters from the last 1970s. I had unidentifiable liquids and dried substances caked to my face. I cranked on the hot water at full blast, and the sound cut through my ears and into the deepest area of brain. This caused my knees to buckle, and I had to hold myself up on the counter. I quickly turned the water velocity down to an auditory-approved level. I cup my hands and place them under the water, and spend a good long time washing my face. There's stuff in my hair, but I don't mess with it yet. A shower is my number one priority, as soon as I make it into the master bathroom.

I open the medicine cabinet, and pull out my painkillers. I've still got a couple of prescription drugs from a surgery I had last year. I've been saving them for a special occasion, and I think this qualifies. I pop two of them into my mouth, and almost instantly have a gag reflex. I stop myself, and quickly wash it down with water. I don't think water has ever tasted this good. Does water really taste good? I've never really been a fan, but this is amazing. Maybe I really love water? Whatever the case, it's my favorite right now, and I pour myself another glass. I chug the water like it's an Irish Car Bomb, and as enter my stomach, it's almost as if the water is giving me a recon report, and telling me: "I'm alone in here, your stomach is empty". It's at this point that I think it might be time to eat something. However, as I have that thought, it's juxtaposed with the other half of my brain thinking that if I put anything in my stomach, I'm going to be right back in front of that porcelain bowl.

I stare at myself in the mirror, while my brain argues with itself. Meanwhile, another part of my brain starts attempting to force myself to finally leave this self-imposed prison that I've been keeping myself in for who knows how long. I try to convince myself that I can move, I can walk, I can make it out of this room. I look at my splotchy red cheeks and wonder how long it's going to take those burst capillaries to heal up? I finally feel like I'm ready to go, but one step in, and I find myself holding onto the wall to prevent myself from falling over. My legs don't seem to have the blood flowing to them properly. My second attempt involves baby-steps, while I support myself against the wall. I finally make the short trip from the sink to the door, and when I attempt to free myself from this solitary, I look out into the real world with only one question...

"What happened in my living room?"

This is an entire work of fiction - I don't want to scare my parents! It was an exercise that forced me to write, and I wanted to test myself on my descriptive abilities to paint a visual picture to the reader, from a first person perspective.

I hope to write a couple of more short exercises, and then get back into seriously writing my novel. I pitched the novel to some friends on Saturday night, and was very pleased with the feedback I got from them, so I'm really forcing myself to MAKE the time to write everyday.

Top Ten Films of The 2000s

2009-12-22T03:07:00.008-05:00

Top Ten Films of the 2000s.

From the records I’ve kept, between January 1st, 2000 and right this minute, I’ve seen 859 films in the theatre. That’s an average of 85 a year, but this number is very badly top-loaded, as in the early 2000s, I saw many, many, many films that I regret, because I was working in the theatre business, and was willing to watch pretty much anything and everything – most often with Jason L. Maier. I remember the early years when we competed to break 100 films, and even the years that I did, Jason always saw more than me. In the most recent years, I’m lucky to break 40 films in the theatre. I just stopped being willing to watch anything and everything, and am much more selective in what I waste my time with. Now, for the record, this number does not include any films that I’ve seen on DVD or Made-For-TV. Which, most likely adds another couple hundred to the number of films I’ve seen over the past ten years.

I’ve been working on this list for the month. Because, once I narrowed down the films on my theatrical list, I started going through all the films I’ve seen on DVD, from memory. I went through my five-star rated films on Netflix, and through my DVD collection. It’s been a long process, but I think I’ve finally gotten it narrowed down to the films I’ve willing to label as “Shane’s Top Ten Films of the 2000s”.

10. “The Damned United” (2009)
“We grew up just a few streets apart in Middlesbrough... Close to Ayresome Park. He'll have known my street: Valley Road. Probably bought sweets from Garnett's factory where me dad worked.”

Ego and pride are perfectly captured in this well written, non-linear film. As it opens with a very arrogant and egotistical Brian Clough, and then flashes back to show you his progression, and the little events, conversations, and matches that transformed him and made him become overly obsessed with being a better football club manager than his rival. And, to increase his troubles is the fact that his “rival” doesn’t even acknowledge him. His emotions, and determination, are so perfectly displayed and acted, I think Martin Sheen was phenomenal. Colm Meaney was also perfect in his role. I really enjoyed watching Clough’s arrogance getting the best of him, and driving him, and causing him to do some pretty outrageous things.

9. “Primer” (2004)
“What happens if it actually works?”

By FAR, the BEST time-travel film ever made. Hands-down. Nothing compares to how this film handles time-travel. The best part of the film, is the minute that it is over, right after the “pay off”, it’s okay to start it over again and watch it a second time to see everything you missed. Since the film is only 78-ish minutes long, and it flies by, you will be longing to watch it again and see any mistakes. But, there are none. It’s perfect. Everything is set up from the opening dialogue of the film, and it plays out perfectly. As the device is used and tested over and over again, the concept of time, time travel, linear time, and changing the constant future are represented, and even debated in some amazing dialogue. On a budget of $7,000 to buy film the stock, I think this is one of the most original, well-written, well-planned, well-conceived films I’ve ever seen. It’s so interesting and intriguing, and the best three hours you could spend thinking about time travel and it’s abilities.

8. “The Prestige” (2006)
“You never understood, why we did this. The audience knows the truth: the world is simple. It's miserable, solid all the way through. But if you could fool them, even for a second, then you can make them wonder, and then you... then you got to see something really special... you really don't know?... it was... it was the look on their faces...”

Again, much like “The Damned United”, I enjoy the concept of obsession over being the best. Where this film is different from the previous one, is the fact that the two characters are actually competing against each other, and their continued attempts to do better than the other drive this great plot. It’s enjoyable to watch the transformation of the two characters, who begin as good friends, and then develop a continually growing hatred towards each other, in their solo attempts at becoming the best possible illusionist.

Christopher Nolan does an amazing job with the non-linear story-telling, through the reading of the journal. As the story is told, and unfolds, and you learn the lengths that they each went to, in their quests, as it unfolds. Finally, the emotional ending to this film, as the “pay off” is revealed during the final confrontation, and you learn exactly how much each man hand to give up in his life, over their feud, really puts everything into perspective.

7. “You Can Count on Me” (2000)
“I don't want to believe something or not believe it because I might feel bad. I want to believe it because I think it's true or not... I'd like to think that my life is important... Or that it's connected to something important...”

Mark Ruffalo and Laura Linney are amazing. Two siblings, both with years and years of baggage, both trying to do their best to live their lives. It’s nice to see two flawed characters work together so perfectly. As a troubled drifter, Ruffalo’s character comes in mysterious and it takes us a long time to find out why he hates his hometown so much, on the other extreme, you’ve got Linney’s character who feels like she doesn’t deserve better, and is forcing herself to stay, without ever chasing her dreams or aspirations. Their sibling feuds, and how Linney’s son looks up to Ruffalo is amazing. Rory Culkin’s performance is amazing, and I’m a huge fan of the “hammering” scene. I think it’s nice to see imperfection represented so well. They don’t come off as losers, they don’t come off as idiots. They simply come off as two people, trying to do their best, and their own insecurities stand in the way. Watching them play off each other works so well.

6. “Life as a House” (2001)
“You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant. It happened to me.”

This was a difficult one for me to put on this list, despite how amazing I think the film is. I saw this film in November of 2001, because I was really looking forward to seeing our future Anakin Skywalker. I remember walking into the Greenwood theatre, David Lichty got me signed on, as I went on my first date with Kristen. That year, for Christmas, I gave her a framed poster of the film, something that was in all of our domiciles together. Luckily, I had a second poster to keep for myself.

As far as the film goes, I think it’s one of the things that helped me with my own father issues. As all of my friends know, things were rough growing up, and being a “black sheep” in my family, didn’t make things easy with my military father. It’s a disappointment that it was so late in my life that I saw a film like this. Something that made me realize, life can change in any instant, and nothing in guaranteed. Luckily, I’ve never actually been stuck in a moment where I thought I was going to lose my father, but this film opened up my mind and my eyes to the possibility and knowledge that I need to do better in relationships with my family.

Kevin Kline is amazing. As a care-free man, who decides that he wants to reconcile things with his family, after many troubling years with his son. It’s really just an amazing dramatic film, with some good humor in it, that shows a wonderful transition in characters, as Hayden Christensen is forced to spend the summer helping his father rebuild his lakeside house. Honestly, it’s fairly basic, it’s somewhat basic formula, but for some reason – it works, and works well.

5. “Love Actually” (2003)
“Even better! Sam, you've got nothin' to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't! I never told your mom enough. I should have told her everyday because she was perfect everyday. You've seen the films, kiddo. It ain't over 'til its over.”

As far as romance goes, this film is perfect. The cast is perfect. Set in London, always a bonus. The things that work best in this film, is how it captures each and every possible nuance of every possible type of love. It shows you the love that a sister has for her brother. It shows the fleeting and flirtatious misplaced lust that a secretary has for her boss, and shows the mental anguish it put him through while considering her an option, while also showing you the fallout with his marriage. It shows you the true feelings between two porn-stand-ins, who have no problem being physically naked in front of each other, but find it awkward to be naked with their feelings towards one another. It shows you the failings of a young man, who decides to look for love across the pond. It shows you the budding romance between a powerful single man, and the woman he spends the most time with, while she’s organizing his life. It shows you the young budding romance of a little boy, who falls for his first girl. It shows you the hardship of losing love. It shows you the pain of watching the one you love, with your friend instead. It shows you the fact that true love and cross language barriers.

In all aspects of inter-twining story-telling, this film nails it. Perfectly. It’s not all about This boy loves that girl, while that girl longs for this boy. Instead, it just shows you everyday people, in different walks of intersecting lives, and how they love those people in their lives. It gets bonus points for being a Christmas film, but even if it wasn’t, it would be on this list.

4. “Untitled” (2000 – “Almost Famous”)
“That's because we're uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter.”

I remember standing in the booth at the Lafayette Square III, IV, V Cinema, hanging out with Jason, when he mentioned a screening of “Almost Famous” that was happening in Greenwood that night. Within minutes, he made the call to get me on the list, and I was flying at top speed down to the south side to watch the film, by one of my favorite directors.

The film is one of the best coming of age stories I’ve ever seen, and probably because it’s a fictionalized version of some true events in Cameron Crowe’s life. Toss in the fact that the 70s are a time period that I would die to live in, and experience the music and the love of the time, when everything was free and not corrupted like this modern world, this film is true escapism for me. It’s a really chance to attempt to enjoy the life on the road, touring with a band, listening and discussing great music, and just socializing with lots of great minds. Sure, there is some drama, and sure William Miller has an article to write, but those characters that eventually take form his in interview, and the characters of observation that make the film so enjoyable. With a supporting cast that’s just as wonderful as the main cast, it’s really a lot of fun to watch – and also the first time I feel in love with Zooey Deschnel. The unrequited love shown through the triangle of William-Penny-Jeff work so perfectly well.

While I really loved “Almost Famous”, the directors cut which was released on DVD is a hundred times better. “Untitled” includes another 40-ish minutes that expand the film, and actually shift the narrative from William Miller to Penny Lane. The majority of the added footage expands on her relationship with Jeff, and makes her seems a lot less “crazy” or “delusional” as she might come off in the theatrical cut. When you actually see some of the conversations that they have together, and how he actually leads her on, and treats her, it makes it a lot more understanding with how she views him, and develops feelings for him. It’s just a wonderful film about friendship and love, and true friendship.

3. “Hooligans” (2005 – “Green Street Hooligans”)
“You know the best part? It isn't knowing that your friends have your back. It's knowing that you have your friends' back.”

Great film that covers a lot of good things. First, getting screwed over by a “friend”. Second, going far away, in an attempt to discover yourself. Third, hiding who you really are, because of your fear of acceptance. Fourth, making some of the best friends of your life. And fifth, learning how to handle it all when everything comes out in the open.

It’s just an amazing film about friendship. Luckily, Lexi Alexander had the good mind to leave a long story out of the film, because it just didn’t belong. The one small love-side-story that is present is such a small part of the story, but is still so important, that it works perfectly. The violence isn’t even the best part of the film, the journey taken to gain the acceptance of the others is the best part. Watching our main character develop from a small Harvard student who gets walked all over, and mistreated, as he develops into one of the main influences in a hooligan gang, is a wonderful character study.

The most upsetting part of the film is the misconception that it’s about “soccer”. While football does play a massive plot driver, there is only two scenes in the entire film that involve football being played. The majority of the film takes place in pubs, and revolves around the social aspects of the clubs, and how their fights are really more about respect than violence. The best scene in the film is when Claire Forlani arrives at the hospital and has an emotional outburst towards Charlie Hunnam. Very, very emotional scene.

2. “Memento” (2001)
“Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts.”

Christopher Nolan’s second film on my list, and it deserves to be this high up. Because it took non-linear story-telling to an entirely new level. It wasn’t just flashing back in time through the film, it was cutting between two story-lines that were moving in opposite directions, until they met in the middle. The film is often misrepresented as being told “in reverse”, when this is incorrect. Only half of the film is told in reverse, the other half of the film is told in order, until they converge.

What makes this film even better is the DVD release, which allows you to watch the entire film in chronological order. Which basically makes it a completely different emotional monster. Instead of watching everything unfold into the big “pay off” between Leonard and Teddy, in the end of the original cut, while watching the film in chronological order, it completely changes the emotional lay-out of the film, and allows you to see how manipulated Leonard was by Teddy. In other words, “Memento” is so good of a film, that it’s actually TWO amazing films in one, and I love watching it both ways.

The characters are so well done. The concept is so interesting. It’s really awkward to admit that I enjoy watching the manipulations that happen to Leonard, by everyone he comes into contact with. Watching the things that Leonard does to attempt to help himself, are just really cool and very interesting to see how they play out.

1. “Mulholland Dr.” (2001)
“It'll be just like in the movies. Pretending to be somebody else.”

I’ve been obsessed with “Lost Highway” since the first time I saw it, and I’ve always enjoyed “Twin Peaks”. So, when I was given the chance to view this film at an early screening, I was in utopia.

This film was given Number One on my list for one simple reason, after my third viewing, I wrote a ten-page thesis on the meaning and plot of the film. It was later amended and edited by David Lichty. Any film that causes me to think that much, and process everything under such a microscope, is enjoyable to me. The dissection of the different storylines, and characters, and potential events that lead to various potential outcomes, makes me so involved that I enjoy everything about it. I enjoy the mystery, I enjoy the sexuality, I enjoy the bizarre. I enjoy it because it’s not cookie-cutter, because it’s not the typical brain-dead crap that Hollywood pumps out each and every week.

I have always been interested in seeing exactly where Lynch was planning on going with the story, if it would have been greenlit as a TV series. When you look back at “Twin Peaks” and the potential for “Mulholland Dr.” and compare it modern shows of “Lost” or “Flashforward”, it makes me believe that Lynch was just that far ahead of the curve, and Hollywood wasn’t ready.

I realize that I’ve done more in breaking down the concept of “Mulholland Dr.” than I have talking about the acting, or the story. The acting is what it is, and the characters are well portrayed. But the story, it’s not worth discussing with anyone who hasn’t seen the flick, because I don’t want to give anything away. Granted, even if I did, most people would still be pretty lost, which is another reason I love the film so much, because I believe it’s like a nice little club to be a part of, when the film is not too complex for you to understand. Or, to think you have an understanding of a potential interpretation of the film.

There it is. My top ten films in the last ten years.

I do have some honorable mentions:
“Adventureland”, “Serenity”, “Thank You for Smoking”, “The Fountain”, “Reign Over Me”, “Match Point”, “In the Land of Women”, “ The Last Kiss”, “Dirty Pretty Things”, “Hard Candy”, “Lilo & Stitch”

Finally, the ONE FILM that I regret I haven't seen yet, from the 2000s:

"My Life Without Me"

Netflix has it as unavailable. I'm going to have to find a copy to buy online.

Thank You, Paris M. Goodrum

2009-10-16T18:30:00.002-04:00

Please visit the Thank You, Paris Goodrum Blog, started by Angie Engelhardt-Wittenberg, to read more stories and to submit you own Thank You to Angie.

Raise curtain.
Lights up.
Begin scene.

I was a fourteen year old freshman in high school, when I walked into third period in Paris Goodrum’s classroom on my first day of high school. I remember the stage at the back of the room, and I remember the black and white photos that adorned the walls.

That was fifteen years ago, which means that I have known this man for over half my life. But, the true reality of it, is that because I let my life get in the way, I’ve only had a few good years with him. Luckily for me, even when we were not in contact, the impression he left on my mind and soul have always been present, and have helped shape me into the person I am today.
It was November of 1994, when I was the only freshman male cast in “You Can’t Take it With You”, when I stood on stage and after each performance got to hear one of my senior cast mates give a “Thank You” speech to Mr. Goodrum, and how much he meant to them. It was at this moment, in my infancy of theatre experience, that I vowed to myself that I would be in all eight productions throughout high school, and in February of 1998 – that would be ME.

In a sad twist of fate, the Greater Power decided that wasn’t going to happen. It was fourteen months later, when Mr. Goodrum was forced to leave during production of “I Remember Mama” and it was in May of that year when it became official that Mr. Goodrum was going to have to retire from teaching. And with that decision, I was forced to forever give up that moment, in front of an auditorium of people, to publicly give thanks and adoration for the man who shaped me, taught me, and mentored me. It’s now, at this time, over ten years after my original planned time, that I take the time to open up my thoughts, feelings, and emotions to say “Thank You” to a man who I never got the chance before.

Henry David Thoreau. If Mr. Goodrum hadn’t have picked “The Night Thoreau Spent in Jail” for our Winter Play in February of 1995, I’d never have had my mind opened up to the transcendentalist philosophies of life. It would take eleven years, and numerous readings of “Walden” and “Civil Disobedience” before I made it to Concord, Massachusetts to visit Walden Pond, and see the history I had read about.

It was in November of 1995, during the production of “My Sister Eileen”, when I finally got Mr. Goodrum to allow me to read “Dear, High School” – the play that Mr. Goodrum had written, and performed at least once during his time at Lawrence Central. Mr. Goodrum said that his plan was to make this his final play, the year he decided to retire from teaching. I can’t lie when I admit, that in my perfect world, that would have been my senior year. More importantly, my senior year would have been mr. Goodrum’s 30th year of teaching, and I often told him, “Thirty years would be a good time to quit”. Sadly, he only made it to twenty-eight, and more sad is that life took us both in different directions. Those who know me, know that I have OCD tendencies, and when something important in my life changes, I do not adjust well to those changes. Instead of going into my junior year with aspirations of continuing my theatre career, I went in as wayward student who no longer knew where or what he wanted to do. This arrogant and egotistical person that I turned into, rebelled against the new regime of the theatre department, and quickly found myself an exile from it, at which point I walked away for good.

I can’t remember if it was 1998 or 1999, but I remember Mr. Goodrum contacting me to let me know that there was a showing of his play “Quanita and Beula vs. the Killer Squirrel”. It was in the basement of a Seniors Center, if I remember correctly. I’m going to have to go to my Parent’s house and dig through some old boxes to try and find the program, which I hope I still have. I remember sitting next to Mr. Goodrum during the production.

In 2000, Jason L. Maier and I went over to Mr. Goodrum’s house numerous times with copies of the script for our first film, “Consternate”. Mr. Goodrum read our various drafts, and did a lot of work with us on character development, among other things. I learned a lot about the revision and development processes from those long afternoons sitting in his kitchen, and going page by page through the script, and figuring out what worked, what didn’t, what could be cut, and what needed to be explained better. It was the last time I saw Mr. Goodrum was in January of 2001, right before I moved to Los Angeles, when I stopped by his house to drop off a DVD copy of “Consternate”. Once I got settled in L.A., we continued to keep in touch via snail mail, and I know somewhere I have a few letters written to me from Mr. Goodrum.

Upon returning from California, I made the mistake of allowing my life to get in the way. Girlfriend, wife, job, film-making, etc… etc… They were all excuses, and none of them are good ones. I failed. Not in a life-threatening way, but in a “I failed to keep in contact with someone I should have way”. But, those ripples continued across the water of my life. I re-read “Walden”, I continued to write, I tried to act in a few of our films. All of these things are leaves, which grew from the branches that I am, from the tree trunk that was Mr. Goodrum. Please let me assure you that this is a HUGE tree trunk, with hundreds of branches growing from it, each branch with many leaves to show the accomplishments of the trunk.

It was October 15th, of 2009 when I was contacted by Angie Engelhardt-Wittenberg, who was in all four of the productions that I was in. She had found a blog I wrote about the time I went to Walden Pond, where I made mention to Mr. Goodrum’s influence on that part of my life. Angie informed me that she wanted to start a blog, where all of Mr. Goodrum’s former students could come and say “Thank You” to the man who mentored so many of us. That brings us to today. And two hours ago, I was sitting in Mr. Goodrum’s living room, talking to him, catching up with him, reminiscing about high school and other times we’d spent together. He said the added weight looked good on me (I disagreed with him), he liked the film strip tattoo, but really liked the profile comedy and tragedy masks tattoo. He made comments about the blonde spiked hair, and told me that despite the changes, he could still see the student he remembered. We talked about the various projects I’ve done over the past eight years, and I was surprised when he asked if he could read any of them. I talked to him about my transition from film into my current project writing a novel. He admitted that his mind is too far-gone to help with any revisions, but he would still love to read whatever I will let him – and I will let him read it all. While he claims he couldn’t do revisions, I still feel like I could sit and have discussions with him, that will involve his insight – which would be just as good to me.

“There is a part in each one of us that never gets over high school.” This is a quote from Paris M. Goodrum today. I told him that I agreed 100%. I fell in love for the first time in high school, with someone I still randomly hear from to this day. Two of the best men in my wedding were my friends from freshman year to graduation, to this very evening. I was exposed to theatre and to the artists lifestyle in high school. It was a care-free and enjoyable time of my life, and I agree that a very large part of me has never moved on, or gotten over what my life was at that point. Mr. Goodrum and I were talking about my novel, and I was giving him the basics of it, and how it revolved around the death of friend, and a group of friends thinking back over the ten years that brought all of them to where they are now, the lies, the secrets, the things we do to keep our friendships as solid as we can. It was at this time that I asked if I could once again borrow “Dear, High School” so that I could re-read it, and see what kind of creative juices could get flowing from reading his play.

I made a decision today, that I want to keep Mr. Goodrum a part of my life for as long as I can. Last year, I lost two grandparents, and only have one left, who lives in Iowa, and I don’t get to see as often as I would like. I want to make sure he knows what he has meant to me, and I want to help him as much as I can. Seeing him in a deteriorating physical condition really hit me in a way that made me sad. I have offered to come over anytime he will let me, and told him that I want to see him as much as I can, talk to him, and hear the things he has to say about my writing.

And, the biggest thing on my mind right now is taking Angie’s idea one step farther. The idea of attempting to put together a documentary on Mr. Goodrum is brewing in my brain. Trying to hunt down as much documentation and pictures as I can from his time at Lawrence Central. Trying to hunt down students and getting their thoughts and feelings on film. Interviewing teachers who taught with him, and others in the performing arts department. I’d love to sit and do interviews with Mr. Goodrum about his many years of teaching, about his many productions and his favorites. I’ve love to pick his brain, and hear all of the stories that he wants to share. I believe it’s an idea I’m going to bring up to Mr. Goodrum at some point, because while I could do it without his involvement, I have to believe that it would be increasingly better with his support.

Mr. Goodrum is directly responsible for my passion and love of the arts, which is still present in my to this day. I entered his classroom as a wide-eyed naïve freshman, who didn’t know what he was getting involved with. Through him, and his student directors, I was able to be molded into someone who fell deeply in love with performing, with art, with storytelling, with physical arrangement, and with emotional connection to an audience. There’s a large number of people and events that have shaped my life, and Mr. Goodrum is one of the most important, because we met at a time when my mind needed to be molded, and he was the sculptor who took on the task. And now it is up to me, to make sure everyone sees his positive molding in all of my works.

Lights fade.
Spotlight on Mr. Goodrum.
Applause.

Shane's Answers to a Successful Circle of Blog Postings

2009-06-01T04:41:00.000-04:00

So, Troy has started something pretty cool.
It's one of those things that proves the power of the internet - and I think it's one of the great things about blogging. Troy has come up with something that seems to be spreading through our blog circle, and I would have gladly done this sooner, if I would spend more time on the computer at home. But, I'm sitting here now, and I am going to make the time to do this.

So, it started with Troy's blog about his one year anniversary.
The first to answer was John Peddie.
Jason contributed his answers on Friday.
Mike kept it going on Saturday.
And now tonight, I'm going to give my simple answers.

What is the first film you ever saw?
"Return of the Jedi".
And the strangest part was, I didn't even remember it until I was in first grade. We had the picture book movie adaptation to the movie in my classroom. I was looking at it one day, and the first picture in the book was C-3P0 and R2-D2 walking up to Jabba's Palace. I remembered that image, but didn't know why. So I took the book home from class and asked my parents about it. They then told me they did take me to the movies to see it.

What is your favorite film of all time?
"Abre los Ojos".
The character development is amazing. The story is really strong, and confusing - but as you learn more and it explains itself, it gets even better. Being forced to choose between life, friends, and love is a really crazy scene on the roof. And finally, when you learn how far one person was willing to go, because of their insecurities, the final shot of the film is wicked awesome.

What is your favorite line in a film?
"You know the best part? It isn't knowing that your friends have your back. It's knowing that you have your friends' back."

-Green Street Hooligans

What film made you realize that film was an art?
"Memento".

While "Pulp Fiction" was my first experience with non-linear storytelling, it wasn't until Christopher Nolan showed me how you can start at the end, tell me how it's going to end, and then still keep me interested, as I watch backwards and see how everyone was manipulating Leonard. The best, is actually watching the film in linear order, and seeing how it's a completely different film, and watching the manipulation play out is so dramatic.

What movie do you consider your guilty pleasure?
"Coyote Ugly".
Yes, it's a cheesy movie.
Yes, there is Leann Rhimes' music is in the film (but so is EMF!).
But, lots of beautiful women, dancing, and liquor - does it get better?

Who is your favorite movie character of all time?
Sam. Liam Neeson's stepson in "Love Actually".
The innocence of youth's outlook on love - perfect.

What is your favorite movie snack food?
Red Vines.
Thanks to Dione for introducing me to them many, many moons ago. I still eat them to this day.

Who is your favorite director of all time?
Cameron Crowe.
I really enjoy directors who write and direct their own work.
I like stories that are personal and emotional, and actually have meaning.
I think Crowe writes some really good scenes, has a very good knowledge of comedic timing and dramatic pacing. I like his looks at characters, and his accentuation of character flaws. No one is perfect in Crowe films, and I enjoy his exploration of how our flaws are what truly make us who we are.
I'm also a huge fan of he music he chooses for his films. I really enjoy the use of specific songs to compliment the visuals and dramatic situations.

Who is the most impressive filmmaker working today?
J.J. Abrams.
Aside from directing the Pilot episode of "Lost" and being one of the masterminds behind that show, as well as "Fringe" and the film "Cloverfield" - I think his two films are very well done. And I look forward to anything that has his name on it, especially if he's the director.

While "Mission: Impossible III" is not a good part of the "Mission: Impossible" franchise - it is a really, really good action film. Once again, starting with the nonlinear storytelling method of revealing "the end" (or close to the end) at the beginning of the film, really makes it enjoyable to watch the progression to get back to that point where you know you will eventually get to.

And, the more recent re-boot of "Star Trek" was so perfect, on so many levels. I find that Abrams is wonderful at casting, and getting perfect performances from his talent.

What quality do the best directors share?
Emotional connection.
A movie can be good, but if I don't emotionally connect with one of the characters, and really feel a true sense of their purpose, devotion, and feelings - the film is just good. For me to really love a film, I need character exploration and a vested interest in their personal journey.

Who is your favorite actor/actress of all time?
Jimmy Stewart.
"It's a Wonderful Life", "Rear Window", "Vertigo" and "Harvey" are all pimp.

Who is your favorite actor/actress working today?
Liam Neeson.
"Love Actually", "Taken", "Batman Begins", "Gangs of New York", "Schindler's List", "Michael Collins".

Who would you cast in a film about your life?
Charlie Hunnam.
Although, I don't know if he can do an American accent???
I've sen him with a shaved head and with long hair - I'm not sure how he would look with a faux-hawk.

Finish these sentences:

If you could remake one movie...
"Along Came a Spider".
The novel by James Patterson is SO AMAZING, and they ruined it in the film. Most importantly - the killing of Gary Soneji. A villain who goes on to torment Alex Cross for the next five books - most often in a roundabout way - not as the direct bad guy, until later, when he becomes hell-bent on killing Alex's entire family. The also completely changed the storyline about the kidnapping of the children, and horribly changed the first plot twist, when you find out who else was involved in the kidnappings. The 10 chapters of the book between Cross and Soneji while he's holding a McDonald's hostage is amazing - and needs to be included in the film. Soneji's year of confinement, while they still can't find the girl is also very important to the overall story and character development of the "bad guys". Also, the entire opening of the film was a waste, and not in the book - Cross never had a female partner that was killed like that. Neither of the current films address Alex's wife's murder - which is something that I would want to include in my telling of the story, as I think it's important to Alex's character development and explanation for many of his actions.

I never wanna watch a movie with...
...the name Uwe Boll attached to it.

The perfect movie is...
...Emotion Invoking.

Thanks to Troy for making this group of questions, and getting so many people to participate.

Today's Snoopy Pic

2009-03-11T13:27:00.002-04:00

So, this was how Snoopy was napping while I was writing my long Bayern Munich blog.

Today's Snoopy Pic

2009-03-06T12:56:00.002-05:00

I've been trying make a point of keeping my camera with me more often now - which isn't too hard since I spend 90% of my day laying in bed. Ever since Drew asked about Snoopy the other night, I decided I wanted to try and take more pictures of him, and post more of them on the blog. So, that's today's picture.

I Didn't Even Get To Count Backwards

2009-02-25T03:41:00.000-05:00

Nurse: "Hey there, how are you feeling?"
Me: "I didn't even get to count backwards..."

That's the first thing I remember after waking up from the anesthesia. And I'm not lying, I at that point, I was really bummed that they never asked me to count backwards. But it didn't matter for long, because I began to come to and realized that my surgery was over, and I was on my way to physically returning to "normal".

But, that's the end of the story. We've got a lot to cover before that.

This story goes all the way back to 2004.
In February of 2004 - FIVE years ago - I become involved with a group of guys who started an inline hockey league here in Indianapolis. I hadn't played serious hockey in years, and I was happy about gettin

Publish Post

g back into shape, and playing a sport that I loved. We played for six months, all the way into August. We cleaned out a ice rink on the southside of Indianapolis, and played on the concrete under a real rink. We had boards and benches, and it all worked out perfectly.

Sometime during those six months, the pain began.
It was just something minor, on my left side, lower abdomen. Just a little pinch. Nothing serious, and it didn't happen all the time. It was most painful right after playing hockey, and would normally go away after a few hours. Randomly, it would flare up here and there, but nothing common.

Post hockey, the pain seemed to go away. I eventually just assumed it was to be attributed to me being out of shape, and it was my old body telling me that I needed to work out more.

The first physical sign was in late 2004. I was still working at Kerasotes, and I remember going to the bathroom, when I noticed that there was some kind of bulge in my groin area. Nothing big, and it didn't really hurt, but it was only on one side, and it was kind of awkward. In my personal denial, I once again chalked it up to being out of shape, and convinced myself that I needed to exercise more and it would "melt" away - like the fat in my stomach I was trying to get rid of.

2004 and was the last year that I was physically "active" at my job. Once I left Kerasotes and went to Republic Theatres - I was basically in a desk job, which required very little standing. Aside from getting change for my employees, or the occasional shift time on Box Office, I didn't do much standing. Even when I ran the booth, we had a chair upstairs, so I had plenty of time to sit down. After the hockey incident, and the pain, I had kind of given up any physical activities for a while.

2005 went by with just the occasional flare-up of pain, but nothing serious or noteworthy.

The came 2006. The year when everything changed for the worse in my life.
It was March of 2006, and I remember waking up in bed one morning with a serious pain in my groin. I reached my hand down and felt myself, but didn't feel anything out of the ordinary. Then, I stood up to go to the bathroom, and gravity took over the insides of my body, and I felt "something" inside of my "move" - OR - "slide" downward through my groin area. I freaked out. It obviously was NOT normal, and it hurt badly. After going to the bathroom, I laid back down, and could once again feel my insides (which I have since learned were my intestines...) "slide" back around inside of me, and upon my personal examination, I seemed to be back to normal.

The odd thing, after the first time, it didn't happen every time. I don't know if things got "mixed up" inside of me, and gravity couldn't always pull it down, or what, but sometimes I would be "normal" and other times I would have a large bulging mass in my groin. It was not a fun time.

To top matters off, things with Kristen were well on their road to demise. We hadn't been having sex for some time, so it wasn't something she ever knew about, saw, or felt. Sadly, that's definitely a bad thing - because with her personality, she would have forced me to go to the doctor - despite my hatred/fear of them. And I probably would have had this fixed in March of 2006.

Instead, I kept it all to myself, and ultimately screwed myself over.

While married, I was on Kristen's insurance, and she worked for an insurance company - so from what I remember her benefits rocked, or so I was told. Kristen and I split up in April of 2006, and by June of 2006, I could tell that something was seriously wrong with the inside of my body. Despite Kristen and I's hatred towards each other at the time - I reached out with a small amount of hope. I sent her a text message in June that said, "By any chance, am I still on your insurance? If so, I need help." She was kind enough to respond, but her response was "No, I took you off a while ago." Fair enough. Once she knew she was going to file the divorce paperwork, why would she leave her soon to be ex-husband on her insurance plan? I don't blame her for it, it was all just some seriously bad timing in life. Had Kristen and I not been so unhappy together, and fighting so often, and been devoid of all sexual contact - then it's probable to assume that this would have been resolved in 2006, and would have been paid for by insurance.

But, that's not how the cards of my life played out. Instead, I was in a bad marriage and it ended in a way that prevented me from getting it fixed at that time. So, I was forced to move on in life, and live with the pain. I call 2006, "The Year of Naproxin Sodium". It was the painkiller of choice at that time. Despite the pain, after my divorce, I was attempting to get healthier and back in shape, so in April, May and June, Jason and I were going out and playing a lot of basketball (until his move out of the state). Yes, it hurt, but somewhere in the denial of my own mind, I thought that maybe if I lost weight, this whole thing would go away. I was dumb, and I can admit it. To make matters worse, I decided to begin using a weight-loss pill, and I bought a lot of them. It was around this time - July/August of 2006, that I noticed the bulge was growing in size and getting more painful. One day, when I was taking the weight-loss pills, I decided to read the box, at which point it informed me - the reader - not to use the product if there was a family history of hernias (among other things). At this point, I had no idea if there was any hernia history in my family - but I began doing my own personal research into hernias, along with Sports Hernias, which is how this whole thing began. Sports hernias are very common amongst hockey players, so there's no real telling when this whole thing was set into motion. It could have been many, many years ago in high school - who knows? I immediately discontinued using the pills. 2006 went on, and so did the pain.

2007 was "The Year of Advil". After so many months of using Naproxin Sodium, I was up well over 10,00mgs a day. They basically became candy to me, and I needed that many for my body to even function daily. So, I finally switched over to Advil, which I could get by with roughly six Extra Strength Advil a day. Over the course of the year, that number got larger and larger.

February 15th of 2007 was the first day I made any public knowledge of my situation.
I believe I finally broke down and told my parents a day or two beforehand, and then finally blogged about it on the 15th - almost two years ago. I remember that day vividly, as I was working at Fazetron-STTV, and standing in the lobby of my store, while talking to Jason on the phone. He had read my blog, and called me, and I broke down crying on the phone to him. He was the first friend I opened up to about the situation. A number of other friends asked about it, but I told them I didn't want to talk about it until after it was resolved. In some ways, I've been writing this blog since that day - in my head. I honestly never planned on it taking this long to get myself fixed. I was wrong.

The biggest issue was the fact that in my research, I learned that Insurance Companies consider hernias a "pre-existing" condition, therefore they won't cover it if it was present before my insurance coverage started - this is why being on Kristen's Insurance, while the bulge was small, was my only hope of getting any insurance company to pay for it. I remember in late 2007, my friend Matt had hernia surgery, and it was a fiasco with him, because our insurance company for the movie theatre tried to claim it was "pre-existing" and they didn't want to pay it. I remember him telling me about the battle that it took to get them to pay. This scared me, and made me realize that I really had no chance of getting anyone else to pay for it.

2008 became known as "The Year of Acetaminophen". 500mg tablets of Extra Strength Tylenol became my best friends. I'd take six in the morning, six in the afternoon, and six in the evening by the end of the year. That's 9,000mgs of acetaminophen each day.

Yes, I can admit that I have a problem. I have been addicted to painkillers for a long, long time. They make the pain go away, and that's all I wanted and needed. That's going to be the next phase of my life, is trying to make sure I can get myself off painkillers, and convince myself that I don't need them anymore. But, that's a different battle for a different day - and I'm getting off on a tangent again.

January to September of 2008 were life as "normal" - still at the theatre, still without insurance, still in pain - but I was still at my sit behind a desk job, walk around whenever I felt the need to. It helped keep the pain to a minimal, and I was able to survive. Then came the wonderful news that I was being let go from my job, which ultimately led me to employment at The Spot. And while I love my job so much, it's a complete change from what I used to do. This job requires me to stand for long periods of time, and be constantly moving. Within just the first few months of working there, I noticed that the bulge in my groin was getting larger and larger and more and more painful.

New Year's Eve of 2009 was the day that forced everything to change. I went to work at 6pm, and didn't get home until 6:30am. I take a nap, and then when I woke up I climbed into a nice, hot bath. I was sore. I was in pain. An insanely intense and unbearable amount of pain. I could barely walk, but not because of my feet - because of my groin. It was a very dark time in my life, one of the darkest I can remember. I laid in the bathtub, crying, wondering why this had to happen to me. As pathetic as it makes me sound, I laid in that bathtub, on New Year's Day, and wished that I could end my life. I was in so much pain, and was so tired of suffering, that I wished for the easy way out. Like I said, it was the darkest part of my life in many, many years. Many "bad" thoughts flooded through my brain. All the failures of my life piled up. My failed marriage, losing my job, relying on my parents for financial help, etc... I felt like there was nothing good left in my life. It was dark inside my head that day. I was sad. I was depressed. I was in pain. I hated my life. I loathed my life. I spent a good amount of time trying to figure out the easiest way to actually take my life. It was a dark day.

The good news was that eventually I grew up. I cried my eyes out. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. And I decided that I needed to do something intelligent and stop thinking all of these moronic and horrible thoughts. It was a Cowardly Hour of my life, that I'm ashamed to admit happened. Luckily, I never came anywhere near actually attempting anything. It was all foolish thoughts in my head, and eventually common sense kicked me in the butt and told me I was being an idiot.

For the first time that I can ever remember, I actually fulfilled my New Year's Resolution. Because sitting in that warm water on New Year's Day, I told myself that I would get this situation resolved in 2009.

I think it was a couple of days into 2009 that I talked to my parents about everything, and we began discussing options. A few days later, I made my appointment with St. Vincent's - which wasn't going to be until March 9th. After more talking with my parents, we decided that instead of going somewhere that was based on income, we should look into somewhere that specialized in this type of surgery, so that we knew what we were getting into. Instead of getting a "cheap" doctor who is working for small amount of money, we decided to find someone who did this regularly and knew exactly what they were doing.

We settled on the Hernia Center Plus.
We made my first doctor's appointment for January 28th. A LOT sooner than St. Vincent's. Then, January 28th came, and Indianapolis was hit with a wonderful BLIZZARD. My car was trapped at work from the night before - which was okay since my parents were picking me up, but when I called the office - they said that there was no guarantee that the Doctor was going to make it in that day. So, we rescheduled. The schedule was full the following Tuesday, which made my appointment on February 11th. Then, my surgery should have been on the 17th - however, the doctor was going to be out of town, so we had to wait an extra week. That brings us to Today.

Today.
Amazingly, I slept well last night.
I fell asleep around 2:00am - which was a bummer, since I missed some texts, specifically the one from Brittany. I woke up at 9:00am, which began a long three hour wait in my apartment, until my parents picked me up. Then, the LONGEST day of my life began. It seemed like all I did was wait. The surgery was scheduled for 12:45pm. I got there before 12:30pm, and waited in the waiting room until almost 1:00pm, when they finally took me to the first room. I got naked and then sat around for what seemed like a half hour (it was probably 10 minutes), before I was taken to another room, where I laid in a bed, got some shots, and then had an IV stuck into my hand. Yes, the back of my hand! It felt like a sword being shoved under my skin - it was painful. Whatever nice fluids were pumped into my body pretty much numbed the right side of me, which was weird, because I could freely move my left arm, but my right arm didn't want to co-operate very well. After lying there forever, and I seriously mean forever, I had a number of nurses come and introduce themselves to me, and tell me I was okay - I think everyone knew how nervous I was.

I laid in that bed for a while. Bored. Lots of thoughts rushing through my head. Thinking about lots of the things and people in my life right now. Anything positive that would keep my mind off of the fact that I was going to be cut open and messed with. Finally, the Doc showed up. We talked for a minute, and then he was gone. Then I finally started moving - I watched the ceiling tiles one by one, while I felt my heart rate begin to go back up - I tried to divert my thoughts back to happier things, but then we entered the surgical room. and despite my contacts being out - I could clearly see the large table with huge lights hanging above it.

I remember being lifted from the moving bed, onto the surgery table.
I remember looking up at the lights.
I remember someone telling me they were going to put something in my nose to help me breath.

Nurse: "Hey there, how are you feeling?"
Me: "I didn't even get to count backwards..."

I don't remember the anesthesia at all. I don't know when it happened. My last surgery in 2001 - they put the ask over my face and asked me to count backwards from 20. I remember saying 19, and that's it. This time - BAM. Wake up. No counting.

Nurse: "We don't really do that here."
Me: "Really? That sucks, I really wanted to count backwards."
Nurse: "I'm sorry..."

And then I dropped it. It was no more. It was over. Probably because I really needed to get up and go to the bathroom. Amazingly, I was awake and alert when I got up. I felt good, I felt fine. I made it to the bathroom - no problems. I got dressed - no problems. I could not get my contacts in, so I just waited until I got home and put in two brand new ones.

I honestly felt good most of the night. I wasn't in too much pain, at first. Over time, it became obvious to me that whatever wonderful numbing stuff they used on my groin - it faded away over time. As the night went on, it hurt more and more to move. Luckily, I get the pleasure of taking Vicodin! Yippy! They seem to help, and I'm sticking to the 2 pills per four hours requirement, even though near the end of the third hour, I'm in pretty significant pain.

I had done some DVD work for Jason McNear, so he swung by after he got off work, and talked to me while I finished it up and made him a second copy. McNear had previously had this surgery, so we got to talk about it a lot, and he told me what his recovery was like.

Later on, my Parents came back over. They bought me a thermometer, because I'm supposed to call the doctor if I ever get a temperature over 100 degrees. Luckily, I feel fine, although my last temp was 97.0 - which is a little low. Oh well, I feel just fine. My parents hung out for a little while, and we had a good talk.

Some friends had texts waiting for me when I got home.
Some new I would be home around 5pm, so I got texts from them almost right at 5pm.
Around 6pm, I sent out a mass text to my friends, letting them know that I was alive and well. I got a lot of responses from people, and some of my closer friends and I carried on some longer conversations. Zach called me and we talked for a while. He's thinking about stopping by tomorrow night after work. Sarah and I had a couple of long texts, she's been really helpful and supportive over the past few days. Jim called and said that he and Jae are planning on bringing over some pizza tomorrow night. Mike and I had a lot of conversations, and he kept offering to bring various food items over to me, but I told him to just go out and enjoy Tuesday Night at The Fox - where we all typically hang out on Tuesday nights. I think Mike might stop by at some point tomorrow too.

Troy, Dave, and Justin all left nice supportive messages on my blog. And Jason called me last night.

I'm blessed. I really am. I've got amazing Parents who have helped me through all of this. I've got some great Friends who have been super supportive, and are all willing to do a number of nice things for me, while I'll immobile. I'm blessed.

And now I'm on my road to recovery. In 2004, I weight 170lbs. Today I weighed in at 205lbs. I don't know if the hernia is entirely to blame - but I know it's prevented me from working out on a regular basis. It's made almost all physical activities painful. Hopefully, in six weeks, I can begin to start exercising and working out again - and with any luck, drop my weight back down to 170. I wasn't happy at 170 when I was there, but I will be happier there than where I am at.

Today is the start of a new life for me. Less pain. Better positive mental attitude.

My Five Year Long Ordeal of Pain is coming to a close. The finish line is in sight, and I can't wait to get there. Life is beginning to look up again. And after some of the texts I exchanged today - I think I have a lot to look forward to in the future.

Snoopy's First Camping Trip

2008-10-27T10:24:00.001-04:00

It rained.
We played A LOT of Euchre.
We played quite a bit of cornhole.
We played some Uno.
We made lots of campfires.
We cooked a lot of good food.
We dealt with annoying children who started The Snoopy Fan Club, and felt that they always needed to come over to our site to play with him.
We had a really good camping trip.

What I am sure is only the first of many trips, Snoopy came camping with us this weekend - and had a lot of fun. So much fun that on Sunday afternoon, when we got home, he CRASHED all night long, just laying on the couch and snoring a lot! (Actually, he's still passed out on the bed next to me right now - but that was after he woke me up at 8am, by sitting down on my face...) I think he LOVED the attention that he got from Jenny, Jess, and Josie and I think he got a serious work out trying to avoid getting beaten up by Jess' dog Katie - since Snoopy wouldn't stop trying to sniff Katie's butt. Here's a few pictures from the weekend...

Snoopy and I laying on the air mattress in our tent.

Snoopy in his bed, at the foot of my chair.

Snoopy enjoys some Peanut Butter Bread!

Snoopy loved the leaves and loved running around in the woods.

The Twinkie Man came by one night and handed out Twinkies.
Snoopy wasn't too impressed with him...

Jenny helped keep Snoopy warm.

Jess had an extra Doggy Shirt that she let Snoopy wear.
Here he is chilling in my chair.

Snoopy and I share my jacket, in an attempt to stay warm.

We learned a lot from the trip.

The cooler weather was better for sleeping - our tents weren't 100 degrees in the morning. But, heated blankets will be used next year, so that all of our sleeping bags and blankets aren't freezing when we climb into bed.
There was also hardly any bugs at all. A few moths bothered us, but that's about it.
The rain was an issue, with a little bit of flooding in some tents. We'll bring cots next year, for people who don't have air mattresses.
There was a lot less animals. We left some food items out one night, and no raccoons bothered it at all.
Since it was Fall Break for schools, Nashville was PACKED all weekend long. So, I think next year, we'll try a different weekend, which should be a little slower in town.

Overall, it was A LOT of fun, and relaxing. Even on Friday, while it rained most of the day, we found a Shelter to hang out at, and played cards, ate sandwiches, and had fun times.

We climbed the Fire Tower, and Jenny has a picture of Zach and I at the top - I'm waiting for her to email it to me, and then I'll add it to this post.

I'm really disappointed that we have to wait until next year to go camping again, I always have such a good time. Despite not being completely prepared for the cold, rainy weather, we learned a lot about fall camping - now we know. And knowing is half the battle.

"Purple Violets" Review

2008-10-17T01:59:00.002-04:00

"Purple Violets" is a film most people probably haven't heard of. Most likely, one or two (maybe three) of my readers are aware of the film, but since it was never released in theatres - I doubt many people have heard of it. The film, written and directed by Edward Burns, was originally distributed exclusively through iTunes, and later released on DVD. I came across the film via NetFlix - as it thought it was a film I would be interested in.

Interestingly enough, it turns out that this film has hit me at a particularly interesting point in my life. And I really enjoyed it.

The film basically revolves around Patti (Selma Blair). She's a "writer" and she's been married for seven years. And hasn't written a book in ten years, instead, she's become a real estate agent, selling up-scale apartments. Her best friend is Kate (Debra Messing) and one night they go out for Kate's 33rd Birthday, and end up at the same restaurant as Brian and Michael (Patrick Wilson and Edward Burns). It turns out that 12 years ago, these four people were best friends and two couples. Both relationships ended, for various reasons. Kate and Michael's relationship ended over a bad night and a misunderstanding about whether or not Michael cheated on her.

After the chance meeting in the restaurant, and Patti's failing marriage at home, she goes to one of Brian's book signings and then end up going to dinner to catch up. This begins a spark and sets things into motion for Patti and Brian to re-examine their relationship and what went wrong. During this time, Michael does everything in his power to get Patti to convince Kate to talk to him, so that he can get some closure over their bad break-up. It seems Michael continues to carry a torch - 12 years later - and hates the fact that Kate hates him over something that he didn't do.

I thought it was a wonderful examination of relationships (although much like Mamet's work, these characters really feel like they could easily cross over into "The Brothers McMullen" or "Sidewalks of New York" without a problem). And I personally could relate to both relationships that exsist in the film. On one hand, there's the old flame - right in my face - who I want to have sparks with, but there are obstacles in the way. Then, there is the break-up that ended badly, and ended over misunderstandings and hate-filled conversations. The "Girl Who Got Away" Syndrome, and the one I would do anything to get back - despite being stone-walled and bad-mouthed. Finally, it somewhat makes the point, that sometime loves can cross the boundaries of time, and while time doesn't always heal the wounds - sometimes the later words and explainations can ease the pain of the past. Relationships are a complicated thing, and I like the way this film looks at them.

Finally, the more important underlying tone and concept to the film is inspiration. While Patti's character hasn't written a novel in ten years, Brian has been writing a successful series of crime novels, but once he attempts to write something more personal - it's horribly recieved. Brian becomes a supportive confidant to Patti, and does his best to convince her to give writing another chance, by starting with short stories. I keep this blog, because it allows me to write and vent about things in my life. I haven't written a fictional piece of work in the past couple of years. And watching this film has somewhat inspired me to attempt to figure out something to write. And this is how I plan to do it: I'm going to create a new blog, and write a chapter at a time. I haven't picked a subject, genre, or anything else yet - but once I do, I'm going to begin my first online "novel". Fictional. Narrative. An online novel. And I'm going to hope it works.

Here's the trailer for film:

The Travelling Bubble-Gum Film

2008-10-16T19:01:00.007-04:00

It was last Saturday night, and I had nothing to do - aside from hang out with my friend Amanda. We decided that we wanted to catch a film, and we really couldn't agree on anything. Then, I showed her the TRAILER for "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist". She was sold, and we were out the door to watch the film.

It's taken me a while to compose this review. There's a lot of good stuff going on in the film. I've talked to both Troy and Jason about the film this week, and everytime I talked to someone, I was afraid that my review would look like it was just ripping off their impressions on the film, despite the fact that I looked at it much the same way as my friends.

I really, really, really liked the film. I enjoy films that take place in one day/night - such as "Clerks" or "Superbad". I like seeing just an interesting slice of a person's life. Now, I've had some wild nights in my life, and I've ended up in bizarre places with random people, and asked myself "How did this happen?". But, none of my experiences have come close to the fun and wild night experienced by Nick and Nora and their friends.

I like the music. It's lots of bands that I don't typically listen to, but one day would like to buy the soundtrack, because I really enjoyed the music in the film. I think its along the lines of "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" or "Singles" with its soundtrack. The music from various scenes fitting so perfectly with the actions on screen.

The acting was pretty good, and the character development was really well done. Starting witht he introduction to Nick's character, and then crossing into Norah's world, where we learn how she's been connected to Nick through the mix CDs he makes for his ex-girlfriend - which Norah ends up with. When they randomly run into each other at a club, and find out who each other is - it's the catalyst for two various intentions to run with each other. At first, Nick wants to use Norah to find out how to get back with his ex. And Norah wants to get to know her musical soul-mate better. Over time, its amazing to watch how the night plays out, and how their mixed feelings and emotions juxtapose and collide while two scared people learn to open up to someone new.

But, the storyline involves so much more than just two, new, random people spending the night getting to know each other. They both love an indie band named Find Fluffy - a band who performs secrets shows and leaves clues all over New York City to the location of the show, causing their fans to run amuck throughout the entire city while communicating with their friends to find the secret show. After Norah's friend (Caroline) gets too drunk to continue the night, Nick's gay bandmates offer to take her home, until they get side-tracked and Caroline escapes from the Gays. Thus begins a double-searching night, while everyone is trying to find Caroline and Find Fluffy at the same time. Thus begins the Journey of the Bubble Gum, as it makes its way all over New York City, finds various homes in various mouths while it makes its way from location to location. While its often sick, its sometimes funny, but by the end of the time morning comes, its interesting to reflect on everywhere this one piece of gum travelled over the course of less than 12 hours.

The film reminded me how much I love New York City. I've never had any "adventures" like this there, but the film just reminded me of all the good times I've had in the City with Jason and Letha, McNear and Noah. Walking around, going to random bars in the middle of the night, walking all over downtown and finding holes-in-the-wall where Letha knows. Nothing bizzare, no missing people, just good times in a really fun city. Like the Karaoke Night. Or the All-Day Football Day. Or my first night ever in NYC and the late-night dinner at Dallas B-B-Q. New York City is one of those places that some many amazing things can happen to you, and I'm glad I've always been there with friends.

I love movies I can relate to - on any level. Or, I love movies that just remind me how good and simple life should be. Life moves way too fast these days, there's so much going on and becoming an adult really limits the amounts of irrational decisions we are allowed to make. Everything begins to be planned out, everything becomes a cycle, there are daily things that can't be ignored and have to happen. Places we have to be, pets to take care of, chores that have to be accomplished. It's always fun to be removed from the reality of life, and taken to a place where life is simple and easy, and it reminds me of how I felt life once was. "Nick and Norah" did that for me. It reminded me of all the wild times and fun nights I've had with my friends. And luckily, I'll always have those memories to hold on to.

"Nick and Norah's Inifinate Playlist" is a fun, cute, and enjoyable film. It's a self-discovery film. It's a film about relationships and break-ups. It's a film about perspectives and expectations. And most importantly, it's a film about friends. It's not the most well-crafted storyline, but it's not crap. It's fun. And it's worth watching, just for enjoyment - and to watch the Journey of the Travelling Bubble Gum...

Probably the Very Last Person Who is Talking About "The Last Lecture"

2008-10-12T11:49:00.006-04:00

There are a number of people in this world who I feel were taken too soon.
River Phoenix.
Jonathan Larson.
Heath Ledger.
Chris Farley.
This list is all entertainers, because that's what I'm most interested and attached to in life. This next person is a teacher, and he didn't die young, but it really feels like he was taken well before his time.

Hanging out with my parents this weekend, they introduced me to Randy Pausch. 7 Million people have already watched this video on YouTube, and millions more on Google Video and other outlets.

So, I feel like I'm the last person to find out about this - since it was delivered over a year ago - But, I wanted to pass it along to anyone else who happen to not have seen this. I honestly believe it's worth your time. And I can honestly say that it has changed my life...

If that's not enough for you, then you can check out THIS WEBSITE, which has a five-part series of interviews with Pausch, Family, and Friends - Done by Diane Sawyer.

Distant Relative or Re-Incarnate?

2008-10-04T21:58:00.003-04:00

"Self Portrait" by
Edward Henry Potthast

Not too long ago, Zach went to an Art Museum in Ohio. And he brought me back a postcard, because when he saw it in the Gift Shop, he swore it looked like me. And, I'm going to be honest, I can't deny it too much. I do believe I see a serious resemblance.

So, I started looking into Edward Henry Potthast, and learned some kind of interesting things.

He was born on June 10th, 1857 - three days after my birthday, which also makes him a Gemini. And he was an artist - this could be translated into the modern "art" of film-making.

In the 1880s he traveled to Munich, Germany and studied. I planned on going to Munich last month... At the end of his time in Munich, he traveled to Paris before coming back to the United States. Again, I was supposed to visit this city last month...

In 1895, Potthast moved to New York City, and often spent the summer months at Cape Cod. These are both places that I have frequented over the past two years...

Although Potthast never married - at this time in my life, it feels like I never was either. Potthast died alone, and never had children. He was 69 years old when he died on March 9th, 1927. So, there's a chance that my death date could be: March 6th, 2050.

I'm considering not shaving for the entire month of October, and going as Edward Henry Potthast for Halloween...?

Grandma and Grandpa Together

2008-09-26T20:38:00.000-04:00

Later in the afternoon, we went back to the graveyard and were able to
see the headstone, which now has Grandpa's "2008" added to it. The
flowers in the picture were sent by Indian Creek Christian Church, Mom
and Dad's church in Indy.

Their bodies are now lying next to each other, but they are somewhere
better...

Lots of interesting tidbits to blog about. That will come later, when
I'm at a computer.

Two Grandparents in Two Months

2008-09-22T18:07:00.002-04:00

On the left is my Grandpa Flathers - who lose his wife, my Grandma Flathers, back in July.
On the right is my Grandpa White - who passed away about 20 minutes ago.

This day, at my Grandma Flathers' Funeral was the last day I saw Grandpa White. I have lots of fond memories of him, and am really sad that's gone. I know he had a lot of health problems, was in assisted living, and my Aunt and Uncle were doing a lot to take care of him. I know he was losing his memory, and I don't know how much of me he remembered. I was told yesterday - after he appeared to have a mild heart attack - that he told family members that he didn't want any more medical attention.

In the last few years, since my Grandmother passed, Grandpa White played a lot of Solitaire on his computer, tried to read books, and did a lot of sleeping. I'm really glad he was able to come down to Marshalltown for Grandma Flathers' Funeral - so that we could see how recently. Although, it was just earlier this spring when Judy and Alan brought him out for a few days.

I remember the trip that My Parents, My Brother, and My Grandfather took in 2004 to Washington, D.C. to see the brand-new World War II Memorial that was built. My Grandfather was in the medical field and was on one of the medical boats that landed on Normandy Beach to retrieve dead soliders and attempt to save any lives. Sadly, I was married at the time and unable to take the trip with them, I wish I would have, it would have been cool.

I remember when I lived with my Grandparents and every morning my Grandfather would wake up around 4am and begin walking the streets of Marshalltown, Iowa picking up bottles and cans that he would recycle (you still got paid for it back then!) and he would collect all kinds of "junk". I do remember a few years ago, when my Grandparents were getting ready to sell their house, my Father and I cleaned out a lot of his garage - because my Dad wanted some of the stuff - and we found containers full of hundreds of golf balls and tennis balls that he's found over the years, and all kinds of other junk that I can't even remember. My Grandfather was somewhat of a pack-rat and never seemed to want to throw anything away. I can only assume that's where I get that trait from!

I'm going to miss him. He was a really friendly and fun guy, who even in his old age tried to pull pranks on me, and would pinch my ears from behind for a good laugh. He was a great guy.

I'm going to do my best to make it to the funeral - once I find out the details. Sadly, with one of the other manager's on vacation, it's going to be difficult to find the time to leave this week. I hope I can work something out, but we'll have to see.

The ONLY good part about all of this, is knowing now that my Grandpa and Grandma White are back together again - in heaven - for the rest of their exsistance.

The London Holiday Blog

2008-09-17T18:54:00.000-04:00

It's a couple of days of late. I've been back in the United States since late Saturday night.
I've just been in a funky kind of mood, and didn't feel like blogging about the fact that I was home earlier than I wanted to be. In my "real vacation" I would be sitting in Philadelphia right now, waiting for my 6:05pm flight to come back to Indy. Instead, I caught that flight on Saturday night.

It was a huge disappointment when the Chunnel Fire happened. I was VERY interested to find out how few people in the United States knew about the fire. Most people I talked to this week had no idea what happened. Someone on the French side of the Chunnel brought an illegal substance into the Chunnel, and during the trip some brakes caught on fire, which caught a tire on fire, which in turn caused this illegal substance to start a big fire. It was a freak accident, something that hasn't happened in 12 years - but it randomly HAD TO HAPPEN when I was in the city. Trains were cancelled on Friday, and thousands of people were "camping" in the train station during my three hours there. From some of the people I talked to that morning, I was told that Ferries from Dover were selling out hours in advance. Sadly, I went into a panic - I was travelling by myself, and on a somewhat limited budget. I took the underground out to Heathrow, and spent a couple of hours out there, trying to get thing straightened out for a trip home from Heathrow. On Friday, Eurorail was saying that there would be no service Saturday or Sunday - and all of the flights I was looking into in Heathrow were more expensive than just flying home. I made a paniced and frustrated decision to just pack it in, and come home early.

Despite that decision, my vacation was AWESOME. And I wish my refunds from my Paris and Germany hotels were instantly applied back to my checking account - because I would spent a few more days in London. (This is what I don't understand, it takes them 30 seconds to remove the money from my bank account, but when I ask for the refund - it's going to take 2 to 4 weeks for me to see my money back into my account... Makes no sense to me. When I go to Wal-Mart or somewhere and ask for a refund, it usually posts the next day. They have my account information, there is NO REASON it shouldn't be reversed and back in my account in 48 hours. It's kind of frustrating...)

London was awesome. It was beautiful. I loved the architecture, and I loved the older feeling of the city. Walking around was awesome. Picidilly Circus and Leicester Square felt like a mini-Times Square. Not as crowded, not as many LED Boards, but just as cool feeling. Lots of theatres and restaurants all around, and a nice park in the middle of Leicester Square. Then there was Trafalgar Square, where I chilled for a good hour on my first day of walking. Just watching people. The traffic threw me for a loop for a long time, so I would just look both ways before crossing any street. The Underground was intimidating the first day - but once I studied a map of the city, and started to recognize east and west areas of town, it made the second day much easier. Had I never visited New York City it probably would have been a lot worse, but once I figured out how to read the Underground signs and knew when I wanted to go east or west - I had no trouble with it for the last few days.

My hotel was really nice. Small, but exactly what I wanted. I got a number of TV channels, and actually watched a fair amount of American TV. Trivia-Style Game Shows are HUGE over there, and I watched a number of them. I watched a comedy/trivia show called "Never Mind the Buzzcocks" which was pretty entertaining. I think I watched two episodes on the same night. I also watched two quiz-shows called "Eggheads" and "Wogan's Perfect Recall" - both were pretty interesting. The channels made available to me were pretty simple:
BBC1
BBC2
Sky News 1
Sky News 2
Sky News 3
Sky Sports 1
Sky Sports 2
Sky Sports 3
ITV1
(Channel) 4
E4
(Channel) Five
(Channel) Five US

Pretty basic and simple naming of their channels. The coolest thing was the each day, Sky Sports 2 would air NFL Today around 4pm, so I was still able to get updates on the NFL each day. I also watched a good amount of Rugby while I was in London, and I finally believe I understand the sport - despite years of Zach trying to explain it to me. I'm just a visual person, and I needed to see it all happening. It was pretty cool. I also watched some Snooker, and that was a pretty cool billiards game.

Most days, I would wake up early (8am-ish) and start out for the day. Then, I would return to my hotel around 4pm, after walking around and taking the Underground all over, so that I could drop off anything that I purchased, and I was usually pretty tired. I would watch some TV, and usually take a nap until about 8pm. At that time, I would head out looking for somewhere to eat dinner. The sad part about London is that during the week, it basically shuts down at 11pm. All the restaurants, corner markets, and bars are pretty much done at 11pm. On one night's walk "home", I did find an overnight market, and was able to pick up some snacks. Usually, I would grab a bag of chips and a soda to drink in my room, before I went to sleep for the night. I tried a number of different sodas that we don't have here in the United States. Most were not very good - specifically one called Tango. I tried their Cherry Soda, and it was horrible. They also offer an apple version that I wanted to try, but Cherry was so bad, I never did. Mt. Dew was nowhere to be found, I can only guess they don't make it available there. I drank Pepsi or Sprite most of the time. Also, Blue Moon was nowhere to be found, so when I had a beer it was always a Stella Artois. Both Doritos and Pringles offer a number of different flavors over there. Or, some of their flavors have different names. "Cool Ranch" was not the name of their Ranch flavor - it was "Cool Original" - which blows my mind, because I consider "Nacho Cheese" to be the original flavor of Doritos, instead that's known as "Tangy Cheese". I tried some "Chili Heatwave" and really liked them, they were very similar to the new "Spicy Chili" that we have here in the States. I also tried some Paparika Pringles - they weren't really as good as I expected them to be, not horrible, and I ate half the can in one night - but they weren't as spicy or tangy as I was hoping for.

Staying in the Victoria area was really cool, I was close to a lot of things, and walked to about half of the places I went. I was around the corner from Buckingham Palace, but only walked past it once - I wasn't really there to do tourist stuff, I just wanted to chill out and relax. It took a while, but one night I took the Underground up to Picidilly Circus and then walked through Leicester Square, then to Trafalgar Sqaure, and then all the way down to the waterfront, where I walked across the Millennium Bridge and over to the London Eye. I then spent a good twenty minutes sitting on a bench, looking directly across the River Thames at Big Ben and Parliament - I also gave my parents a call at this time, to see if they had heard about the Chunnel fire. It was 11pm my time, and 6pm their time.

My "extra" night in the city, I basically just did more hanging out and walking around in the Picidilly Circus/Soho area of town. Letha gave me the phone number of one of her friends that was in London, but I had trouble figuring out how to get my phone to dial her number, and eventually gave up. Half the time I tried to call back to the States, I couldn't get it to work. International calling is confusing, and country codes were problematic. When I was in Heathrow, I was trying to call my Paris Hotel, and could never get it to connect. Oh well, I just spent that last night walking around, observing more people, and taking in the city. It was a Friday night, so places stayed open much past 11pm.

No matter how my holiday turned out, I was able to get out of Indianapolis for a couple of days, I got to see a different culture and was able to get a small taste of Europe. I will begin planning a Spring Holiday to Germany - and ONLY Germany. I've decided I will NEVER attempt to travel across water via the Chunnel (on purpose, because hopefully one day I will get to ride on the Chunnel...) without having another plan. I do hope that I can make it back to London soon. If that's my only destination, then I should have a lot less stress and be able to enjoy it even more than I did this time. It was a lot of fun, and I look forward to going back. It would be a little more fun if I had someone to go with me, and share everything with, but I don't really know anyone who has the same interest as me in going over there just to hang out. It was a GREAT holiday, and I look forward to many more trips to Europe in the near future.

From Heathrow, I rode the Underground to Picidilly Circus - this was the first thing I saw when I came up from the Underground Station.

I walked to Trafalgar Square, which was a cool place to hang out.

From Trafalgar Square, you could look south and see Big Ben.

A closer look at Big Ben.

My first 500ml Pepsi!

My hotel room, nice and small and quaint.

The Hard Rock London, where I are dinner my first night in town.

The first thing I ever spend a Pound on was a West Ham United Scarf. I bought it at a street vendor near Leicester Square. It was £5.00, which is roughly ten bucks.

Kinder Surprises were everywhere - yippy! And I also tried a Bounty drink, which was basically chocolate milk with 5% Coconut Milk. It was really good, but really rich! I regularly buy Bounty Candy Bars in the international aisle at Meijer. Basically, a better version of Mounds.

My waitress at The Hard Rock sat down with me at took the time to write me up a list of some of the best bars and clubs in both London and Paris. It was pretty nice of her.

Grand Victoria Station - the upstairs train portion.

The stadium for West Ham United Football Club in Upton Park.

The Tower Bridge, with some cool war ship in front of it.

The London Bridge.

Picidilly Circus at night.

These pictures can't even begin to explain how much fun I had, and sadly a number of places I went to were at night, so the pictures didn't turn out very well. It was an amazing time, I really felt comfortable there. Everyone I talked to was really nice, and really cool. The Underground Attendants were helpful and friendly I hope to make it back sooner than later. Cheers, Mate!

Day of Double Disappointment

2008-09-08T15:15:00.001-04:00

Woke up early yesterday and drove over to Cincinnati with a couple of friends to catch the Cubs/Reds Game at Great American Ballpark. It was a really good time, and I thought we had pretty good seats.

The Cubs were winning 3-1 going into the bottom of the ninth. An error at second base ended up loading the bases, and two batter later, the Cubs lost 4-3. It was a pretty depressing afternoon, and sad to see the large number of Cubs fans end up leaving as losers. I should try to get to more baseball games next year, even if it is just the Indians. I had a good time.

Following the Cubs loss, I felt that I still had the evening to look forward to, since I was coming back to Indy and heading to Lucas Oil Stadium for the first game of the 2008 NFL Season. My hopes were high, and I had no concerns for the Colts to pull off a win.

I went from being a Pro-Chicago fan, rooting for the Cubbies to an anti-Chicago person, rooting against the Bears.

Our seats at the Lucas Oil Stadium were pretty good.

The Giant American Flag that covered the field for the National Anthem.

There was a fly over by a number of helicopters.
It was pretty cool.

Sadly, the game proved that I can be disappointed twice in one day, in two different cities, by two different teams in two different sports.

Am I upset? Yes. But, am I crazy-pissed-off? No. I am okay with the lose. It was kind of a humbling experience for us.

In 2005, we started 13-0.
In 2006, we started 9-0, before losing to the Cowboys.
In 2007, we started 7-0, before losing to the Patriots.

I think there was just a little too much pressure each season, as the season went on. I'm hoping that all of the pressure is now gone. Now, we can just go out and play football for the remainder of the season. I also hope that we end the season somewhere around 12-4, and third in the AFC. I don't want a Bye in the Opening Round of the playoffs. I want to play. Every post-season that we've had a bye, has resulted in a lose in the second round. The year we won the Super Bowl was the year we were 3rd in the AFC, and had to play each week.

There was obvious rust on Peyton Manning's part. But, it wasn't like he played like Rex Grossman, or anything. He played well. 30/49 and 257 yards is a pretty normal game. Maybe a few too many incompletes than normal, but no interceptions. We went 5/11 on Third Downs for 45%, a little lower than normal.

Jamey Richard, a rookie, took Jeff Saturday's place at Center. I am sure that Peyton and Jamey worked a lot together during the week, but it just didn't look right in the game. Also, at the same time, I don't think Richard did a good job of calling out protections for Peyton, like Saturday is so known for doing. It seemed that Peyton was rushed a little too much, aslo I think the Offensive Line needed some work. Only two of the 5 guys are even the same as last season - Ugoh and Diem. The pocket seemed to collapse really quickly, and this forced Peyton to through a little quicker and faster than he normally would want to, and I feel that resulted in some of his slow passes and some of his low passes. For last night being Peyton's only game play in 8 months, I don't think he performed that badly. I think he showed some good things, but also showed that he's going to need a little work to get back to where he is supposed to be, and where he wants to be - and where all fans want him to be.

And I have to give the Bears Defense credit. I feel that they played really well. They shut down Joseph Addai like I have never seen before. 44 yards of our 53 rushing yards are Addai. Both numbers are pathetic. Again, I don't think the offensive line did a good job of creating holes and gaps for Addai.

And our defense SUCKED. Plain and simple. We had some good hits, and it was good to see Bob Sanders running and hitting like a maniac - but it just wasn't enough. The Bears just ran too well for us to stop. Matt Forte just went off, and was impossible for our guys to stop. They executed their game plan perfectly, and it was effective against us.

Leaving the game, I learned justhow annoying the Bears fans were. There were too many in the stadium, in my opinion, and they were just obnoxious and annoying. I don't include my friends Jae or Stacy in this group - they weren't part of the drunken morons I had to deal with last night.

It was a disappointing day, and a really bummer for the Colts. I'm really scared about next weekend and Adrian Peterson. If Matt Forte can run like that against us, I can't even imagine what Peterson can do against us. I'm going to have to figure out something to make sure I can watch the game. Since the 2003 season, I have not missed watching a Colts game live on television. I hope to find a place in Munich to watch the game. Worst case scenerio, I will find an internet cafe and watch the gamecast of the game. Hopefully, with another week of practice, more and more of the rust and cobwebs can be shaken off, and everyone can work at getting back into a nice flow together. I believe things are going to get better, and at least the early loss teaches us to never take our wins for granted, and to make it back to the Super Bowl this season, we have a lot of work that we are going to have to do.

The AFC really changed yesterday.
The Colts lost.
The Chargers lost.
And the Patriots have lost their quarterback, mostly likely for the reast of the season.

The Steelers looked good.
The Jets looked good.
The Bills looked good.

It's going to be an interesting season to watch...

Finally, as we were walking back to the car, I overheard someone make this moronic comment:
"This is what happens when we change arenas. The Pacers leave Market Square Arena, and now they suck - the Colts leave the Dome, and now they are going to suck."

IDIOT. I can't believe someone would say something like that. First, because its one Colts game. Second, because they are WRONG.

Conseco Fieldhouse opened in 1999. It was the 1999-2000 season that the Pacers FINALLY made it to the NBA Finals. NEVER did they make it there while playing in Market Square Arena, and they only made it to the ABA Finals when playing in the Pepsi Coliseum. So, to say that they Pacers sucked after moving to Conseco is idiotic. Now, if he doesn't like the Pacers, and doesn't remember the season we won 61 games in the 2003-04 season. That doesn't sound like a team that sucks to me. Have the always under-performed? Sure, maybe you can say that. And we have had some bad seasons, but I would never claim that they have sucked since moving into Conseco Fieldhouse. Sorry, I needed to vent about that moronic statement.

RIP - Mr. Melendez

2008-09-03T12:45:00.003-04:00

Bill Melendez, a friend and counterpart to Charles Schulz has passed away.

Melendez animated all of the Peanuts Classics, and was a part of the trio of men who brought Charlie Brown and the gang to television.

It's kind of a bummer. He was a good man, Bill Melendez...

Also, the film world has taken a hit with the death of Don LaFontaine. Bummer. Too many deaths in 2008.

Soccer Snoopy

2008-07-30T01:24:00.001-04:00

Snoopy Picture of the Day: Soccer Snoopy.

I'm trying to turn him into a professional soccer dog!

So, Snoopy and I are sitting in the living room, and I'm watching a pre-season Bayern Munich game on GOL-TV. Honestly, I've already read the recap of this game online, but I'd like to watch it for myself and see how the team plays. I know Toni and Schweinsteiger don't come in until the second half, and I know the final score. But, I'm curious to see for myself how the team plays.

Also, I noticed something today about the Bayern kits for this season. We've got new kits for the UEFA Champions League, and we've got new away kits for the Bundesliga (which they are wearing in the game I'm watching right now!), but the home kits remain the same, and upon investigating, I've learned something...

If you look at the two new jerseys, the four stars go across the top of the jerseys in a row. However, on the jersey that remained the same, it has three stars across the top, with a second row above them for the fourth star. Basically, it looks like they decided to take all of the jerseys from last year, and just sew the four jersey above the original three, instead of printing entirely new jersey with the four stars above the crest. I just find that interesting.

Lots of talk today about my buddy Craig taking a vacation to London the same that I am there. He's a big Tottenham fan, and while I won't be London over a weekend, I still plan to tour the Tottenham Stadium, the West Ham United Stadium, and I get a free tour of the Chelsea Stadium due to my London Pass. So, Craig might take a vacation and go a couple of days before me, and stay long enough to be in town for two potential Tottenham games.

I've also got to decide if I want to try to travel to Köln for a Bayern away match the weekend I am in Germany. However, the Champions League First Leg should be the Monday or Tuesday I am in Munich, which should mean that there is a game.

Europe is about five weeks away, and I am getting REALLY excited!!!

When a Pitch is a Field and Not a Throw

2008-07-21T12:49:00.000-04:00

After my blog posting last night, which related to the two versions of "Fever Pitch" - one dealing with football (soccer - like the book) and one dealing with baseball. Sadly, the word "pitch" does relate to baseball also, so I can see why they decided not to change the title.

This correlation of the two sports has me thinking back to a conversation I had one night with my buddy Brian. He's not a fan of soccer. He does like baseball. A little over two years ago, I wasn't a fan of either sport, and I think I've finally figured out why.

Here in the "great" United States, we have American's Pastime (which is funny, since it's basically an altered version of Cricket - a British game). And in Europe there is Football, Fußball, and Fútbol. Both sports are loved in their own country, and usually despised in the others.

In the great film, "Green Street Hooligans" Elijah Wood is debating how great of a sport baseball is with Charlie Hunnam, and gives this argument: "What are you talkin' about, baseball is a girl's game? The Red Sox have a guy that pitches the ball at over 90 miles an hour." To which Charlie's character Pete responds, "Who cares? All that means is that he can have a wank faster than you."

But, the thing these two sports have in common is this: They are sports of extreme talent. Two years ago, I decided that if I was going to move to Europe, I needed to learn about their sport. Growing up, my buddies Zach and Darrell, and some other guys I knew played football (soccer). Later in life, meeting Troy, he too played. And for a while I dated a girl who played for her high school team. So, I had some exposure to the game. I'd been to some matches. But, I'd never really taken the time to study the game, and what it takes to play.

The same can be said for baseball. Growing up, I went to baseball games. I went to Old Busch Stadium a couple of times, I went to Riverfront Stadium a couple of times to watch the Reds, and of course I caught some Indianapolis Indians games. But, I'm not going to lie - I didn't really care. Not the same as going to a St. Louis Blues game at the Kiel Center and watching Brett Hull and Wayne Gratzky playing together. I just went. And this truly odd - since "Field of Dreams" is in my Top Five Films of All-Time. But, I just never cared enough to truly find the game to be entertaining to watch. No lie, going to a live game was always much more interesting than watching a game on television. However, even the live game I went to at Fenway - as exciting as it was, I really didn't care too much about the game. But, this was probably the first night I began to test the waters of serious interest in the sport. I asked Jason a number of questions, and began to understand some things I was unaware of. But, after I came back to Indy - it didn't matter anymore (probably because American Football season was starting). It wasn't until this summer, when things actually changed.

When Phil and I moved in together, there was no problem with the Colts or the Pacers, we're both fans of those teams. But, we moved in with each other in the middle of football (soccer) season, and I made one thing clear to him: When Bayern Munich was on T.V., I was going to be watching it in the living room (with my parent's cable we didn't have GOL-TV, which plays alot of the Bayern games). Later, when MLS started, I explained the same was true about the L.A. Galaxy. Phil was cool with this. Then, baseball season started. And Phil informed me that my rule also applied to him and the Cubs - and I felt that was completely fair. Although, let's look at the comparission: Bayern Munich played 34 games last season (in the Bundesliga - add 14 more games for the UEFA Cup, and six games for the DFB Cup, total of 54 games). The Cubs play 162 games in a season. So, there's a difference... But, I'm not one to stop a fan from watching his chosen sport.

So, I would often end up watching the Cubs games. At first, it was just out of boredom - and the fact that baseball was the only sport (fine, I'll call it a sport now, not a "game"... whatever...) that was on T.V. And the more and more I watched, and the more questions I asked, and the more I learned about the logic of various plays - it started getting interesting. I NEVER would have paid attention to the rotation of the stitchs before this summer. I thought I knew what a curveball looked like, but I didn't know the difference between it and a slider and/or a curveball. I'd like to think I sort of understand them now. And, with this knowledge comes more respect for the game of baseball and the people who play it.

I think that's what missing from football (soccer) in America. People just think its running around kicking a ball into a giant net. I don't think they understand the true talent involved in making the ball do the things that these guys can do. The term "bend it" is seriously just that - making a ball curve like a bomerang in the air. Essentially, a curve ball without using your hands. On top of that, footballers are almost constantly in motion (not standing around) and run an average of 9km (or 5.5 miles) in their 90 minutes of play. But, I think football (soccer) suffers the same way hockey does in America - where the NHL gets barely any television coverage, however in Canada it's basically on every night of the week. Both sports are constant and quick paced. They both have rules and regulations, like offsides, which tend to be tricky to explain to people who don't regularly watch the sport. The point that I find interesting is that AYSO claims to have 50,000 teams, composed of 650,000 kids. Add in the 250,000 unpaid volunteers, and it seems that soccer is a pretty big sport in the United States. However, it really doesn't seem to be that big of a sport in the country. Yet, LOTS of people are playing and supporting the game. I don't know the numbers on MLS attendance, I know the L.A. Galaxy draw a good crowd, but I am sure that is due to its Hollywood (Carson City) location. Kobe Bryant is often shown at games, and recently Tom Cruise has been spotted a couple. It's just another place for stars to show up, and show, and its probably mostly due to political moves in relation to David Beckham, and getting him to reciprocate. I never see College Soccer on television, and the MLS only gets Thursday nights on ESPN2 (aside from Fox Soccer Channel, or the MLS package which carries the local Fox Soccer coverage). With baseball, I can find a game on TV every night. ESPN, ESPN2, WGN, TBS, FSN-Indiana, there's lots of places that carry baseball. In Europe, I doubt you'll ever see a baseball game on television, and football (soccer) games are everywhere.

In NO WAY am I asking for the two to be on the same level. That's not my point behind this blog. I'm simply making comparissons between the two sports, and showing how they are very similar in talent, but very different in perspective. I find it to be very interesting. However, I do find the 2005 Film "Fever Pitch" to be a HORRIBLE American-Adaptation of something that probably should have just stayed a British Thing. Either way, watching the Cubs and learning more abour baseball has made this summer a lot more interesting than usual.

Sunny Skies Don't Always Mean It's a Bright Day

2008-07-13T17:42:00.003-04:00

UPDATE - July 14th 12:29pm:
GRANDMA'S OBITUARY from the Times-Republican.
GRANDMA'S OBITUARY from the Funeral Home.
There's not a lot there, but it's something.

It's a beautiful day outside, here in Indianapolis.
The sun is shining, and its a fair 80 degrees, not too hot.
Under different circumstance, I would love to be outside finishing "Marley & Me" or heading to the pool to get wet and soak up some more sun.

It's been a long time coming, and I've been doing my best to prepare myself for this event. At 9:13am this morning, I lost my other Grandmother. My Father's Mother died three years ago now. It's hard to believe it was that long ago. The other thing that's somewhat depressing is that I have not gone back to Iowa, since Kristen and I went back for her funeral. Meaning, I had not seen my Mother's Mother in over four years. It's amazing how fast time flies, but it all seems to slow down and come into perspective when an event like this happens. I feel like a bad family member, for not making an attempt to get back to Iowa AT ALL in the past four years. I'll easily fly to Boston or Los Angeles for a weekend to hang out with my friends, but I never made the effort to and visit my aging grandparents. Perhaps I continued to live in this small, pathetic world where I thought this couldn't happen. I don't know if I've accepted that my Grandma White is gone, and I don't know how long its going to take to accept Grandma Flather's death.

The past two months have kind of prepared me for this event, but I kept having hope that things weren't going to go this way. My Grandparents live in a small town in Iowa, called Marshalltown. It's about an hour north of the capital of Iowa, Des Moines. About two months ago, Grandma Flathers was taken to the hospital for some problems. The next two months of her life would become a roller-coaster of health. She'd be extremely ill and spend a week in the hospital, then she would seem to recover, and eventually get sent home. Usually this would only last a day, or two, before she would have to make another trip to the hospital, and spend more nights there. I can't even remember the numers of surgeries she's had, it seems like the wonderfully high-paid doctors couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong with her. They found a part of her small intestine that was dead - so they removed that. They found other problems, and tried to fix them. Ultimately, it seems like all they did was prolong her life ever so briefly.

My Mother would constantly send Scott and I emails - pretty much daily - updating us on what was going on. Sadly, the one day that I attempted to call my Grandmother in the hospital, she was asleep, and I only got to speak to my Grandfather. After that day, my Mother would tell me in emails, "it wasn't a good day for Grandma, I'd wait a day or two before trying to call her..." It just never seemed to be a good day, and I never got the chance to talk to her. While driving home from my parent's house today, it took me a long time to think back to when I last talked to my Grandmother. Finally, I'm pretty sure that I talked to her on my birthday. I remember being at my parent's house, and my mother bringing me her cell phone so that my Grandparents could tell me "Happy Birthday". My Grandmother had been in and out of the hospital, and never able to send me a birthday card this year. I was told that she was very sorry that she never got it sent.

There was a brief point, a little over two weeks ago, where it looked like I was going to skip my Great Vacation '08 to Wisconsin and end up going to Iowa. My parents spent the 4th of July week/weekend back in Marshalltown, providing support to my Grandfather - along with many of my Aunts and Uncles. I seriously considered backing out of the Wisconsin Dells trip, and making the trip with my parents. But, a few days before I left for Wisconsin, Grandma seemed to be doing better. So, I went ahead and made the choice to continue with my vacation with my friends. The reports I got from my mother that week made it sound like things were getting better, so I wasn't too worried. Remember, I live in this little fantasy world, were nothing bad would happen to my family.

I got the bad news around 10:30pm last night. I was out at the bar, with a ton of friends. A friend of mine was in town from Arizona, so we were hanging out and having a good time. I had talked to my parents during the day, and I knew that Grandma had been taken back to the hospital in Marshalltown, and they had determined that they needed to rush her to the hospital in Des Moines. My Uncle and Cousin were in Tennessee, drag racing this weekend, so they swung up to Indy and picked up my Mother to take her back to Iowa with them. But, when my phone rang late at night, and it was my Father, I had a bad feeling. I went outside, and answered the phone and found out what happened at the hospital. The doctors cut open my Grandmother, and didn't do anything. They immediately sewed her back up and told my relatives that there was nothing they could do for her. Her body was basically shutting itself down and various parts were beyond repair.

Luckily, my Uncle Don and my Mother made it to the hospital in time to talk to her.

Death really puts lots of things into perspective. It's one of the few, true, set-in-stone defininates in life. There's no reversing it. I've had a number of conversations in the past week, discussing the death of Heath Ledger. With "The Dark Knight" opening this coming weekend, I know its been on a lot of people's minds, and I've talked with a number of people about how sad it is that such an amazing actors had to die so young. He will NEVER do another role. But, as sad as that fact is, it's worse to know that I'll never get another birthday card from my Grandma Flathers.

I owe a special THANK YOU to all my friends who I was hanging out with last night. Troy, most of all. Troy was with me when I was on the phone with my Mother, trying to find out exactly what was going on. Troy was ready to drop everything and drive me out to Iowa to be with my Grandmother. Just the gesture meant a lot to me. I got numerous hugs from Brandy, Amanda, and Stephanie. And my Dudes were very supportive and helping as well. Jason randomly called me, and he allowed me to vent to him about things. Also, Dave Maier was kind enough to call and check in on me today. Its times like these that I realize I have such good friends. I hope they know how appreciated their concern is.

So, I'm pulling a double at work tomorrow. Then, its off to Iowa for the rest of the week. Showing, Funeral, Crappy-Circumstances Family Reunion. I'll get to see a lot of my family that I haven't seen in over four years, so I suppose its good that I'm going back, I only wish it was under better circumstances, and I wish I had done a better job of making my way back to Iowa before now. I think I am going to make a purposeful and conscious effort EVERY year to at least get back to Iowa for a couple of days. Just to spend some time with both of Grandfathers. Because, who knows how long they have left. My Grandpa White was in town with my Aunt and Uncle the night before I left for Wisconsin, and sadly it didn't even seem like my Grandpa remembered me. It was a little depressing, but aside from that: Grandpa White can still play Pinnochle pretty darn good!

Now that I've gotten all this off my chest, maybe I can actually go outside and enjoy some of this bright and sunny weather. The back porch, a Blue Moon, and my book...

Mealtime at Cabela's

2008-07-06T15:28:00.000-04:00

Zach had never been to a Cabela's, so we stopped at one on the way
back home today. They have the Fox River Cafe inside, so that's where
we at lunch at. I had a Venison Brat, and it was amazing! I also
purchased some beef sticks made from Elk, Venison and Buffalo.

R.I.P. Rufus

2008-06-23T04:22:00.002-04:00

I know he's famous for a lot of different things, but he'll always just be Rufus to me.

Sadly, comedian George Carlin passed away on Sunday, at the age of 71.

His stand-up was hilarious, and I always wished Rufus would bring a telephone booth into my life.

He was also funny in "Dogma" and "Jersey Girl".

USA Today article.
New York Times article.

"The Happening" Review

2008-06-12T03:00:00.002-04:00

DO NOT SEE THIS FILM!!!!!
Seriously. DEAD SERIOUS.
Watch the Red Band Trailer - and you've seen the film.
Yep, I spoiled it for you.
NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS in this film.
YOU LEARN NOTHING MORE than what they tell you in the preview.
It is a COMPLETE WASTE of time.
Watch the 2 1/2 minutes - and save 91 minutes of your life.

Honestly, I think I'm going to make it my mission to prevent ANYONE I know from going to see this film. M. Night Shyamalan has hit a horrible low on this film. WHY do I ever believe he's going to deliver a "good" film? DOWNHILL: "The Village" = Mediocre. "Lady in the Water" = Nothing Good to Say. "The Happening" = WORST FILM I've seen in a long time, and my new mission to RUIN the film. RUIN.

You're going to wish you listened to me...

"Green Street Hooligans" Review

2008-06-10T22:44:00.002-04:00

This film is one that I wanted to see a long time ago. For some reason, I think Justin owns it, but I never borrow it from him. I should have. Because, I really enjoyed the flick.

It's got two things that I'm really interested in: Football (Soccer) and London.

The flick opens with Elijah Wood's character, Matt, getting kicked out of Harvard. He took the fall for his roommate, to save him from getting expelled - because his roommate's father is in politics.

Matt then heads over to London to meet up with his sister - played by the beautiful Claire Forlani, and he meets his brother-in-law, Steve, for the first time. Not long after he arrives, he's hanging out with Steve's brother, Pete. Pete quickly introduces him to his world of Football.

Here's the thing about Pete: From the first time I saw him, I swore I know the actor - but I couldn't figure out who it was. Halfway through the flick I had to look it up, because it was bothering me so badly. It turns out the he's played by Charlie Hunnam - who played Jay Baruchel's British Thespian Roommate Lloyd, on "Undeclared". I didn't recognize him with his head shaved in this film, but I knew I knew the actor - and I was right. So, that was a pretty cool added bonus to the film.

So, the flick starts off as a Football Film. The first 30 minutes or so are really about this group of guys and their love for West Ham United, it follows them from the pub to the stadium. Following his first game, Matt gets involved in his first fight. And then the film strays away from it's focus on football, and transfers to this group of guys and their loyalties.

Despite his being a "Yank", Matt quickly earns credit within the group of men. There's some pretty typical dramatic moments in the film, and it has a couple of small twists, but nothing that's outrageous. And one of them I feel pretty stupid for not putting together on my own.

Near the end, it does a good job of testing character's loyalties and their promises they've made. And when some of the main characters have to make choices, it's done in a very dramatic fashion that comes off sincere.

I really enjoyed the film, and I thought the acting was pretty good for what it was. It's not an overly dramatic film, and there's not really any seriously dramatic scenes that required exquisite top-notch acting. So, the story itself did a pretty good job of keeping me entertained, and I was never bored.

4 Stars out of 5.

"Reservation Road" Review

2008-06-09T23:24:00.003-04:00

Okay, I'll be honest - the only reason I added this flick to my Netflix Queue was because of the cast. I didn't think it sounded super interesting, but it had three actors that I REALLY like in it, so I thought I would give it a shot.

Joaquin Phoenix ("Return to Paradise") and Jennifer Connelly ("The Rocketeer") star as a couple who have a son that is killed in a hit and run accident. Mark Ruffalo ("You Can Count on Me") stars as the man who drove the car that killed their son.

The acting is AMAZING. Really. Joaquin appears completely different, with a beard, and plays the upset and confused father role to perfection. His obsessive nature begins to cause turmoil with his wife, and they have some amazing scenes together - arguing over how each one of them is grieving. It's some powerful stuff.

Mark Ruffalo does an amazing job of playing a man burdened by guilt, and is constantly attempting to convince himself to do the right thing. He too does a really good job.

My biggest issue with the film is that it relies too much on the "small town" aspect of things to get the story moving. There are too many characters that intertwine into the lives of the two main groups of people, and too many things are left to chance. Needless to say, I know this type of thing must happen everyday in America, and 99% of the time its never resolved - but maybe this script focuses on one of those small towns in the Northeast (where everyone is a Red Sox fan!) and its a place where you can constantly interact with someone who killed your son, and not even know it. I don't know. I just didn't buy the believability of that aspect of the story.

It's also a SLOW film. It's very emotion-driven. And to be honest, it's a good thing I watched it at work, where I had nothing else to do. Because if i were at home with all of the distractions of home - then I may never have gotten through the entire film, or if I did - I wouldn't have paid attention to half of it.

And the worst part is the anti-climactic ending. It really falls short of delivering me any kind of "pay off" for watching the first hour and a half. Aside from the character study - that is the middle of the film - there's really not much else to watch in this one. Just some amazing performances, ruined by a bleak story that is about as interesting as a heart monitor on a dead person.

Result: 2 1/2 Stars out of 5.

Circa Ten Years Later

2008-06-07T04:31:00.000-04:00

Today is my birthday.
Big deal.
I've never been one to celebrate birthdays, and this year is worse than normal.

I'm 28. I graduated High School ten years and three days ago.

Three days before I turned 18, I graduated from Lawrence Central.

I was a high school senior, with big dreams in my eyes. And ten years later, I have to look back at those big dreams...

I wanted to be married. And I was. And it was amazing. Sadly, for various reasons it didn't work out. I miss how prooud my parents were of me. This girl caused me to "settle down". My parents loved her, my grandparents loved her, I was madly in love with her, and then my world came crashing down. Between now and 30 was when I thought that "kids" would come into play. Sadly, that didn't happen. And sadly, I doubt anyone will ever want to commit to me, and do the whole kids thing. It just doesn't look to be in my cards.

I wanted to be a lawyer. Yeah, that didn't last long. It wasn't too long before I decided I wanted to be a filmmaker, which changed my goals to finishing film school. While I tried TWICE to become a film student - I failed both times. I also failed when I tried to be a German Major. I just don't seem to be good at school. Also, I love making money, and I tried to supper my ex-wife while she was in school. Either way, I was a loser in comparison to where I wanted my life to be. School just did not work out. And for those who didn't know: I was pre-law when I graduated high school. I picked my girlfriend over college - and that screwed up my life. Who knows where I could have been, if I just cut ties and moved on. Went to college in Kentucky - met new people - and didn't live the life I did. Probably never would have lived in California, and I never would have met Kristen - who I believed (and somewhat still do) to be the Love of My Life. But, instead I picked a girl - because I thought she made me happy.

That was a BIG mistake in my life. Because not only did "She" cause me to be physically damaging to my body (tried to slit my wrist), she permanently screwed me up me up emotionally and psychologically - she caused me a large amount of legal trouble. Legal trouble that I wish was not on my record, and was not public knowledge - especially since she made lots of false claims - and never showed up in court, because she know they were false.

Her psychological mis-treatment of me led to my (now expunged) "criminal" record. It was the lowest point in my life. Spending time in a "mental treatment facility" and making HORRIBLE personal decisions. Drugs, alcohol, and theft. They all added up to a long list of dis-appointments I caused in my parents life. It was probably the WORST time of my life - and if not for my Father and Danny Smith, I probably would have ended up dead. I can vividly remember the day my Mother asked me to come to her office - and I was "ambushed" by Dad and Danny - and immediately taken to Charter Hospital (which doesn't exist anymore...). I was SO MAD at that point - but I now realize that it was a turning point in my life. And if not for the three of them, I probably would have ended up dead near that time. I was at a very destructive point, and needed intervention to improve my living condition.

So, the "roller coaster" of the last ten years started out on a low. It came up high when I was working on "Consternate" with Jason. My "big sister" Brandy James was one of the few people who helped me through my "low" emotional time, and I remember the night I spent at her house, with Joe Langlais and Jason Maier. It changed my life forever, because it was the night Jason and I decided to renew our High School Friendship (I still have the picture of Jason, Joe and I on graduation night...) and it was not too much longer before I was talking about making a film with Jason. Jason's older brother - Dave - helped me get back on my feet with a job, and getting fired from Clearwater was another low-point my life, when I knew I let down both David and Jason. Once again, I just became a "screw up" in everyone's eyes.

I moved to California. It was my first attempt at being an "adult" on my own. It lasted six months. It should have lasted longer, but I was somewhat homesick - and scared to make long-term commitments to live with people I didn't know. I took the easy way out, and now I regret it. I did NOT regret it while I was married, because my return to Indy resulted in meeting Kristen, and being happily (at first) married. But, while I lived in Los Angeles, I was involved with a very cool and beautiful Latino girl - who could have broken my heart just as easily as Kristen did. Small pain, different city, less moving. I could have dealt with that. I should have moved in with Sergio, Eli or Hans - the three people who offered my a place to live, when I got semi-kicked out of my living place.

Life went pretty good from the end of 2001 until the middle of 2006. I came back to Indy, I met Kristen, I got married, my parents were proud of me, my family started seeing me as an adult, I got treated different, I felt like an adult - life was good. Then, for various reason - which I'm sure were my fault - I disappointed everyone by screwing up my relationship with Kristen, and the end result was divorce. While I just wanted a "break" and some time apart to think about things, I was suddenly served with divorce papers. It turned out Kristen knew what she wanted, and did NOT need time to think about it. I failed as a husband in the last ten years. I gave one woman everything I possibly could, and I got served with divorce papers in the end, and was denied ever seeing my dog - which I raise from a puppy. I know I was at fault, and I know I did a lot of things wrong - but given some time to think, I know I would have attempted to reconcile with Kristen. But, that's not what she was interested in. She didn't love me, she didn't want me. And she made that very clear. I failed at being a husband, I failed at being a significant other, and I failed in everyone's eys because someone wanted to divorce me. It was NOT what I wanted, but I have always wanted to make Kristen happy - so I did not fight her. And that was a mistake. If I asked the judge to order counseling - then maybe we could have worked things out. But, I didn't. Once again, it was my fault.

Basically, when I turned 18, my parent's allowed me to become an adult. I suppose it was an experiment to see if I could live up to their first 18 years of "training". I know in the past ten years, I've done a lot of things they are not proud of. I know I still do things that they do not approve of. I know I don't seem to be as religious as they would like - which goes back to my distaste for established religion, and my fight for spirituality to be between ME and GOD and NO ONE else. I know I've disappointed them. I'm only human. But, the best part is that my parents still love me. Despite all the things I do wrong. Despite my divorce, and my shaming their name and their family - they still love me. They are true examples of Unconditional Love. Obviously better than I can be, as I failed in marriage, and may never have the chance to give them grandchildren.

Ten Years and three days later. WHAT do I have to be happy about on this birthday?

I've got awesome parents, who I've already explained to be the epitome of Unconditional Love.

I've got a cool brother, who is fun to talk to, despite our different lifestyles and goals.

I've got Jason L. Maier, and his wife, who allow me to come to Boston and visit them when I need a break from Indianapolis. They allow me to invade their lives, and hang out.

I've got Zach Proctor - who I have known for 15 years, over HALF of my life. I've also got Jenny, Zach's wife. Who, despite being friends with Kristen, is still willing to be friends with me. She won't pick sides, she still defends Kristen when I talk about her, but (from what I'm told) she defends me against Kristen's comments.

I've got Sergio. My closest friend while I lived in California, and the ONLY person I can call at 2am (because that's only 11pm to him!!!) when I am depressed and need someone to talk to, or vent to, or cry to. And he listens to it all.

I've got Phil. I share a townhouse with a really cool, really easy-going, really laid back person, who I've never been in a fight (physical or verbal) with.

I've got Troy, who I can always count on to make me laugh and smile anytime we hang out. From poker nights to me teaching him how to work Blogger - I just really enjoy spending time with him.

I've got David Maier. A man who I've always looked up to. A family man, who is a real inspiration. A man who has such a beautiful and perfect family, that I could only dream of having something half as good as he does - and only wish Kristen and I worked out as well as Dave and Jennifer did - with Samantha and Drew as proof of their love and hard work. The entire Maier Clan is amazing - and know how to love families.

I've also got a very large group of friends, who I love to hang out with in their own time. From Justin and Fallon to Kyle and Elise. From Samir to Michael Maier. From Matt ("Cheech") and Lily to Matt ("Bear") and Andy to Eddie and Aaron. I've been able to make a lot of friends - all of whom accept me for who I am, and treat me like a real person.

So, here I am. Ten years and three days later. So much to think about. Basically a third of my life has gone by. There's been up, there's been downs. I've been happy, and I've been depressed. I'm made films, and I've been in love.

Despite all the failures and shortcomings that I feel responsible for, I have lived my life. And for the most part, I've live it how I wanted to. So, sitting here, right now, on my 28th Birthday - all I can do is Thank God that I am alive. Thank God that I loved someone as much as a loved Kristen. Thank God for protecting me, and getting me this far along in life. And Thank God for blessing me with the people who have watched over me, protected me, and kept me out of more trouble.

The past tens are FAR, FAR, FAR from what I wanted them to be.

But, they've made me who I am today.

And when I look back, despite all the heartache, despite all the pain, despite all of the nights I've cried myself to sleep: I've got the most important things in the world. Family. Friends. And people who act like they love me. So, despite how much I feel like a failure - I know I've got people who tell this Failure to keep trying. And maybe one day, I'll make them all proud of me. I can only hope that I can re-gain trust in all of the people I've let down.

So, right now, I vow to make the next ten years of my life - Better than EVER before.

"Live like you mean it. / Love 'til you feel it. / It's all that we've got in our lives..."

And, I just want to take one second to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to all the people who have helped me through the rough times, the good times, and the times I don't want to talk about. Without each one of you - Shane wouldn't be celebrating 28 years. I'm only alive this day, due to my friends and family who have kept me off the destructive path I started 10 years ago.

I promise to make the next ten years better than last.

Two Quick Documentary Reviews

2008-06-03T02:49:00.000-04:00

Tonight - at work - I utilized Netflix's powers of watching films online, to watch two documentaries.

The first was "Girl 27" and it was pretty interesting and informational at first, but the second half of the film was kind of flat. It revolves around a Day Player in Hollywood in the 1930s. She went to what she thought was a casting call, and later found out she was being used as "entertainment" for an MGM Salesman. That night, she was raped. The most interesting parts of the documentary are those that reveal how much Los Angeles was under the control of film studios - especially MGM - and how they stone-walled the investigation and the trial. Serious conspiracy theory stuff, and it was interesting. But, like I said, the second half just seems to drag on.

Secondly, I watched "Deliver Us From Evil" and it was a very disturbing documentary that involves a Catholic Priest, who admits to many cases of sexual assault on children. Hearing the interviews of various people (the children, now grown up) who were assaulted by this man, are pretty freaky. There are interviews with their parents, and descriptions of how this man - Oliver O'Grady - was able to manipulate families and work his way into taking advantage of these children. The hardest to watch was the boy, who finally admitted to what was done to him, and the fact that this Priest was also having a sexual relation with his married mother - at the same time - in order to keep her quiet about what he was doing to her son. It's insane! Crazy, and it often made me squirm, thinking about what this man did for roughly 20 years. CRAZY!

The films ends with a number of "facts". The one I found most disturbing was:

In 2005, George W. Bush granted immunity to Pope Benedict XVI, from a lawsuit filed against him, claiming that he helped with the cover-up of sexual assault on young boys. HERE is an article from the First Amendment Center. Crazy, crazy, crazy...

The documentary was kind of tough to watch. But, pretty interesting at the same time. Especially with the large number of interviews from Father O'Grady, and his attitudes towards what he did. There are lots of deposition interviews included in the documentary.

I give both of them 3 out of 5 Stars.

Been Kinda Nostalgic, A Hidden Documentary Review

2008-05-25T03:00:00.003-04:00

This story goes back a few nights. It begins one night when I came home, kinda late, and found Phil and a friend of his watching "Consternate". I, of course, had to kick back and watch some of it with them. Like always, it got me thinking about how much fun that time of my life was.

The past two nights, I've had the pleasure of spending my evenings with Zach and Jenny Proctor. And last night, I asked Zach if he missed the times when we used to make films. And he claimed that he did. I told him I had been thinking about it a lot recently.

That brings us to tonight. Around 11pm, I was trying to watch the end of the Celtics game and I ended up falling asleep. When I woke up to the news, I decided it was time to call it a night. Obviously, I worked a little too hard today, and all those hours of playing Wii must have worn me out. I came upstairs, I turned on the DVD player - hit Play on "Cheers" and laid down for the night.

About 20 minutes later the phone rang. A Mister Jason L. Maier was calling to talk while he was driving home. We talked for a good 30 minutes or so, and I found myself wide awake. So, I decided to go downstairs and pop in one of my Netflix films.

Tonight's flick was "Show Business: The Road to Broadway". It was a Documentary that I read about on another blog, so I added it to my Netflix Queue, and since I've been in a documentary mood recently, I moved it up to the top. Jason and I also talked about the flick, while we were on the phone - which is partially what put the idea to watch it into my head. I asked him if he had seen it, and he told me he does own it, and has attempted to watch it once, but was interrupted and has never finished it.

For the most part, I enjoyed the documentary. It covered two shows that I was aware of - thanks to Jason - and two shows that I knew nothing about. I think I would have rather seen some more of the actual behind-the-scenes production than what was included, but overall it covered the shows and their writers/directors/producers pretty well. Sadly, it was NOT anywhere near as good as "No Day But Today: The Story of Rent", but it did have more material to cover, and attempt to tie together for a cohesive storyline. It did do an amazing job of showing the time, love, and determination that goes into producing Broadway productions.

And it reminded me, once again, how much I miss being a part of a large collective group of people, attempting to create a beautiful piece of art...

Talked to Japan

2008-05-15T20:27:00.002-04:00

My Father had me install the Windows Live Messenger software, and I was able to put it to use tonight. When my parents woke up, I was in the middle of eating dinner. I've been leaving Windows Live Messenger running anytime my laptop is on, just so that I can get any messages they want to send - when I woke up this morning, I had a message from them saying they had arrived safely, and were going to sleep.

Well, tonight we chatted for a little while, and then I brought my laptop up into my room and we used the "call" feature to actual talk to each other over the internet. It was pretty cool! I've never done anything like that, and I think it's pretty neat to know that they are 10,421km away from me, and we were talking like we were both in the same city. It was pretty cool. Sadly, they didn't take their webcam with them, so we weren't able to do the video chatting.

It was still really cool to hear their stories from their few hours in Japan.

"Speed Racer" Review

2008-05-10T17:18:00.001-04:00

"Speed Racer" Review coming shortly...

"Real Work" needs to get done...

"Redbelt" Review

2008-05-10T16:15:00.003-04:00

After I took Amanda home, I was up in Noblesville and Phil mentioned that we was thinking about watching "Speed Racer" last night. So, I called him to see if he was still going to, and he told me that the earliest we could watch it was 11:35pm, but if I wanted to - he would run the print. So, I told him I would come up and hang out with him until then (since I was already all the way up in Noblesville anyways...). So, I get to Phil's theatre, we hang out a little bit and then I realize that his theatre is playing "Redbelt". It's a film I was really interested in watching, and thought I was going to have to find the time to go to Landmark to watch it. As fate would have it, "Redbelt" started two minutes after I arrived, and it got over at 11:40pm. Phil said he'd have "Speed Racer" ready when I was done - so I was off to a second movie.

"Redbelt" is a David Mamet film, and I think it's better to let people know that before they go into the film. I'm the ONLY person I know who liked the film "Spartan". Although, I know a number of people who enjoyed "State and Main". The film I consider him most appealing was "Glengarry Glen Ross", which he only wrote. Although, I suppose more people are probably familiar with "Ronin", yet another good film he wrote.

The biggest complaint about Mamet films are the lack of diversity in his characters. Many of them use the same types of language and idioms, and almost all sound like clones of one another. Some might say that its due to the fact that Mamet attempts to give us one small niche, and not a broad picture. In his small niches of characters, they are people who all do talk and act the same, because they have grown up together in the same neighborhood and spent the lives working together. I can buy that, and that's good - because many of the characters in "Redbelt" seem to talk and act like they've all lived on the same block for 30 years, even the Hollywood Actor.

I'm a big fan of Chiwetel Ejiofor, basically the first time I remember seeing him was "Love Actually". Then he popped up in "Four Brothers" and "Serenity". Especially after "Serenity", I decided I wanted to keep an eye on this dude, because of his wide variety of character portrayals. I liked him in "Inside Man", but missed him in "American Gangster" - Note to self: Add that to your NetFlix. I do have "Dirty Pretty Things" in my NetFlix, which I hear is a GREAT flick, I should probably move it up...

Now, back to Chewie. He's amazing in this film as Mike Terry, the protagonist who teaches Jujitsu. His attitude and demeanor are perfect, and he plays a man who knows all the angles to everything. "There is no situation that you can not escape from" is the mantra he preaches throughout the film. And his character does an amazing job of sticking to his beliefs, all the way to the end - no matter how hard things get for him.

Much like "Spartan", the film just throws us into the action, without very much set up. We are introduced to Mike Terry teaching his class, and following his class we introduced to what seems to be a completely random woman, who would later become very pivotal in many of the events to come.

Through a series of events, Mike finds himself at the same bar as an Actor, Chet Frank - played by Tim Allen - and when Allen's character is attached Mike rescues him. This begins a "friendship" between the two men. A "friendship" that is not at all as it seems.

As the film progress, and Mike gets involved as a producer on Chet's current film, Mike meets more and more people and believes he is networking with them, only to be cold-shouldered and learn that everything he was helping with on the film has been stolen from him, and in turn used to create a new style of Mixed-Martial Arts fighting.

Every character in the film does an amazing job of two-facing themselves. The actors were perfect. And the as the plot continues to unfold, you get to see - as Mike does - the evil nature of people, as they all continue to stab him in the back. And when it's all said and done, and Mike's got nowhere left to turn, and it looks like he has lost everything, his character makes a choice the goes against his entire teaching philosophy, and he is forced to fight in the MMA Event. It's an amazing character struggle, and watching Mike constantly hope and believe that he can make things better is amazing to watch. He's struggling with so many different things, and everything continues to snowball down on top of him, and he is finally forced to make move that he considers defaming to his character, but it is the only move he has to "escape".

About the only complaint I have about the film is this: I like ambiguous endings, but this one might have been a little too much, even for me. I like how it ended, but I didn't like the number of questions that are still left unanswered when the credits begin to roll. Too many things are brought up during the climax - and then there is basically zero falling action or resolution. I'm not saying it ruined the film, but it's the only thing I didn't really like about it.

Overall, I think its one of the best concepts I've seen recently - I'm TIRED of sequels and remakes!!! And I think all of the acting is top-notch quality. I highly recommend the flick, I think its a good example of original and intriguing filmmaking.

"What Happens in Vegas" Review

2008-05-10T16:04:00.003-04:00

I'll be honest, I had absolutely no desire to see "What Happens in Vegas" at all. The preview really didn't look very good, and I wasn't going to waste my time.

Then, I was hanging out with my friend Amanda last night, and it was the last time I'll get to see her for a while - because right now she's waiting in Charlotte to catch a plane to Athens and then she'll be in Jordan for three weeks after that. We decided to hang out last night and I decided to let her pick the movie we were going to watch. So, I ended up seeing a movie I didn't have any intention of seeing.

Now, the good part was this: My intentions were so low, and I was expecting such a horrible film - that I actually enjoyed it for the most part. The storyline was nothing new or mind-bending. From the preview, you knew exactly what you were getting into, and you knew that even when things were looking good - they were going to turn bad, but then they would somehow all work out in the end. No big surprises, but that was fine.

The emotions that are tackled in this flick are actually pretty interesting. After the drunken "marriage" in Vegas - and the winning of $3 Million - Kuthcer and Diaz's characters have A LOT of baggage that ends up being addressed throughout the film. From the emotions of being dumped by someone, to the hope of reconciliation, to not living up to your parent's expectations, it was a lot to handle, and I felt like they handled it well.

I laughed a lot during the movie, I laughed A LOT more than I thought I was going to. Some running gags, some witty comments, it was a lot better than I thought. Although, I do ask myself this question: "Would I have laughed so much, if I was just watching it with a small group of people?" See, we went and watched the film in an almost sold-out auditorium at Castleton - and it's been a long-standing theory of mine, that when I see films in larger groups, I laugh more than when I just screen the films with small groups of friends. I'm going to continue to allow myself to believe that I did just enjoy the film for what it was: Entertainment, and nothing more. I don't think it was anything special cinematically, and I don't think it's the smartest thing ever written. But, for last night, it was what we were looking for. So, I'll just keep telling myself that I enjoyed it, despite the fact that I didn't want to.